I can only imagine her pain…
Someone I know who I was recently smiling and taking selfies at the park with has lost her 17 year old daughter in a tragic car accident. How could we ever have predicted this moment 2 weeks ago. Don’t you wish you could turn back time and change things? Change outcomes?
GAH. The ache.
I’ve been sitting deeply with this topic of impermanence. The passage of time. Death.
I’ve come here to this space to share about it with you a few times.
Because friends, you and I are already dead.
Time and space is just catching up.
Why aren’t we talking about this loudly and wildly? Why are we walking around like zombies taking this whole experience for granted? Taking it all too serious.
Why are our systems not serving us? Why are we turning housing into a commodity to the point we labor just to generate PAPER for a structure that is already created to feed a system that is keeping our energy in survival mode?
WHY AREN’T WE USING OUR ENERGY TO CREATE HEAVEN ON EARTH?
Why aren’t we thinking about how we actually want to contribute to the planet to make it an epic experience vs how can I just make money?
Why aren’t we asking the big questions and solving the big problems?
Why aren’t we doing work that MAKES SENSE for the sake of having a WORLD WE WANT TO WAKE UP TO EACH DAY and contribute to?
YOU AND I ARE GOING TO DIE.
We need to wake up each day as if it were our last. Love like it was the last time. Enjoy our meal like it was the last. BECAUSE IT MAY VERY WILL BE.
Love. Forgive. Give. Help. Be kind. Be good. Make the art. Write the book. Post the content. Heal.
Leave the world better than you found it. It’s up to you and me. No one else.
No. Don’t point the finger at anyone else. YOU be good. You be kind. You do the right thing. ME be good. ME be kind. ME do the right thing. And if we each do this, we will see the ripple effect.
Ask questions.
Make noise. Don’t just PAY MORE RENT. Say NO to rental increases. Say NO to injustice.
—
Anyway.
That is my venting my own pain.
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I can be so naive at times it borderlines stupid.
It comes from this very innocent place.
I assume people are good. I can easily get lost in fantasy. I am a dreamer. I get excited easy.
But, then, enters reality. It is harsh, unforgiving — cold. Reality is riddled with facts; how things actually are vs how I imagine them beautifully, magically, wonderfully in my head.
The other day I was at yoga and I had this sad feeling come over me. It was the feeling of loss of innocence. I’ve carried so much hope in my heart for so long and I’m afraid life is hardening me. After the news of another dear friend passing away, I am again smacked in the face by ruthless realities. That same evening I had a dream about a puppy falling on rocks and I couldn’t save it, so it died. The dream felt like a reminder of this loss of innocence I’ve been feeling. Like the child-like wonder that’s lived in me for so long is slowly being chipped away by the blows of life. A tiny little part of me keeps on thinking, “even so, I must continue to believe. I mustn’t lose hope. I must not forget the magic.”
Sigh.
I had a woman pray for me at church this morning. In her prayer she mentioned how while in this in between phase, while we are still in our human form, waiting for the return of Christ who will wipe away the darkness and return us to the light, it can feel really difficult. I do hope there is light at the end of all of this. I suppose that’s why they call it faith, right?
Mmm. Perfect peace, unity and harmony with the divine.
I am afraid to hope though. Because I’ve been hoping but disappointments keep happening. Maybe it’s because we are here in this “3D”, human world? I don’t know. I’ll keep trusting, even in my doubt. This little part within, however tainted, is still going strong.
I was watching a Netflix show about Bryan Johnson, the millionaire trying not to die. Have you heard of him? I am very intrigued by his work. I am so happy SOMEONE is having this conversation.
If we were able to beat death — would you want to? What does it actually even mean to die anyway? When a person dies does their consciousness die too or does it live in the ether somewhere like a radio wave or energetic force?
So many questions…
Suddenly it dawned on me… we’re all just human
made of the same stuff…
the people I look up to — the celebrities, the speakers, the doctors, the scientists, the artists; the ones with the skills, talents, wisdom, businesses, houses, fancy charcuterie boards and stuff — they are just human
like me…
That realization both scares me and astonishes me
Do any of us actually know wtf is going on here?
Who do you look at for real answers when we are all just as clueless as the other?
We have theories, ideas, and beliefs about what is happening
but who really KNOWS?
*sigh*
If it’s up to us and only us then we’ve got some serious shit to look at
are we consuming too quickly and are we living sustainably?
what systems are ineffective and what needs to be improved — EVERYWHERE, for EVERYONE
if there is no God or higher intelligence who is going to come to save/help us or intervene when necessary and we just so happen to be an evolutionary process that developed by chance then what does that mean!?
If it’s up to us then who is taking accountability to help?
if it’s up to us and only us then if we don’t collectively get our shit together we could fuck our selves
do you want to be fucked by your own poor choices?
I don’t
So what conversations do we need to be having to sustain ourselves and create a pleasant reality for living beings to enjoy?
This is just a reflection, not a sign to panic
but also a good thing for us to think about
reflectoutloud.com 