I’m in a waiting period.
Waiting for all the seeds I’ve planted to bloom.
I’ve done my part. I’ve done everything I can do in this moment. The only thing left to do is wait.
I have two choices. I can either sit here anxiously looking up at the heavens while giving the universe the stink eye – like make it happen alreadyyyy!!!
Or… I can relax.
I can appreciate all this FREE time I’m being granted to simply exist. No need to be anywhere. Run anywhere. Get anywhere. It’s simply stay put and relax time.
But then a part of me feels like I’m not getting anywhere. I’m not getting ahead fast enough.
But I also have two choices here.
I can entertain all kinds of repetitive, nagging thoughts that say “you’re not moving fast enough. You should be more ahead. Things need to be happening faster. You’re just wasting time. You’re delayed to your own life. You don’t have the things you want.”
I can choose different. I can choose to think that this is the exact place I need to be right now. There is no place to rush to. My life is here, now. I can be comfortable in this moment. This is a learning period, not a “doing” period. Even though things are moving at a slower pace doesn’t mean they can’t suddenly accelerate at a different time, like in a race car game when the last car suddenly catches those turbo boost lanes that leverages them towards first place.
What voice am I going to feed?
Probably a little bit of both. Because I’m human and pout and throw tantrums when I don’t get what I want. But then I catch myself. I soothe myself saying, “I know you want to be at step 6, 7 or 8 but right now you’re at step 2 and it’s frustrating. I know it all looks overwhelming. And that’s okay. This is a process. Be okay with the process. Choose to believe that life is working FOR you. It’s not a matter of IF but WHEN it all will manifest. So enjoy the unfolding. One day at a time. No rush. No tantrums. Go have fun!”
I freak out, then everything works out in the end. Maybe a part of me thinks that I need to freak out to get things to move faster. But really, I just need to trust and relax. Because when I look back at my life, I don’t want to have an archive of anxious, sad, stressful memories. I want to see endless footage of me smiling through my life.
*car image credit to APKpure.com