Love is an incredible drug

Once I have it I’m so afraid to lose it

and if I give it, sometimes I fear it’ll be rejected

so at times I withhold it… because if I admit I love you, really love you, then I am vulnerable. I’ve given my power away.

You love me now, but will you love me tomorrow?

I think about how time takes everything away… and eventually we say good bye to everything in this material world

Everything is borrowed. Temporary. Here and then not here.

Ain’t that some shit?

But that’s also a very limiting perspective of what the possibilities really are. So don’t let my cynicism bring you down.

Have you ever watched the movie, “What dreams may come”?

Perhaps life is more romantic than I think it is.
Perhaps it’s more magical than I allow it to be.
Perhaps it’s more beautiful than the jaded part of me allows me to see.

Anyway…

I don’t wanna be cynical and negative
and keep complaining to you like I always do

But I wanted to vent a little bit…

Other things I’ve been reflecting on:
“We’re all walking each other home” a quote I’m heavily resonating with.

We need to get our shit together.
The “they” and “them” we keep waiting to do something about our problems is me and you.

It’s up to us to stir this ship in the direction we wish it to go.

Older generations dying off – and we are the leaders of today’s world.

We are the doctors, the teachers, the janitors, the law makers, the jail keepers, the deli clerk, the guy in the corner asking for a dollar — it’s us. This is it and this is us. This is our planet in the condition that it’s in. Thank you for all you do.

Thank you for the roads, they get us to and from places.
Thank you for the food you planted: we can just easily choose them in our abundant markets. Thank you for the water in my pipes. Thank you for pizza. For electricity. For my iPhone. For the music you make.

You’re all incredible.

Room for improvement? Yes. Complaining isn’t enough. We have to DO something about it. Taking accountability and with loving kindness, compassion, order, justice and with virtue construct what we wish to see.

Ego, tame it.

I’m sorry goes a long way. Be willing to accept you’re not perfect either. Be willing to take accountability for your side and part of the equation. We’re all human and make mistakes. Forgive. Heal. Let go. Move on. Restore.

What’s the point of creating suffering for each other? It’s much better if we’re having fun. If we’re healthy. If we are using our brain power for good. To have an awesome and lovely party here on our beautiful planet Earth. Walking each other through the days that unfold.

Be kind

Have patience

Plant good seeds

Let’s take care of each other

——

also,

I think I’m in love.

And I’m excited and scared all at the same time

but what I really want most is to trust

trust the process

trust life

and maybe to believe in God again

a good God

One that truly cares about all and is for all, even the naughty ones in the bunch – without judgement

just love

Pure love

——

oh,

I think I also want a baby. Lol

absurd! I never thought I’d say that

but first, I’m more focused on building security

and finding myself, my voice, and be more ingrained and aligned in my work.

Maybe I’ll adopt.

but honestly who knows… I can die tomorrow for all I know (here’s my cynicism again 😩). I can be so dark sometimes but also so light — it’s annoying to hold both these energies. Can’t I just be normal? Can’t I just be a normal person who doesn’t think so much and feel so much? Is that what normal even is?

ok I’m done

If you’re reading this, wow

you’re the real MVP

I’ve always dreamt of having people read my words 🥹

you’re a dream come true

thank you

I love you

^ I don’t even know you, how can I say I love you

I don’t know, I think I just do