Is it better to know or not know?
To know or not to know… that is the question.
Lately I’ve been thinking that perhaps ignorance truly is bliss.
All I’ve ever wanted was to know: What is this? Why are we here? What is going on?
But now I wonder if not knowing is what makes it all the fun.
I took an improv class where a group of us learned a few basic introductory improv skills. It was hilarious and so much fun. That same week I ended up watching an Improv show– the first set being performed by skilled improvisers, the second set by less so. The second group used techniques I learned and was exposed to earlier in the week. I wasn’t as surprised by the second show because I knew what they were doing.
I imagine that others who had never been exposed to the behind the scenes were simply entertained and less aware of the techniques. So it dawned on me… is it better to not know?
Is it better to just be in blissful awe of this life experience vs knowing what’s actually behind it?
I don’t know.
I am beginning to reduce my dire need to know.
All I ever wanted was to know.
Now…I don’t know that I want to know.
Plus I’m deluding myself anyway thinking I could truly know…or could I?
I don’t know…
I am a ball of confusion.
I see same digits every day without planning to. 1:11, 11:11, 12:12, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 10:10. These are the most common. Which is basically all of them. Except 5:55, which I think I see less of. I always feel happy when I see them. I hear some say that they are messages from the universe. Are they? I don’t know. I would really like it to be.
I don’t know how to really draw the line between what is truly real and what is man made mumbo jumbo. I wish I could know. I really do.
I have trouble at times feeling really confident in any one belief because I feel like everything is always changing. For example, if I believe in this X now, 1 second from now this X is not the same because it’s now one second old – it has changed (even if at a minuscule level) since its original time. So how can I become grounded in any one thing if all things are changing moment by moment?
I hate it. I hate that I get so confused by it all and that I just don’t know it all.
Some say that we should become satisfied with not knowing. Are we giving up by saying it’s enough not to know? If you could know, wouldn’t you want to? I would.
If I had a choice I would choose knowledge.
But that’s my personal choice.
But, of course, until then, I’ll just settle for not knowing. For wondering. For exploring.
For having enough, for now.
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