Do you ever miss someone you don’t even know yet?
Like there is something or someone out there you are longing for?
From time to time I get this feeling.
As if the peak of my experience hasn’t arrived yet. So I live here craving this other moment in the future I know is waiting for me. Or more accurately said, delusionally believe is waiting for me.
I was walking to the farmers market today and this feeling of monotony came over me. It reminded me of the fact that you meet someone, you fall in love, it’s romantic for a bit but then the reality of life sets in. The normalcy. The walking down the street together to run the same old errands. The sitting on the couch. The noises he makes when he’s eating and the dirty clothes that are left on the floor. The romance fades. The butterflies. The fantasy.
Everything just becomes… normal.
Do you think sometimes we create drama out of boredom?
I mean once you’ve got the house, the partner, the garden, the car, the travel – then what?
I don’t know…
Sigh.
I miss you.
Some moments are better than others.
I prefer when we’re driving in the car on a sunny day blasting our favorite music on our way to an adventure.
But it’s in the mundane moments when I’m forced to entertain tasks that I rather not be doing that I find true appreciation for my favored moments.
It’s through the cold that I find appreciation for the warmth.
It’s through the dark night that I find appreciation for the day light.
The secret is in being okay with what is. To stop longing for more than what is.
Sure, I rather not have to stand in a long line at the supermarket at a moment when my bladder is full and my stomach is empty making me feel crabby.
Sure, I rather not have to sit in a dentist chair, mouth wide open while sharp metal objects poke at my teeth.
Sure, I rather not have to read 50 pages of a boring chapter in an overpriced textbook the professor chose to assign.
Sure, I rather not have to clean the tomato sauce I accidentally spilled all over the floor also shattering the mason jar it was held in into pieces.
These unsavory moments are also part of life.
Fighting them, wanting to escape, only adds to the uneasy feeling of yearning to be in those moments where it feels like “Ahhhh. Yes. This is it.”
But this is life. And it is both up, down, dark, light, exciting, mundane, and everything in between.
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