You don’t control if someone loves you

You don’t control if someone stays

I know the tendency is to be hyper vigilant
To want to monitor
To want to be on the lookout for if the person is going to slip, cheat, hide something, lie, do something you wouldn’t want them to do

but is that how you want to live?
If someone is going to do something they want to do, your vigilance isn’t going to make it stop

it’s better to talk about it, in a healthy way
to ask direct questions

To share openly and honestly

to acknowledge that nothing and no one is yours

nothing and no one belongs to you

you are borrowing everything and everything in this life is temporary

you get to experience things and people and events temporarily

everything is slipping away from you each second

and eventually you die

that is what happens

you and this person you’re obsessed with are both going to die

and so will everyone you love and care about

and so will your pets

Everything will pass away eventually

so… what’s the point of freaking out about something that is inevitably going to end anyway?

I don’t mean to get all dark on you

it’s just a reality

We don’t talk about these things but unless you can transfer your consciousness to a robot body or if there is an after life (which who really knows what that’s really like), you will die and all things will change and pass away — right or wrong?

All this is to say… ALLOW what IS to be

Learn to detach and let go when it’s time

Enjoy things and life while you can, as often as you can, for as long as you can

Deal with things with more grace

Hold yourself with more composure

which isn’t to say it isn’t painful

it’s painful if your significant other cheats, lies, flirts with someone else

it’s painful when people pass away

it’s painful when we lose what we love

honor the pain

cry, journal about it, get therapy, feel the hormones course through your body sending uncomfortable signals all through your system — stomach clench, heart race, rage, sadness, powerlessness, ego punched in the face

life sometimes is also like this — merciless, dark, painful, void

But it’s also full of beauty, forgiveness, rebirth, understanding, revival — love.

You gotta take the good with the bad

and realize you don’t always have control

yes sometimes you are powerless and life will bring you to your knees — but not always

Sometimes we just have to surrender

surrender to what IS

We can’t argue with what is and trying to control it and force it to be different isn’t going to change it

you can always talk about it — you can always try

try to make the best of it, try to find the best way forward

but if something isn’t

then — it isn’t