I miss the younger version of me who was filled with enthusiasm and hope. She was chipper, adventurous and going after her dreams.

Now, I feel like a cynic.

Like I want to roll my eyes and scoff at everything. I’m annoyed at everything. So not enthused.

The other morning I went on a hike… normally hikes fill me with wonder. And maybe for a moment I felt a sense of awe but in 30 seconds it quickly faded…. meh.

My eyes open and I wish they didn’t.
“Here, again? Ugh.”

I have so much love for my human. It’s not her fault. I wish I could be better for her. And I want to be.

But this world feels so dense it’s like I’m walking through waist deep mud with a weighted vest.

Anyway. I don’t want to bring you down with my woes.

But I am tired of performing happiness and sometimes you just gotta share what’s real. And what’s real is that I am losing my patience. I don’t want to people please and be overly nice. I’m tired, angry, and cranky. So let’s get to the point.