No matter what, life goes on. It’s a cold reality.
This week I was walking the beach boardwalk and I felt like I was observing the moment outside of myself from above like a drone. I could see the passage of time. Everything and everyone moving on, living their life as if I wasn’t even here. Forgotten. Never known.
It made me think of the people I lost this year. My best friend, now a widow, slowly moving forward. Life must go on.
It’s been 6 days of silence between my partner and I. From “I love you” and exploring the world together to distance and silence. As if we just came and went.
I’m taking a deep breath as I write this and reflect on the coming together and falling apart. The ebb and flow. The circle of life.
I’m in the middle of nowhere on a planet that’s been flicked into space. Wow. What do I really know? A mere evolved ape. Or perhaps something other. Here for a little while. What do I make of it?
I don’t know. Try my best and surrender the rest is what I’m left with.
Pick myself up and move through life without you.
Life is bittersweet. It’s both good and bad. And all else in between.
I have to be strong. I have to be stronger than the loss. I have to accept. Accept impermanence. Accept change.
Time is passing. And with it is going my youth, some of the people around me, my hair line.
After many laps around the sun, you start to learn some things — gain some wisdom.
You gain a lot, you lose a lot. You build but in the end you let it all go.
One of my favorite aunts died last year. The house she bought was left behind. The clothes in her closet cleared away. The car she drove was given to her children.
This life is temporary. It’s all temporary. Some things break down and then we build them again. Yet in the end we keep nothing. So what is it all for? All this striving? All this doing? All this pressure to get it all “right”? The best hair, the nice shoes, the plump lips, the fancy outfits.
What are we all doing?
Why are we over capitalizing on each other to the point we can’t even enjoy this temporary life because we have to rush to a job just to make the payment to the banks for the ridiculously expensive mortgage loan adorned with suffocating interest.
This weekend I saw a Cheetos truck on the highway. So much gas is needed to fill up this truck to transport GARBAGE food into our groceries. What are we eating? What are we being fed?
What are WE DOING!? Is someone out there AWAKE!?
We are co-creating this God damned world here. Is this what you want? To go to debt for schooling, to go to debt to buy a car, to go to debt to buy a house and LIVE OUR WHOLE LIVES SLAVES TO BANKS and their interest payments?
So many cars on the road as we commute to work jobs we don’t even like. WHAT ARE WE DOING?
Are these the jobs we really want?
Are we happy with what we are creating? This is OUR WORLD.
We, together, call the shots. WHAT ARE WE DOING?
I’m pissed. And sometimes feel so damn powerless in the face of it all.
I hope we find a way to make it better. This experience here is temporary. I want to make the best of it and have supportive systems that create ease and peace for people. Not disease, stress, debt, depression, lack, scarcity, fear… what the fuck is going on.
I saw someone share this image below and it was the best thing I saw on the internet yesterday. So I am sharing it here with you.
^ I didn’t create the image I saw someone share it on facebook and I’m sharing it here with you…
Life is hard enough as it is — why don’t we come together to make it better? To make it pleasant?
reflectoutloud.com 