Search

Tag

sad

Sad

“I’m sad”
This thought follows me around like a shadow

I think it almost every day

It comes in waves – randomly

And you know what – it’s true

because I am sad

I’m sad for all the things that aren’t “right”
Everywhere in the world

I’m sad for the children who suffer
For the parents who don’t know any better
For the hungry
For the poor
For the violence
For the things that go wrong
For the heartbreaks
For the deaths
For the loss
For the sick
For the worker who works so damn hard but STILL can barely get by
For the people who are doing too many drugs because they’re trying to numb the pain
For the wrongs we commit against each other
For the voices that never get heard
For the pain and the suffering that living beings endure
For the mistakes we make
For the times we lie
For the fear and anxiety we experience
For all the bullshit – you name it
Just insert it here _____________ < yes, I’m sad about that too.

And then I’m sad that I can’t do anything about it – I mean I can do something – a little something, but it feels like any little thing I do is so meaningless in the face of the beast of it all

But I don’t wanna be negative and think that my trying has no impact

Look at Martin Luther King — he did something
He stood up for his dream, now look at the ripple of effect of his choice — his choice to believe against the injustice, against the oppression, against the violence and the bullshit

Look at Rosa Parks
Look at the women he fought for our rights and now we get to vote
Look at the people who stood up for peace, for love, for unity, for respect, for communication, for harmony, for health, for that which is GOOD

I don’t know man….

And then I think about my own little life — my own bullshit — the me me me
the I wanna travel and drink my latte on the beach reading a book — LIKE BITCH, there are children dying in Africa and you wanna do WHAT now?

There’s this weight I feel on my shoulder sometime
this desire to help and make a difference
while also feeling so small and limited by my own bullshit

SIGH

SIGH

SIGH

Who am I to even try….
What am I even supposed to do?
What can I even start doing?

I could donate…
I could try to be kind in my community and hope that it ripples
I could try to educate….

I hate the word TRY, cuz trying doesn’t sound like actually DOING anything

Anyway, that’s my sad ass rant about the sad ass things in life that make me sad

I’m also grateful and hopeful
and do believe that a little goes a long way
and that together we can make a difference
we can heal, and figure this shit out

because how the fuck are we okay with hurting one another rather than helping and elevating each other?

Life on Earth can be so amazing if we stop with the bullshit, mature the F up and collaborate…

but God, that even sounds like a defeating task — especially when we consider how different everyone and everything really is on a global scale — But SO MUCH is already WORKING that we have to have faith that we CAN find harmony and we can improve the systems and life on Earth so we can reduce the bullshit and the suffering

and then we can be less sad

EGO

There’s this deep sadness I feel sometimes
Because despite life being awe inspiring, beautiful and filled with lovely moments…
I can’t ignore the other side of the coin

Death, pain, suffering, ignorance, immaturity, injustice, sickness, wrong doings, _______ <insert bad thing here.

The other night I woke up from a bad dream
and I was flooded with tears

Tears because of the loss I’ve experienced in the past
and for the loss I’ll experience in the future.
For all the suffering on this planet
and for how small I feel sometimes in the face of it all.

I had a thought come up about needing to “let go of my ego”…

Something that feels like a recurring lesson

Saying “I’m sorry”
Acknowledging where I’m at fault and how I’m contributing to my problems
Owning up to my mistakes rather than fighting to be right

Not easy to say “I’m sorry” during moments I rather be a brat and stick up for my side of the story.


Sometimes I dance between ideals and apathy
Seeing the beauty and miracle that is life
yet also seeing the ugly and merciless hands of time that takes it all away

I think about my mom sometimes
her aging…
how much she struggled and how I wish I could give her a castle, and everything she could ever dream of

How I wish I could give you the world
How I wish I could save the world
How I wish things were different

How powerless I feel as a spec in an infinite universe

What do you want from me?
I’m here… to die 😦

Sad

You have every right to be sad

About the love that didn’t work

About your career moving so slow

about the tragedies in the world

about the sickness

about your team losing

about the family member who died

about your hair thinning and the cavity on your tooth

about the fact that you are aging and losing your youthful look

about the fact that at the end of the day we all just end up dead

That is the story

the truth is, that despite life’s many beauties, love and wonders — the story of life, is actually one that does not have a happy ending 😦

It’s sad

Suffering

Life has its beautiful moments
but it also serves us a fair share of suffering

This post is to acknowledge the suffering

Today I find myself in tears
thick, warm droplets stream down my cheeks
paper towels soaked of the storms from my eyes
though I can’t identify exactly why

But if I tried to explain why it would sound a little something along the lines of: existential dread combined with feeling lost, pressures of needing to be productive yet feeling suffocated creatively, while also recovering from being sick this week

Having been sick this week has once again reminded me of the finitude of life
That life is unpredictable and fragile
That our destination is to each day age some more and each day get closer to death

And I just want to take a moment to acknowledge that it’s sad to be sick
It’s sad when we go through moments of struggle

It’s sad when we see the people we love struggle, age, get sick and die

It’s sad going through loss
It’s sad going through heart break
It’s sad losing the things you’ve worked so hard for
It’s sad going through financial struggles
It’s sad when things are sad


Existence also comes with sadness


So I’d like to take a moment to sit with the sadness
and to admit that life isn’t just beautiful
It’s also hard… and it’s also sad

-Meseeks, photo credit to illustrators of Rick and Morty

death

I feel like death is something we don’t talk much about

So I wanna talk about it…
because it’s something that is lurking to find us all at some point or another

it’s a strange thing…
we never really know when it’s coming

It makes me sad when I think about it
When I think about life slipping away

I’m doing all this work for it all to just be taken away by the hands of time


One day I will have to say good bye to my body,
good bye to my life and everything I’ve created

what a harsh truth to swallow

nothing is ever ours
NOTHING

so stop thinking anything is truly yours, “my boyfriend, my car, my house, my dog”
yours nothing… everything passes, everything fades — you keep nothing.

Some say there is an after life
Some say we reincarnate
Some say you go to heaven or hell
Some say there is some in between place — purgatory
Some say you die and that’s it — that’s the end

I say — I don’t know what happens, because I really freakin’ don’t…

Is there a chance my consciousness can live without a physical body? If so, for how long?

Even if my consciousness can be transferred to a different host, this body that I now possess will eventually give out. I will have to let go.

It makes me sad to think of myself getting old
To think of my body not being as strong, not as attractive

It makes me sad to think of my loved ones passing away

It makes me sad to think of letting go

This death thing, man… it’s quite a topic to reflect on

The other day as I walked home from the beach I sort of dissociated for a moment as I looked around me at people passing by… some waiting for the light to turn… other’s standing in a corner among themselves talking… a family going for a stroll — isn’t it weird we are all strangers to each other? Just a bunch of strangers crossing the same street. We live on this planet together, but we ignore each other and just keep walking by.

that same day I had a weird thought come through — “we’re all just waiting to die.”

Death, that is our destination.

We go about our lives not really talking about this.
We are born, we experience some things, and at some point we die — death — that is what you’re amounting to.

What exactly is death?

Is it when the body can no longer function in support of your consciousness?

Is time travel a possibility? Could we come back to the same point in time? What is the nature of reality?

I love this being that I am — I would hate to never see her again.

😦

death…
sigh

this topic makes me deeply sad
and it makes me wonder, if ultimately my life just ends, am I making it worth it?

am I loving enough
laughing enough
dancing enough
exploring enough
enjoying enough
or am I too worried about how I look and how much I’ve acquired that I am missing the opportunity to truly live?

damn, idk
lot’s to think about

Mean

I said mean things to you and I’m sorry. Underneath I’m just so scared to tell you how I really feel because if you knew I loved you then you’d run.

I toss between giving in too much and holding back.

I hate being in this place. Of wanting so much to say I love you, mean it, show you, and have it be returned.

You say mean things to me too. You make me anxious. Nervous. And unsure of myself.

I can’t always tell if it’s coming from me or coming from you. If you’re the one who makes me feel this way or if it’s within me.

I was so happy at first. Thinking everything I’ve wanted I had found in such a magical, coinciding way.

And now I’m unsure. I don’t know. And I’m just sitting here feeling sad, lost, and confused.

I Wonder…

I wonder… are we addicted to feeling sad? scared? worried?
Because it feels too weird being happy.
It feels too weird to let our guard down.
Because letting our guard down, letting our system relax, means danger could be lurking at any corner.

We must be on hyper-vigilance. Looking out for any possible threat.
Interpreting every detail. Staying two-three steps ahead of the game just to be safe.

Can’t let anybody fool me.
Can’t let myself get hurt.
Can’t let them try to pull a fast one on me.
Can’t let myself stay behind on the race.

Are these the kind of thoughts that are keeping us stuck?
Because we are afraid to swim in peace because you never know when a shark is gonna come out from under and just rip your feet apart when you stop looking?

Am I just too scared to let go and truly be happy? Truly start seeing miracles literally unfold right before my eyes?

Is that too crazy?

Is there something actually really beautiful happening right now but I am just too scared, too “real,” too worried to see it?

What would have happened if I actually let go that night? If I actually allowed myself to truly love you? If I wasn’t scared to say yes. If I wasn’t trying to run away. Would I have turned around and seen the light? Because there would have been no better moment in my life.

What If I were to swim without fear. Walk without fear. Dance without fear. Laugh without fear. Speak without fear. Breathe without fear. Play without fear. Simply exist without fear.

What would that look like?
What would that be like?

YOU CAN DO IT

There is no point in crying or being sad about not having enough knowledge in a subject or about not being skilled enough in a particular field. I mean, if you want to go be sad about it for two seconds – fine, mope if need be. But don’t stay stuck feeling sorry for yourself for too long because it just doesn’t serve you in any good way. If you realize there is something you aren’t good at, say math, for instance – feeling ashamed or bad for yourself isn’t going to help you improve your math skills. Instead, buy a book on basic math principles. Go on YouTube and type in “math for beginners.” Reach out to friends who can help. Reach out to tutors and teachers. Do something that will actually help you improve your skills rather than sit there and feel like a moron. You’re not a moron. You have the capability to learn anything you put your mind to. Be patient with yourself as you learn a new skill. You didn’t learn to walk and talk in a day, so don’t expect to be an expert at any one thing in a day. Take your time to learn at your own pace and in your own way. Don’t worry about what other people are doing and how much more or less they know compared to you. Focus on you. Focus on the skill you want to improve without comparing yourself to anyone else.
Know that…
You can learn.
You can improve yourself.
You can accomplish your goals.
You are intelligent.
You are capable.

So less moping and complaning and more searching and learning ;).

There is Nothing Bad About You

Allowing yourself to be means accepting all of you. Even the parts you believe are “bad,” “inappropriate” or “scary.”

For so long I have been trying to deny the darker aspects of my personality. For so long I have been telling myself that it’s not okay to feel sad or mad or angry. I would tell myself that there is something wrong with me because I feel sad often times. I would see myself as a problem when I became angry or upset. I would try hard to change my feelings and to deny my tears with a smile. It is common that when I tell people “I am sad” they respond with something like “don’t be sad,” as if being sad is wrong and something that we shouldn’t experience.
But I am learning that my feelings are valid. All of them. I am learning that my body works in my favor and that my feelings exist to communicate with me.
When I am sad, rather than resisting my sadness, I have to allow my sadness to be. I must allow myself to be sad without feeling sad that I am sad. Feeling sad that I am sad or beating myself up for experiencing “negative” feelings only adds to my negative feeling. It is like throwing more wood, or in this case emotion, into the fire.

Are you sad?

Ok. Good.
It is okay to be sad.
Be sad. Let it be because it is there to help you.
Be there with your sadness right now.
Tell your sadness that it is okay for it to be here and that you have no intention of shunning it away like if it were an enemy. Tell it that you understand that it is here to help you interpret your experience. Tell it that you hear its voice telling you there is something you may want to change or there is something that you do not like.
It is okay not to like something.
It is okay to want to change something.
It is okay to be sad. Breathe with your sadness.

Do not resist yourself. Do not resist your body. Do not resist parts of yourself. Allow yourself to sink deeper and embrace all of who you are. All of who you are is working together for your best interest.
Your body is working in your favor at all times.
At all times your body is trying to heal itself and bring you into homeostasis. Your emotions are working to help you – do not beat yourself up for anything that you feel.
Instead, listen to your body.
Does it feel angry?
Does it feel upset?
Does it feel hurt?
Talk to it.
Listen to it.
Dwell in it.
Know that it is protecting you and trying to bring you into your best place.

Do not feel bad for what you feel.
All that you are, good and bad, is good.
Be. Be all that you are.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑