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Reflect Out Loud

"The unexamined life is not worth living." – Socrates

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Motivation

When we were kids we had our parents there to say “No more video games. It’s time to do your homework.” They’d shut off the game, shut off the TV and have your whining, tantrum little self make your way to your desk to get your homework done.

When you didn’t feel like eating your veggies they’d tell you “Nah ah – you gotta eat your veggies.”

When you didn’t feel like waking up in the morning they’d come into your room and make you get up anyway.

When you didn’t want to pick up your toys they’d tell you “Pick up your toys or you can’t play with them next time.”

But now you’re all grown up. No mommy and daddy to tell you “Hey, put down that doughnut and eat your veggies!”

YOU have to be your parent. You have to be your own motivator. Your own guide.

This means that when you don’t feel like going to the gym, that’s when you have to tell yourself “No can do buckaroo, put on those workout clothes, get up, get going!”
This means that when you don’t feel like washing those dishes, you gotta parent yourself saying, “I don’t think so missy/mister – those dishes ain’t gonna wash themselves. Get to it!”

See, it’s not every day that you’re going to feel inspired or motivated to keep up with the tasks necessary to keep your life afloat. But if you want results in any area of your life then CONSISTENCY is key. This means, even when you don’t feel like it – you gotta force yourself to do so. No different than if you were a kid who didn’t feel like doing homework because watching another episode of Spongebob Square Pants would be waaay more interesting.

I know, I get it, you rather be watching Netflix while eating a carton of rocky road ice cream in your pjs rather than running on the treadmill after eating spinach. Me too.
But just because I rather do that doesn’t mean that I should. My parent self has to step in and override the childish, lazy part that just wants to ignore what’s going to take a little more effort out of me.

Consistency. Consistency. Consistency.

It’s not about “feeling like it.”

Stop waiting to fee like it because feelings are not consistent. One day you may feel like it, the next day you might not. That’s too bad. Whether you feel like it or not YOU GOTTA PUSH YOURSELF if you want true results.

Even if you LOVE your job, it’s not every day that you’re going to FEEL like going.
And sure you may call out sick once or twice or take a personal day, but that’s not sustainable on a regular basis.

Not feeling motivated all day every day is normal. We’re human. We get bored. We get lazy. We get into the “I really just don’t feel like doing anything today” mode. And it’s during these times that we have to really go into “robot mode” as I’d like to call it and do shit anyways because it’s in doing that we get results, regardless of whether we feel like it or not.

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Trust Your Unfolding

Try this new method of relating with the circumstances in your life: completely release having to control all the details and timing and just trust that everything will align.

If you’re anything like me then you want everything done yesterday and at the speed of light. You stress and worry about whether or not the things you want will manifest into your life. BUT ENOUGH of living like this. ENOUGH of living under pressure. Wouldn’t life be more fun if you just chilled the F* out? Where are you rushing to? Do you really think that stressing is going to make things happen faster? It’s not. Things will happen at the speed that they will happen whether you stress it or not. So why not chill out and trust the unfolding instead? It’s way more fun this way!

Take the necessary action to get yourself from A to B and then CHILL. Do your part. Whatever that is.

-Wake up early.
-Create a resume.
-Network.
-Research.
-Go to the gym.
-Eat a healthy meal.
-Start that website.
-Create that dating profile.
-Write that blog post.
-Get out of the house and go for a walk.
-Start a savings account.
-Apply to new jobs.
-Tell that person “this relationship is no longer working for me.”

WHATEVER IT IS FOR YOU THAT YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO BE DOING – GO DO IT NOW and WHATEVER RESULT YOU ARE WAITING FOR, TRUST THAT IT WILL MANIFEST.

Co-create your life with the universe.

Release feeling like it’s NOT going to happen. Change that mindset of “I’ll never make it.”

EVERY DAY tell yourself: I AM ABLE TO ACHIEVE ALL MY GOALS. LIFE WORKS IN MY FAVOR. EVERYTHING WILL FALL INTO PLACE.

TRUST!

Take action and release control.
Take action and release control.
Take action and release control.

Trust. Trust. Trust.

SMILE.

Life is working in your favor – STOP LETTING YOUR MIND TELL YOU OTHERWISE.

Start looking at the EVIDENCE that SHOWS you that what you want IS TOTALLY POSSIBLE.

Try this as an experiment: When you see yourself gettin’ all worked up because sh*t’s just not coming together exactly how you want at the speed that you want – BREATHE — and say: I release control in this moment and I relax in the knowing that this is a process and just because it is not in front of me in this PRECISE moment, does not mean that it will NOT happen.

OF COURSE it’s going to work out!
Of COURSE I am going to achieve my goal. I am unfolding into it. I am trusting this journey.
OF COURSE the universe is on my side.
OF COURSE I am loved.
OF COURSE I am capable.
OF COURSE the doors of opportunity will open for me.
OF COURSE my health is going to improve.
OF COURSE I can bounce back from this rejection.
OF COURSE I can heal my wounds.
OF COURSE I can make this change.
OF COURSE I can have a successful business.

OF COURSE! OF COURSE!

YES! YES! YES!

I am here to tell you YES. RELAX BABY! RELAX.
Take aligned action and RELAX.  IT WILL HAPPEN!

Believe with me. Trust with me. Breathe with me. Take the leap with me.

IT WILL HAPPEN!

Do The Damn Thing

Make your suffering count. Pay a price for the life you actually want.


For a long time I have imagined myself as a this great successful person that has helped and touched many lives with inspiring and motivational messages. And then I realized… Oh, I actually have to do something to get to that success. I can’t just sit here on my couch eating McDonald’s expecting Jesus to come down from heaven with a million dollars and a bunch of loving fans for me. I gotta do the damn thing.

And this reality is something pretty scary to face. Whether I fail or succeed is my own doing. I am responsible for my story. I am responsible for what I make of my life. Those chiseled abs I want aren’t just gonna carve themselves. That book I wanna write isn’t just gonna pop into existence. I gotta put in the work. I gotta do the damn thing.

I can fantasize about an abundant, successful career and book but unless I start taking the necessary action and start writing the damn thing it’s never going to come to fruition. It’ll just remain a fantasy.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat here and thought to myself “Oh, I gotta start working on that book.” It’s been over 5 years that I’ve had that thought. And how many pages have I written? 0.

Thoughts and dreams are wonderful things to have. But only actions have actual credibility in the real world.

We have to get honest with ourselves and see what are the actions necessary to create what we want to create and whether or not we are truly willing to put in the sacrifice to make it happen. Even if we are creating something we truly love and are truly passionate about there will still be hard work involved. There will still be a price to pay. There will still be effort and energy to exert. That’s just life.
Even the basic activities in life require energy and effort – like getting out of bed, brushing our teeth, making breakfast, etc…  so why would it be any different when it comes to creating the life and success we know we want to achieve? It’s not different. It’s going to take real effort. It’s going to be painful and really difficult at times – but it’ll be worth it because it’ll bring into existence the results you actually want. So make your suffering count! Suffer for the thing you actually do want and stop suffering for the things you don’t.

*Image credit to pinterest

Ramblings…

“Experience life in all possible ways —
good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light,
summer-winter. Experience all the dualities.
Don’t be afraid of experience, because
the more experience you have, the more
mature you become.”

― Osho

Ramblings

What’s there to talk about? The same old thing, the same old stories.
It’s not really “old” though when I really think about it. Every moment is so unique, decorated in its own way, in its own flavor.

I feel like I am going in circles. Chasing something I can’t even describe.
There is this empty feeling I can’t seem to fill.
It isn’t always there, but it’s there, nonetheless.

I want to be happy. Don’t we all? But there are moments where I’m simply not.
Maybe I am ungrateful. And truth is, at times I really am.
I am over trying to cover up the dark side of my self.
Yes. I lie. I cheat. I envy. I hate. I get jealous. I have negative thoughts.
But that’s not all of who I am.
There’s that childish, innocent side. The side that dreams of love, rainbows and peace.
The side that sees no wrong.

There’s also the in between side. Which is a little of everything. That’s who I really am. All of me.

What’s the point of all this I keep asking myself?
What should I live for?
Do I live to chase money so I can buy houses and cars and clothes that leave an impression on people? Regardless of what I do I’ll leave an impression.
What kind of impression do I want to leave? And do I want to impress you or me or a balance of both?
What kind of person do I want to become? What kind of feelings and experiences do I want to be having? How do I even begin to learn what is truly important to me and how not to live to impress others?

I have a hard time answering these questions because I have a long list of “shoulds” implanted in my brain.

According to whose “shoulds” should I live?

I allow too many people to take space in my head and influence my decisions. I feed energy to too many stories.

I also change a lot which makes it hard to even decide on any one thing.
So I am trying to boil it down to experiences and feelings rather than particular details.

Here’s a list:
I want to experience and feel:
Happiness
Pleasure
Peace
Contentment
Confidence
Trust
Fulfillment
Relax
Laughter
Love
Kindness
Belonging
Creativity

Here are some experiences and feelings I want less of:
Fear
Anxiety
Doom
Panic
Hate
Envy
Pity
Lack
Depression
Loneliness
Rush
Confusion

There’s probably a few more I can add to both the lists but this seems enough for starters.

So now that I’ve narrowed what I want to experience and feel more of… how am I going to go about my life to embrace more of those wants?

Good question.

*image credit to google images

Trust and Persevere

You don’t always have to know all the answers in order to move forward. It’s tempting to want to figure it all out at once; after all, who doesn’t like the safety of the known? You don’t have to know the exact “how,” you just have to trust that with each step you take the next step will be revealed to you. It is like driving a car in the night whose headlights reveal only the necessary distance forward. The more you proceed, the more of the road is shown.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the things you need to do in order to get to where you want to be, start by just breathing and taking one step at a time. What is one thing you can do that will get you closer to your goal? Once that one thing is done, what is a second thing you can do that will get you closer? What is the third, fourth, fifth action?

Take your time. One day at a time. Trust and persevere.

*Image credit to google images.

 

Consistent Actions

A lot of times we don’t achieve the results we desire because we behave in opposition to the results we want to manifest. We say things like “I want a new job,” but don’t fix up our resume and actually apply to new jobs. We say, “I want to lose weight,” then continue to eat unhealthy meals and do little to no exercise. It is no surprise that we keep hitting the same brick wall and remain stuck in the same old story. It is so much easier to just keep doing what we have always been doing because our brains have developed strong neural connections for our current behaviors. Therefore, change, at first, won’t come easy. The moment we start creating new habits, our bodies will naturally want to gravitate back into the old, familiar behaviors. So it is crucial that we be consistent.

Suppose you want to start eating vegetables every day but your body is used to eating bread every day, your bread cravings will naturally surface. Your body will say to you, “OoOh, look at that yummy piece of bread. Wouldn’t it just be amazing to have it with some delicious butter?” Your body will remind you of the salty-sweet, rich smell of bread. It will recall to you how comforting it feels to just bite into that soft piece of deliciousness and how satisfying it makes your belly feel.  If at that moment, right when your old patterns start to creep in, you do not make the conscious decision to say, “BREAD – ALTHOUGH YOU ARE DELICIOUS,  I AM GOING TO EAT SOME BROCCOLI AND CARROTS INSTEAD,” then you will fall back into your old pattern. You have to say “NO” to whatever is against the result you want to achieve. I’ve used bread as an example, (I love me some bread, mmmm) but it’s the same equation with anything else you want to change in your life. The old pattern will creep in and you must interrupt it with the new pattern you want to make habit of.

Real change will happen once you start to take consistent action towards your desired goal. Caveat – you may not always want to take the necessary action to get what you want. You may not always want to get up early before work to go exercise. You may not always want to spend hours in front of your computer to search for new jobs. You may not always want to eat broccoli instead of a Wendy’s burger (mmmmm). It’s not about wanting to. You have to listen to the inner sergeant within you that fiercely commands you, “GET THE HECK UP AND JUST FREAKING DO IT ANYWAY!” Great results require your committed effort on days that you feel like it and on days that you don’t. Even when you don’t really feel like taking action, push yourself. You have to be consistent if you want to see real results. You will be so glad you did!

(Picture credit to Google images)

Go For It!

Without action all we really have is potential.
It’s great to imagine and plan things in life, but it’s even better when you actually put your thoughts and goals into action. Without actions your dreams will remain dreams. It’s so much easier to imagine the ideal job, make wishes upon stars, day dream, fantasize, and wonder how things could be. It’s much harder to actually DO something about it. So we remain stuck in limbo. Boo! That’s no fun place to be.

It is only when we actually start taking steps towards our goals that we begin to see our dreams materialize.  Everything starts with an idea, but it will end with an idea if we don’t do anything about it because ideas without actions are powerless. We have to actually GO FOR IT! LITERALLY, start doing what you want to see change in your life.

You want to lose weight? Stop wishing it, and start to work out. Start small, grow as you go.
You want to change jobs? Work on your resume and send it out to new employers.
Want to create your own business? Research online resources on how to make that happen and get in touch with people who have successfully done so already and who can help you along your journey.
Want to learn a new language? Sign up for a class whether online or at a school.
Whatever it is – DO IT. NO EXCUSES!
Whatever excuse you come up with for not following your dreams, come up with a solution to replace it and GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE HAPPEN IN YOUR LIFE. Put your noggin to good use and find solutions for your excuses and TAKE ACTION TODAY!

It is only through action that you are going to actually get anything done for yourself. No one else is going to come take over your body and do things for you – YOU GOTTA DO IT YOURSELF.

There is no point in sitting there wallowing in self-pity, feeling bad because things aren’t happening for you. Newsflash – things aren’t going to really happen for you if you’re just sitting there doing nothing about it. It’s great to dream, but dreams don’t just pop into reality outta nowhere – you actually have to DO something about it.

Today I purchased a planner and have decided to become a more powerful me. A me that is going to take action in life in order to see my goals manifest into reality. I am going to save myself through my actions!

Save yourself. GO FOR IT!