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Reflect Out Loud

"The unexamined life is not worth living." – Socrates

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Lonely Next to You

You could be laying next to someone and still feel lonely. Disconnected. Unloved.

Which I think points to the fact that loneliness and being alone are different.

You could be alone and not feel lonely.

I think I’m being pointed back to the same lesson.

But its taken some time for it to fully sink in.

Sometimes we ignore our hunches.

We know intuitively that something/someone isn’t quite right for us. But we keep trying to make it work. Trying to put a square peg in a round hole. Trying to fit the slipper in the wrong foot. Hoping that maybe just a little more time, just a little more investment will do the trick.

We leave disappointed every time. Tired from unreciprocated efforts.

Eventually someone else comes around and reminds you of how you should be treated. You KNOW the difference. You observe the difference.

They call. They ask about your day. They remember the details. They go beyond.

And then you think to yourself “Oh! Right! That’s exactly how it should feel like!”

And then the sick part of you goes “Why doesn’t s/he do what this person’s doing?”

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And if we don’t get out of this mindset fast we start going into the dark hole of “Why aren’t I good enough?” Or “What can I do to win this person?”

Fuck that.

You don’t have to win anybody.

Don’t go on living to try to be enough for someone.

And don’t wait for someone who isn’t all there to make up their mind about you.

Be with someone who is 100% all in.

Who won’t make you feel like you have to convince them that you’re good enough.

Know your worth. Know that you deserve someone who loves you like you love them.

But even then that doesn’t mean you’re permanently free from feeling lonely.

Sometimes loneliness hits even when you have all of that love you crave. Or even when you’re surrounded by people.

But I’ll talk more about that next time.

 

 

YOU CAN DO IT

There is no point in crying or being sad about not having enough knowledge in a subject or about not being skilled enough in a particular field. I mean, if you want to go be sad about it for two seconds – fine, mope if need be. But don’t stay stuck feeling sorry for yourself for too long because it just doesn’t serve you in any good way. If you realize there is something you aren’t good at, say math, for instance – feeling ashamed or bad for yourself isn’t going to help you improve your math skills. Instead, buy a book on basic math principles. Go on YouTube and type in “math for beginners.” Reach out to friends who can help. Reach out to tutors and teachers. Do something that will actually help you improve your skills rather than sit there and feel like a moron. You’re not a moron. You have the capability to learn anything you put your mind to. Be patient with yourself as you learn a new skill. You didn’t learn to walk and talk in a day, so don’t expect to be an expert at any one thing in a day. Take your time to learn at your own pace and in your own way. Don’t worry about what other people are doing and how much more or less they know compared to you. Focus on you. Focus on the skill you want to improve without comparing yourself to anyone else.
Know that…
You can learn.
You can improve yourself.
You can accomplish your goals.
You are intelligent.
You are capable.

So less moping and complaning and more searching and learning ;).

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