Lately I’ve been feeling all the feels I might as well be a musical scale.

But sadness is this underlying feeling that never really leaves. It’s always there. “I’m sad” “I’m sad” “I’m sad” plays in my head like tape recorder.

Sometimes I ask the voice why does it feel sad.

It tells me “all the reasons there is to be sad about.”

It’s annoying. Why do I have to feel so much? Then I feel guilty for calling it annoying rather than accepting my experience without judgement. I get sad for being sad. Then I’m double sad.

I’m sad for the suffering in the world. For the people who struggle. For my brother whose mental health has struggled and for all that ailed him in his life.

For the children who starve while Louis Voitton just sold another $2,600 hand bag. Are you fucking kidding me? What are we doing?

No shade to Louis or expensive handbags, but is that what really matters when there are people who can’t even eat a meal tonight?

What happened to your heart, human?

We shame and judge one another. We’re mean. We have guns and wars. We’re still so immature.

I’m sad.

I’m sad because of my own humanity. My own faults. My own shortcomings. My inability to save the world or even myself.

So I’m sitting with myself and my sins. Learning to accept what is without judgement and from this space do the best I can as best I can. Though it feels like it’s never enough. It’s like trying to put out a fire with a teaspoon of water. WTF is me and my little teaspoon really gonna do?

But perhaps if we united our forces. If we each brought a little cup. A little teaspoon. A bucket. A handful. A droplet. A case. A jet. A plane. A prayer. A whatever you can — maybe then we could see the results of a better world.

Will you help be the change?

I dunno man… and then what’s it all for anyway?

Health, peace, freedom, love is what I hope.

I oscillate between sadness, joy, anger, peace, love, hope, disappointment, frustration, fear, excitement, awe, hope, and sadness again.

The sadness gets in my way. It stops me from taking action. I can’t let it.

God, if you’re real will you help me and the world? I may not have all the strength in me but if you’re real and if you’re good and if you can hear me maybe you can please help.