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Magic?

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where is the magic?? Really.

I’m waiting for it.
I’m praying for it.
I’m hoping for it.

I’m waiting for that moment where it all comes together

Where I wake up and this whole experience of being limited, stuck in a body, stuck in a place, stuck in this “life” was just a dream

because in reality we are magic

it’s all magic

there is no barrier

no limitation

Everything just flows

It’s all easy

It all makes sense

but are we really just animals that evolved over time due to a big bang that generated all that we see today?

Is there something actually and truly really special here orrrr are we just a bunch of meaningless specs of dirt that pass away with time — and then it all ends? This is your one and only opportunity to live?

I don’t know either way

but my hope is that at the end of the day it’s all beautiful

it’s all good

….

I want to see the magic

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SUS

Don’t you think reality is kinda sus?

Sus meaning SUSPICIOUS

But not suspicious in a bad way — but more like having REASON TO QUESTION – reason to WONDER — WTF is going on here?

Like tell me how I have these perfectly crafted hands, with these perfectly crafted veins that tell my blood where to go. Blood– this curious fluid flowing through my body like I’m a lava lamp…

My eyes… Have you ever taken a hot moment to really observe the intricacies of the eyeball — FINE work.

Now just observe everything else….

The ocean, a flower, a tree, the stars, the moon, the fucking wind, all the bugs of the Earth and their weird and wonderfully shaped bodies that scare the shit out of me….

Honestly, just everything — have you stopped to just LOOK at EVERYTHING

and then not think WTF is going on here?

How is it possible that there isn’t something INCREDIBLY special (or at the very minimum curious/worth wondering) about LIFE, EXISTENCE, REALITY!?

I have an incredibly complex, intelligent body – I’m a thinking being typing on a fucking laptop living on a “ROCK” floating in space

HOW IS THAT NOT FASCINATING TO THE POINT OF MAKING YOUR BRAIN EXPLODE?

(Metaphorically speaking of course… no brains harmed in the reading of these words — hehe)

But seriously,

WTF is going on?

What is this and what are we doing???

There is clearly something incredible going on here and certainly worth paying attention to

I think it’s harder to argue that this is all a bunch of senseless, meaningless nonsense than it is to argue that there is something worthy of investigation here… Something is up

SOMETHING IS UP

SOMETHING IS <<<

That’s HUGE

That’s insane

That’s just WOW

There didn’t NEED to be something but there IS!!!

(Well, assuming that there didn’t *need to be something is debatable — but there could just as easily never been anything — right? Why is it the case that there IS rather than ISN’T?)

Anyway…

There’s something else I wanted to say

but I kind of forgot what my original purpose of writing tonight was…

the original post was supposed to be titled “EVERYTHING”

because I wanted to ramble on about a bunch of other stuff —

But what was it??

I can’t remember

I’ll have to circle back to it later

Anyway — if you made it to this point — WOW, you’re the real MVP 🙂

You are the real special person who out of ALL the infinite fucking possibilities, made itself to this very moment. And wow…

That amazes me 🙂

Thank you

I love you

Let’s be kind to one another

Let’s make this a beautiful world

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human

Suddenly it dawned on me… we’re all just human

made of the same stuff…

the people I look up to — the celebrities, the speakers, the doctors, the scientists, the artists; the ones with the skills, talents, wisdom, businesses, houses, fancy charcuterie boards and stuff — they are just human

like me…

That realization both scares me and astonishes me

Do any of us actually know wtf is going on here?

Who do you look at for real answers when we are all just as clueless as the other?

We have theories, ideas, and beliefs about what is happening

but who really KNOWS?

*sigh*

If it’s up to us and only us then we’ve got some serious shit to look at

are we consuming too quickly and are we living sustainably?

what systems are ineffective and what needs to be improved — EVERYWHERE, for EVERYONE

if there is no God or higher intelligence who is going to come to save/help us or intervene when necessary and we just so happen to be an evolutionary process that developed by chance then what does that mean!?

If it’s up to us then who is taking accountability to help?

if it’s up to us and only us then if we don’t collectively get our shit together we could fuck our selves

do you want to be fucked by your own poor choices?

I don’t

So what conversations do we need to be having to sustain ourselves and create a pleasant reality for living beings to enjoy?

This is just a reflection, not a sign to panic

but also a good thing for us to think about

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Reality Codes

Everything that is is embedded with a code which represents its existence.

Everything that is is embedded with fact.

There is a Truth that is beyond argument. This truth is THE TRUTH. Meaning, the fact of that which is.

If something is then it holds an inherent truth.

Just because we don’t know the truth does not mean it’s not there. It’s like uncharted land.

There is an ultimate Fact. While I may not know what this Fact is given my limited intellect, what I do know is that there is an Answer, because the answer is inseparable from existence in itself. The Answer is encoded in reality. But I do not have the mental capacity to compute it. Perhaps, however, there is another way.

But I have arguments against this “other way,” because it’s through experience. But experience alone, I believe, is not sufficient proof. As experience is subjective.

But perhaps if I knew, and you knew too, and we all could know simultaneously through experience – ultimate computation, meaning we’d factor ourselves into the equation because only by inclusion could we really know the size of how grand it all is, could we then arrive at a conclusion.

Hm.

Something to think about.

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Reflecting… Out Loud

Who has the answers?
Is it you — girl in the corner twirling a charcoal pencil between your fingers, arched over the sketches of portraits in your high waist jeans and blue 1970’s vest draped over a loosely fitted, eggshell button down shirt?

I woke up from a different version of a dream I had during my childhood:
Jesus comes back and I am left behind.

I see an expansive white light cutting through the fabric of space revealing light shaped figures of men in horses. In the moment it was clear what was separate from the light. And I, left behind, on the other side of the light, suddenly struggled with the realization that I was wrong. I chose wrong. As I frantically fought my way through unfamiliar people and objects in attempt to approach the light to plead that “I didn’t know any better,” my awareness beyond the dream state chimed in saying, “This can’t be right. This has to be a dream.”

WTF…

This week I’ve been contemplating “what’s the point?”

Well. That’s actually a common contemplation of mine.

But it’s more often been in the forefront of my mind the question of “What truly is the point of all this and what is the right answer?” If there is no “right” answer, how do I really know that’s true? How much more right is it to say “There is a right answer” vs. “There is no right answer?” when we don’t have ultimate proof of either.

Sigh.

Let’s talk about psychedelic experiences for a moment. 
Are they real? Or are they simply your brain responding to powerful chemicals? Nothing truly mystical or magical here – only your brain having a response to a disruption in its normal neural circuitry which manifests itself in symptoms like disassociation, distorted vision, distorted sense of time,  blended perception of senses, (seeing colors, tasting sounds), visual hallucinations, among others.  
When we have a psychedelic experience are we tapping into some real, alternate realm? Is there REALLY AND TRULY some other dimension where there are beings of forms beyond the earth existing?
Or is it just your brain making these things up in response to a drug and then people come out of it thinking it’s real when it’s just as fake as a Hollywood movie?

What do you make of the works by Alex Grey?

What is true about the nature of reality?
Do the people who promote the law attraction have it right?
Are we really just energy and we can manifest anything we want into our life simply by becoming a vibrational match?
Sometimes these thoughts scare me. Because if this is true, I am fucked. My thoughts can go to some pretty dark places and the last thing I need is to manifest them into reality.

Co-relation does not mean causation.  

Who really knows whats going on here?
Is it the Scientists? The Christians? The Buddhists? The Quantum Physicists?
Can someone please tell me – why? For what am I here? 
Why is there something rather than nothing?

Does this all truly matter in the end? Or is it truly meaningless? 
Which is it?
What even is “the end?” Is there life beyond this?

If I knew, would I be satisfied with the answer? 
How would I know that I know?

How can I truly know something?

I have my basic senses to guide me. But they’re not enough. There is so much that they do not detect. And my intellect is that of a mere, average human. 

Maybe I’ll never know. What if this “I’ll never know” attitude is what stops me from ever digging to find out? 

Why do I even care?

I wish I didn’t.

I wish I was someone who didn’t care.
Someone who could just live their life in peace. Not feeling the need to seek anything. To know anything. 

Someone like the girl in the corner twirling the charcoal pencil between her fingers.

 

 

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Passionate Rant

I spent about an hour arguing with my brother about how I don’t believe that Christianity or the Bible is the TRUTH – as he, and so many others preach.

Please, if you’re Christian or religious and are reading this, I really don’t mean any disrespect. Quite contrary, I value your right and freedom to believe whatever feels right to you. All I am saying is that I do not feel like this religion is right, or true, for me.

I think people should be able to believe whatever they want if it makes them truly happy and if it resonates with them personally. I just get annoyed when people (particularly my brother and mother this evening) make condemning statements  like “Oh, one day you’ll see. We will pray for you. Judgment day will come and you’ll regret not having listened.”

djadhfiuhfguxhdfuyatfdldjfkvxjvh!!!!!! UGH. Comments like that make me want to roll my eyes so hard they disappear into a black hole.

And then the fact that I get annoyed by their remarks makes me sad. Because it points to me that I clearly need more patience. Like why am I getting all worked up by someone’s silly perspective of how my life will end?

I can’t help it at times and I just get annoyed with the close mindedness. Then I close off. But I want to work on that. Be more patient with their perspectives – even if I don’t agree. I want to be able to have deep respect and appreciation for people’s thoughts and feelings – even when they contradict my own. I want to be fair and listen, even when I don’t agree.

*Breathes*

I was born into Christianity and at one point I deeply believed it was THE TRUTH – until I explored my mind and the world more and discovered that my boxed idea of reality wasn’t quite fitting to my free spirit self. I am a HUGE advocate for freedom and free will. I am also a huge advocate for LOVE AND KINDNESS AND PEACE and there is just absolutely NO FREAKING WAY I am going to sit here and spend my life believing in a God that sends people to burn for eternity. THAT IS CRAZY!! Me, a mere human, would NEVER want to condemn anyone to suffer like that (even if I had the total power to), and why would a loving God do that?

I’m sorry dudes, I just can’t accept that. Why would I want to worship a being who would be so cruel to beautiful, precious, human lives? I don’t care if you’re a psycho killer dude, I would never want to throw you into a fire for eternity – and much less just your average Joe trying to lead a normal, good, atheist life.

I am rambling – but seriously, my brother’s Christian God is one who is soooo freakin’ petty that he’s like “Even though you lived a descent life, was kind to others, paid your bills on time, never got into any trouble, always did the best you can but because you SIMPLY did not believe in my son, Jesus, I am going to have you sentenced to an eternity in hell. See ya!”

oidajfsdfhsfugtgcuycgducsiuh;diohd;oih!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU HEAR HOW RIDICULOUS THAT IS!!!???

It’s simply OUTRAGEOUS!

ANOTHER THING THAT REALLY GETS ME GOING IS….

Ok, dude, you’re God – and you can do ANYTHING. Literally. ANYTHING. And the best possible plan you could come up with to save humanity is to send a human baby into the world to undergo all kinds of general human struggles, only later to get beaten and crucified to save the world?? SERIOUSLY DUDE? That’s your grand plan?
ME – A FREAKING DUMBASS HUMAN, could think of a better plan. Like sheesh, I dunno – WHY NOT SNAP MY FINGER AND JUST DECLARE HUMANITY SAVED – YOU’RE GOD, HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

And what’s worst is that he’s “saving” us from a condemnation HE HIMSELF created by telling us that if we don’t follow HIS WAY, HIS RULES then we’re basically fucked.

AND… There’s more that pisses me off about this religion….

FIRST OF ALL – I didn’t ask to exist, dude. And now that I do, I have to abide by some ridiculous ass rules or else I am doomed. WHAT KIND OF FREAKING FREE WILL IS THAT? IT ISN’T!
There’s no free will if the only choice is to abide by X Y Z rules OR ELSE.
Why can’t I have my own rules? Rules that feel right to me personally? Like, I dunno, don’t eat special brownies and drive – but definitely eat special brownies and have make out sessions while looking at the stars and being free to believe or not believe and it DOESN’T MATTER because GOD, if there is one, isn’t trying to judge your every freaking move and just allows you to BE.

Okay.

Passionate rant over.

On a side note…

I will be starting a Reflect Out Loud YouTube Channel! And I will definitely speak on this topic more elaborately, and again! Among other content that crosses my mind and may hopefully serve the world in some way.

Thank you for following me on this rant. And on my journey. I am sorry if I offended anyone. But seriously, dude – I really rather believe that if there is a God (which I HAVE NO CLUE EITHER WAY) that IT is SOOOOO LOVING and is in everything, and everyone and there is nothing we need to do, be, have, get because there are no real rules and it really doesn’t matter. So make the best of it and live a life you’re happy with.

Something like that.

(Passionate rant officially over)

 

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Winds

I stand at the top of the mountain looking forward to see the great expanse that lies in front of me. I stretch my arms out to embrace the air that gingerly dances around my body and plays tag with my skin – I am it. The temperature is perfect – not too hot, not too cold. I close my eyes and breathe you in. All of you. My heart pulses to the fire sweet rhythm of my soul.

I am still in love with you.
Your invisible presence never leaves, even when I am red hot coal. Even as I burst like a firecracker in early July.

My instinct is to fall blindly into your arms. To swirl like the galaxies and flow eternally like a petal lost in the winds.

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A Prayer For The Suffering

A Prayer for the Suffering

God. Life. Universe. Energy. Higher power. Source. Whatever, if anything, is out there help those who suffer. All who suffer, may their pain be removed. May peace reign on Earth. May health abound. May food abound. May joy abound. May peace abound. May hearts be whole and minds tranquil. Awaken our hearts and mind. Liven our spirits. May humanity prosper in love. Love come over us and wash away the pain.
Love come over us and wash away the hurt.
Shine light on our consciousness.
Bring peace to our homes.
Love we welcome you.
Love may you reign.
Help us. Help us.
Let love reign.

In love, may it be so. Amen. Amen.

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The “Word” of God is Not Limited to The Bible

Disclaimer: Dear reader, this post is coming from the most genuine place of my heart and has zero intention of denying anyone’s knowledge, but rather including everyone’s knowledge to produce harmony by way of unity.

Believing that the Bible is the full and complete word of God is very limiting. First, because the word of God is so infinitely and immeasurably grand that a book is insufficient to contain it. Secondly, because words are extremely limiting and not adequate basis with which to measure the fullness of God.

Everything that IS, is the “word” of God.
The “word” of God isn’t even words to begin with, though it may in part be experienced through words.

To conceive of God through the notions of one book alone means to limit God. To understand more of God we must be able to allow ALL forms of information and knowledge to pass through our consciousness.

When we open a Biology book and we begin to learn about cells, organisms, life, the human body, among other biological aspects, for instance, we are coming into contact with more of the word of God. When we read a chemistry book and we learn about molecules, atoms, elements, chemicals – we are learning more of the word of God.

How do you know when the water has boiled and at what temperature? The Bible does not tell us – but a science book does. And a science book, too, is the word of God.

When we learn about technology and how planes fly, how cars move, how our cellphones operate – the Bible will not tell us this – but a mechanics, physics, and technology book can.  And this too, is the word of God.

How does the optometrist know how to perform laser surgery to restore eye sight? Does he read the Bible to figure it out? No. He reads books on the subject matter of eye surgery. This, too, is the word of God.

When you put together your Ikea furniture, do you read the Bible or the manual? You read the manual. This, too, is the word of God.

ALL information – past, present, future is the word of God. There is nothing that exists outside of the “word” of God. ALL THAT IS IS THE WORD OF GOD.

We must not exclude anything because to exclude any one thing is to limit the unlimited. The unlimited contains EVERYTHING. So to take only one tiny book and claim that it alone is the word of God is EXTREMELY limiting and I urge you to open your understanding and come to see that God is not limited by books. God is not limited by words.

Words are just sounds we make with our mouths as so to communicate ideas which we have formulated by way of experience. We must use the words as pointers for our expansion, not limits that constrain our growth and hinder our full understanding of the universe.

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