My head aches.
My body aches.
My heart aches.
My stomach aches.
My soul aches.
Was it one drink too many that eventually did it?
I’m tired of being the one who’s always wrong. Despite my every attempt it just seems like I’ll never be good enough for you. I’ll always be wrong. Always be not enough. Always be the crazy blonde girl who jumped on stage.
I don’t like who I see in the reflection mirrored in your eyes. There’s this distorted image of me. There’s me looking away because I can’t make any sense of why you’re staring at me.
Are you trying to figure out if you like me enough to stay? Have you made a decision? Will you ever?
My brain aches trying to decode your mixed messages.
I’m tired. I’m old.
I’m exhausted from overthinking. From trying to “figure it out.”
From wondering if you’re just waiting for someone else to come along so the “place holder” I’ve become can just be discarded like an over used tissue paper.
Actions speak louder than words. And all I hear you saying is “I care. But not enough.”
About me pages always make my mind go blank, which is ironic because there's really so much to say. I guess what stumps me is where do I start?
Here are the basics: They named me Laura. They, meaning my parents, who were never married but mingled in 1988 in the country of Brazil, where little me was born.
I grew up in New York City among a melting pot of cultures, smells, and hustle.
I've learned to be a go-getter, thinker, intuitive, lover of life, peace maker, and coffee enthusiast - among other things.
I like to write. I've been keeping a journal since my early teenage years. I created Reflect Out Loud to simply share whatever is on my mind in whatever style that comes up for me. I try to let whatever I put out here be free flowing. I simply want to share my thoughts out in the open.
But to simplify this about me: I am a human, having a human experience. I have a story, just like you have a story. And some of that story you'll see here.
Um... I guess that's pretty much all I have for now.
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