“I’m sad”
This thought follows me around like a shadow

I think it almost every day

It comes in waves – randomly

And you know what – it’s true

because I am sad

I’m sad for all the things that aren’t “right”
Everywhere in the world

I’m sad for the children who suffer
For the parents who don’t know any better
For the hungry
For the poor
For the violence
For the things that go wrong
For the heartbreaks
For the deaths
For the loss
For the sick
For the worker who works so damn hard but STILL can barely get by
For the people who are doing too many drugs because they’re trying to numb the pain
For the wrongs we commit against each other
For the voices that never get heard
For the pain and the suffering that living beings endure
For the mistakes we make
For the times we lie
For the fear and anxiety we experience
For all the bullshit – you name it
Just insert it here _____________ < yes, I’m sad about that too.

And then I’m sad that I can’t do anything about it – I mean I can do something – a little something, but it feels like any little thing I do is so meaningless in the face of the beast of it all

But I don’t wanna be negative and think that my trying has no impact

Look at Martin Luther King — he did something
He stood up for his dream, now look at the ripple of effect of his choice — his choice to believe against the injustice, against the oppression, against the violence and the bullshit

Look at Rosa Parks
Look at the women he fought for our rights and now we get to vote
Look at the people who stood up for peace, for love, for unity, for respect, for communication, for harmony, for health, for that which is GOOD

I don’t know man….

And then I think about my own little life — my own bullshit — the me me me
the I wanna travel and drink my latte on the beach reading a book — LIKE BITCH, there are children dying in Africa and you wanna do WHAT now?

There’s this weight I feel on my shoulder sometime
this desire to help and make a difference
while also feeling so small and limited by my own bullshit

SIGH

SIGH

SIGH

Who am I to even try….
What am I even supposed to do?
What can I even start doing?

I could donate…
I could try to be kind in my community and hope that it ripples
I could try to educate….

I hate the word TRY, cuz trying doesn’t sound like actually DOING anything

Anyway, that’s my sad ass rant about the sad ass things in life that make me sad

I’m also grateful and hopeful
and do believe that a little goes a long way
and that together we can make a difference
we can heal, and figure this shit out

because how the fuck are we okay with hurting one another rather than helping and elevating each other?

Life on Earth can be so amazing if we stop with the bullshit, mature the F up and collaborate…

but God, that even sounds like a defeating task — especially when we consider how different everyone and everything really is on a global scale — But SO MUCH is already WORKING that we have to have faith that we CAN find harmony and we can improve the systems and life on Earth so we can reduce the bullshit and the suffering

and then we can be less sad