Wisdom

Rest In Reality

“Rest in reality” she said, and as an avid dreamer that statement hit me like a ton of bricks, quite in the way reality usually does.

I like living in the clouds. Romanticizing all the little details. Takin’ my sweet ol’ time, ya know?

But lately reality has been hittin’ me hard. It’s reminding me “Sweetie, you’re in a body. On a planet. There are rules here. Laws here.”

And suddenly I wake from my twilight anesthesia, drowsy, confused, like “what?”

“Yep. Rules, baby rules” it reminds me.

Sigh.

Anyway.

Rest in reality. Now that’s something I’ve been resisting like the plague.

But I am learning. Learning that IT IS WHAT IT IS SOMETIMES.

Expectations don’t always match reality. Life sometimes will do it’s own thing no matter how damn hard you try. You don’t always get what you want. You WILL feel pain. You will lose. You will get rejected. Your dream might not come true.

Yes, life is beautiful. But also, it is not.

So I just want to take a moment to honor and acknowledge that.

I am learning to accept, and dare I say, love what is. But let’s not get too carried away. I’m definitely not at the “loving it” stage yet. Not even close. I am kind of sort of learning — ya know? It’s been kinda like trying to learn to walk a tightrope while juggling flaming baseball bats with a weighted vest. It’s a circus right now.

In all seriousness though, it is indeed a beautiful skill to develop. To hold the grief in solid wisdom, bow to life in respect and give it a kiss in the forehead in reverence and say “I understand. I accept.”

Because as my good friend Silvia would say, “It is what it is.”

October 31, 2025 0

Know

Is it better to know or not know?

To know or not to know… that is the question.

Lately I’ve been thinking that perhaps ignorance truly is bliss.

All I’ve ever wanted was to know: What is this? Why are we here? What is going on?

But now I wonder if not knowing is what makes it all the fun.

I took an improv class where a group of us learned a few basic introductory improv skills. It was hilarious and so much fun. That same week I ended up watching an Improv show– the first set being performed by skilled improvisers, the second set by less so. The second group used techniques I learned and was exposed to earlier in the week. I wasn’t as surprised by the second show because I knew what they were doing.

I imagine that others who had never been exposed to the behind the scenes were simply entertained and less aware of the techniques. So it dawned on me… is it better to not know?

Is it better to just be in blissful awe of this life experience vs knowing what’s actually behind it?

I don’t know.
I am beginning to reduce my dire need to know.

All I ever wanted was to know.
Now…I don’t know that I want to know.

Plus I’m deluding myself anyway thinking I could truly know…or could I?

I don’t know…

I am a ball of confusion.

April 29, 2025 0

“The root of suffering is attachment.” – Buddha

I resonate with the above quote.
When I cling to people, places, material possessions, status, you name it, whenever the target of my clinging is threatened – I experience emotional pain – a.k.a “suffering.”

Sometimes that emotional pain is also linked to physical responses in my body. My heart beats fast, my stomach sinks, I feel nauseous, my temperature rises, I cry, I curl into a little ball in a stew of emotions.

I experience this roller coaster of symptoms when I lose.
When I lose that which I have become attached to.
Sometimes it even happens when I imagine loss. Or perceive loss.

The guy I have been dating is showing up online on a dating site.
So what does my heart do?
It tightens.
What does my mind do?
It races.

“Oh. I guess he’s still searching. I guess I haven’t made a big enough impression to get him to stop seeking. I guess he’s not that into me. I guess I’m not enough for him. Maybe he’ll meet someone else he’ll find more interesting and move on happily while I’ll be back to square one.”

Attachment. Fear based thoughts.

But what if I let go of the outcome? What if I pull back and re-frame my response?

Truth is – nothing belongs to me. Nothing is mine. I simply get to share temporary experiences in a fleeting, changing environment that I do not and cannot possess. Yet in an attempt to hold on, to keep for longer, to experience more of – I attach.

I say, “I want you.”
I say, “Be mine.”
I say, “Don’t leave.”
I say, “I don’t want to let go.”
I say “I don’t want to say good bye.”

And when I do this, I hurt. Because I am trying to hold onto what time is literally ripping out of my tiny little hands.

see-them-floundering

So then what is the way to relieve this?

Non-attachment. Letting go. Release the hold.

No attachment to the outcome.
No fear of letting go.
Pure surrender.

Does that mean that I don’t love? That I don’t care? That I don’t experience fully? No. Quite the opposite.

Every moment becomes extremely meaningful, because every moment is unique, special, fleeting, and forever elusive.

Through non-attachment every moment becomes lighter because it can pass through you without getting stuck. It can just come and go and there is no fighting to keep it, no fighting to get more of it, no fighting for its return. Everything can just be.

It can come and it can go.

And when it comes – what a joy to have it.
When it goes [breathes out] what a joy to see it go.

This is true freedom.

*image credit to realbuddhaquotes.com

Die Before You Die

Release.

Die before you die.

Let go before you let go.

You don’t have to be afraid, beautiful, sweet child. You are okay. And it will be okay.

Learn to not be so attached to any outcome.

Learn to experience each moment fully.

Learn to have fun even when life really sucks.

Learn to be grateful even when it’s all going downhill.

I know this can be hard to do.

I know it almost seems impossible to pull through when you’re looking in the mirror and literally all of your demons and their dark destruction are staring furiously back at you ROARING — telling you, “YOU CAN’T MAKE IT. YOU’RE WORTHLESS. YOU’RE NOTHING. IT WILL NEVER WORK OUT. GIVE UP. JUST STOP EXISTING. NO ONE CARES, NOT EVEN YOU.”

In this moment, when everything seems against you, put your hands over your ears and refuse to listen to those voices and fears that cloud your better judgement. Even these fearful voices serve for your awakenening.

Remind yourself of the truth:

YOU CAN.

YOU ARE.

YOU WILL.

YOU ARE SO WORTHY.

SO BEAUTIFUL.

SO ENOUGH.

SO LOVED.

SO ABUNDANT.

YOU ARE FILLED WITH JOY.

THERE IS NOTHING YOU LACK.

YOU ARE AT PEACE AND YOU ARE AT REST.

There is absolutely NOTHING you need to do, be, have, get, buy, attain, ask for in order to have value because your existence alone is in and of itself WHOLE AND COMPLETE AND WORTHY AND ENOUGH AND ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL, GLORIOUS AND PERFECT.

You are right where you need to be.

You are not late, you are not early – you are right on time – right here, right now, beautifully as you are.

Don’t be afraid to lose.

Don’t be afraid of time.

Don’t be afraid that things will not work out.

Experience each moment as it is without resistance. Or perhaps resist if you must because all of your experience is valid.

Cry if you must.

Sleep if you must.

Take a break if you must.

And know deeply, deeply, that you are being held right now in the loving arms of a life force that holds you blameless, shameless, and perfectly whole.

I love you.

Don’t worry.

Don’t be afraid.

Even when you lose, you win.

September 23, 2018 0

Something Nothing

Why is there something rather than nothing?

There isn’t something rather than nothing – there is both something and nothing eternally existing.

Nothing exists. Something exists.

It isn’t one instead of the other. It is both.

December 28, 2015 0

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