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Self love

Accepted

Do I dim my light to be accepted?

Must I walk a certain way? Talk a certain way? Look a certain way? Be a certain way — and then I’ll be accepted?

Sometimes it can be hard for me to open up to love

because sometimes I experience rejection and it hurts, and it makes me close off

because I’m loved by others conditionally

Only loved if my hair is brushed or when I’m in shape
Only loved if my skin is youthful
Or if I make enough money and live in a nice place
Only loved if this or that or the other

Conditions, conditions…

-Sigh-

I think the secret is to give yourself the full love you seek from another

To accept yourself fully, without judgement

And to be around others who accept you as much as possible— even if they can’t accept all of you 24/7 365 in all your light, color, size, shape and being.

If you’re fulfilled with your own love the rejection of the other won’t ultimately shake you because you’re already full of love and acceptance; the love and acceptance you’ve already given yourself

Easier said than done, I know

but it’s a feeling you cultivate, a feeling you imprint into every cell of your being
It’s a practice

A practice of committing and re-committing to loving yourself without judgment,

without basing your sense of self worth on what you think you need to be in order to receive love from the other

To not hide or dim your light

We are all on our individual journeys, no one person can be all about you 24/7

So don’t be surprised when they’re not

It isn’t a bad thing, it’s just the nature of relationships

Work on being okay with yourself

(Which isn’t to say don’t take healthy constructive criticism and make improvements as needed for your personal development and growth)

But find that still, loving, grounded, accepting presence within yourself. It is always there no matter what.

The love you seek from the other is already there.

Don’t fear rejection of the other (that happens from time to time and is normal — it does not mean you are objectively unlovable or undesirable)

Reserve your company for those who make you feel good for the most part (No one person can make you feel good 24/7)

If someone doesn’t make you feel good, you have the option to talk through it and work together to make the situation better

If it doesn’t improve despite best efforts, it’s okay to kindly release that person and distance yourself (even if it hurts at first)

-Sigh-

This rant went on longer than I intended it to…

In conclusion,

Living is quite the art—
It’s a practice

Do your best to love and accept yourself
No one else can really do it for you,

Except maybe Jesus?

But that’s a whole other story

Guarantee

You are your only guarantee
Everyone else is an external factor

when you were born, you were there
and at every moment of every day until the end of your life, you are the one who will always be there

people will come and go
places will come and go
things will change

some people may leave you because they no longer love you or wish to be in your life
some will leave you because they die
some will exit for whatever other circumstance

get comfortable with your own company
stop trying to seek someone else to make you feel happy, loved and okay
learn to enjoy your own company
learn to be okay with your own presence

you do not need a relationship in order to be okay


be okay on your own
this way you can invite people into your life out of true desire rather than a need to escape your loneliness

spend time on your hobbies
invest in your personal development and career
read a book
take a class
find a recipe and cook something new
have a self care practice
write a blog
make time to spend with people who nourish you and make you feel seen, accepted, loved

remember that you are your only guarantee and you are the one who will be with you 24/7, 365 until death — make peace and friends with yourself

learn to be comfortable in your body
learn to be comfortable in your life
learn to feel safe and okay with yourself
(not in an arrogant I don’t need nobody typa way, but in a healthy “I feel at ease with myself and my life” typa way) and from this energy go out and make connections, enjoy your life

let go of the desperate need to have someone else complete you
you already are complete
you are your guarantee
everyone and everything else outside you will come and go,
until eventually you go too
(RIP)

it’s all temporary
make the best of it
enjoy your own company and consequently the right people will come into your life to add to it

when you treat yourself right and feel okay with yourself it’s easy to spot bad relationships and people who aren’t healthy for you — because you already know your standard and you are already okay on your own

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