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reflectoutloud

About me pages always make my mind go blank, which is ironic because there's really so much to say. I guess what stumps me is where do I start? Here are the basics: They named me Laura. They, meaning my parents, who were never married but mingled in 1988 in the country of Brazil, where little me was born. I grew up in New York City among a melting pot of cultures, smells, and hustle. I've learned to be a go-getter, thinker, intuitive, lover of life, peace maker, and coffee enthusiast - among other things. I like to write. I've been keeping a journal since my early teenage years. I created Reflect Out Loud to simply share whatever is on my mind in whatever style that comes up for me. I try to let whatever I put out here be free flowing. I simply want to share my thoughts out in the open. But to simplify this about me: I am a human, having a human experience. I have a story, just like you have a story. And some of that story you'll see here. Um... I guess that's pretty much all I have for now. Big love, Laura

Rumination

Rumination, (thinking deeply about the same thing over and over again) is helpful in the sense that it reminds you of some unresolved issue. However, rumination can be detrimental to your wellbeing because it inhibits you from letting go and healing. Picking at the same old wound will never allow it to heal. Replaying the same old story in your head will keep you stuck like a CD with a scratch on it. You can’t move forward and grow if your mind is stuck on what happened two years ago. Letting go of the story in your head will allow you to begin to unburden yourself and become free of limiting thoughts that keep causing you pain in the present moment.

It can be hard to let go of the story in our head when we have become so identified with it. It is like a little piece of us. We think something like, “I will never forget the mean comment Jane made about me.” And then you keep thinking about Jane and her comment over and over again because you have chosen to commit to the thought that “I will never forget the mean comment Jane made about me.”

Holding on to the mean comment Jane made about you is not in any way serving you in a positive manner. What good is it doing to your mind, body, heart and overall wellbeing? None.

Let go.

So how do we let go of our limiting thoughts?

Practice non-attachment. When a repetitive thought comes to your mind, don’t feed the thought. Don’t become identified with it. Allow it to just pass through you. The thought will die if you do not feed it further energy. If you let the thought pass through you like a cloud or the wind, it’ll just pass without affecting you. Recognize that you are not your thoughts – you have thoughts, but you are not the thoughts. You are the awareness of your thoughts. Use your awareness to shine light on repetitive thoughts and realize “Oh, hey, there goes that bad thought again. I will just let it pass because this thought is not who I am.”

You can also practice meditation, which is getting the mind to become totally still. It quiets the analytical voice that is always playing in your head. You don’t have to meditate for long periods at a time. Even 10 seconds can help you become still. Start small. Focus on your breath. Breathing deeply calms your heart rate and brings your body to a state of relaxation. You can do this anywhere at any time. We all have at least 10 seconds to dedicate to our wellbeing.

Practice affirming rituals that remind you of who you are. When repetitive thoughts arise, interrupt them with affirming thoughts like:

I am consciousness.
I am in control of my thoughts.
I let go of old limiting thoughts.
I let go of painful memories.
I release all that does not serve me.
I am free.

You can repeat that to yourself like a mantra as many times as necessary until your mind becomes refocused on the truth of who you really are! You are life itself. You are not a scratched CD. You are not a song on replay. You are not your memories. You have memories, but underneath those memories you are pure consciousness first.
May you find peace in letting go.

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Vibe With The Scales of Your Life

You don’t have to be happy all the time.
There are things in life that are sad. There are difficult moments. Frustrating moments.

Yes, it’s freaking sad when you lose people you love. It’s sad when things don’t go well at work. It’s sad when your kids are out of control and you don’t know what to do about it. It’s sad when people betray us, lie to us, leave us. It’s sad when sad things happen.

It’s crazy to think that you must be happy ALL THE TIME.

Sometimes you gotta just cry.
Sometimes you gotta just be like “whoa, my life REALLY SUCKS right now.”

This is called acceptance.
Acceptance of what is.

When you resist whatever emotion or whatever situation is happening in your life you only add to the pain already present.
Acceptance, however, allows you to be present with whatever happens in your life.
If you think you need to be happy ALL the time, then you end up abandoning yourself anytime you don’t feel happy. You run away from your emotions. You tell yourself “Oh, no, I don’t feel happy, so there is something wrong.”
Let me tell you right now, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG!!!!!
Feelings are part of life – ALL FEELINGS. Not just the high vibration, “good” ones, but also the low vibration “bad” ones.

You wanna think about this like music.
There are many instruments. Many tones. Many pitches. Many scales. Can you imagine if there was only high pitches in music!? It would feel empty! It would be missing that bass! That deep, RAWR like sound that just brings it all together like a yummy, wholesome meal!

Lol… “I’m all about that bass, about that bass, no treble” (Meghan Trainor)!

^ *Random!* 🙈

But seriously! We gotta take it all in. We can’t abandon ourselves when we feel sad. If you feel sad, angry, upset, THESE ARE ALL VALID EMOTIONS!
What you wanna do is accept that that’s how you feel. Accept that, damn, things aren’t the best right now – but you know what? It is what it is! And I accept this moment fully, wholeheartedly, just the way it is.

What is powerful about acceptance is that you don’t abandon your feelings when they come up. You just sit there with them and allow them to be without making yourself feel like they are wrong and that you should feel happy, joyful, or whatever else instead.
Naturally, as all things, that emotion will pass. You WILL get to a different point in time where you will feel better. When you DO feel better, that is the time to start thinking about what you wish to change in your life and assess where you want to be and what you want to do.

You will NEVER rid yourself of low moods – (because there is no high without low – the piano is a complete scale!) you will only grow to the point of being able to become less attached, and therefore, able to flow in and out of different emotional states with more ease. You will be able to DANCE to the BEAT of your life! Without blaming, judging, or hating yourself for being and feeling the way you do.

YOU ROCK! YOU ROCK ALL THOSE TONES OF YOUR LIFE! High and low!
Up and down the scale of the piano of your life :)!!

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Let it Be

Let the wind blow through your hair. Don’t worry if it gets tangled and wild.

Let the rain get you wet. Don’t care if it seeps into your shoes.

Let yourself be late. Don’t frazzle about what you can’t change.

Let yourself mispronounce a word. Don’t judge yourself for your mistakes.

Let your tears roll down your cheeks. Don’t hold back from what you feel.

Let yourself snort when you laugh. Don’t worry about who is looking.

Let yourself get some mustard across your face. Don’t be embarrassed at such simple things.

Let your life be. Let yourself be. As things are. As you are. This doesn’t mean cross your arms and do nothing while life passes you by, it means don’t resist what is, but rather, make the best of it.

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Compilation of Small Reflections

And then you realize that things don’t always go the way you wish they would. And you learn that even though you want rainbows in your sky there seems to always be a storm to cloud your sunny day.

Some people overwhelm me.
Some people drain me.
Some people make me feel good.
Some people inspire me.
Some people annoy me.
That’s life.  If everyone made me feel the same, I wouldn’t ever learn anything different.

There is no need to argue the truth – the truth speaks for itself.

I am not the same person who started writing this…A second has passed, I am now a second greater.

All things have a breaking point.
So, in a sense, That means all things have some sort of vulnerability since nothing can withstand everything.

Nothing in this world of forms is forever. Even the thing you think is most guaranteed – like the light of the sun – one day will no longer be.
Place your hope not in what your eyes could see and your hands could touch. Place your hope in the eternal. That is where your treasure is.

Your viewpoint is valid.

Don’t want to go anywhere or do anything or be anything…. I hate living today. Why do I exist when I never asked to.

You are who you are and don’t have to apologize for it. You don’t have to feel guilty for feeling how you feel.

It doesn’t have to be one reason, it could be many reasons that all make up the ultimate reason.
Like a pie chart. One chart, many components.

I don’t know how I am supposed to know what I want to do when every day I feel different and want something different.  I am not the same every day, so how can I say what I want tomorrow when I can only know what I want today? I don’t know what I’ll want tomorrow.

It is Fear’s job to protect you of life’s dangers, so it’s only natural to feel afraid. Fear becomes a problem when your life is guided by it, keeping you stuck and blocking your intuitive heart. Find your balance. Feel when to go and when to stay.

Let me show you how beautiful you really are. Let me show you how perfect you are.
But I need you to trust me.
Give me your hand.
Don’t be afraid.

It’s the magic that happens when we look in each other’s eyes. It’s the feeling of forgetting the world because we are all that matter. It’s that childlike curiosity and the tingly feeling in your stomach. It’s that magnetic force that pulls us back together when it’s been too long.
And sometimes it’s the daunting fear that I will never see you again. But it’s always the hope that when I open my eyes, you will be standing right there again.

Life is a jungle and you were selected to explore it. Even with all the people around you, you’re the one who must ultimately walk your path.

You don’t want to hold on too tight to things. It’s all going to go, go, go. Sooner or later it’ll all go, go, go.

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Be Selfish

You must first care for yourself before you can care about anyone else. We have been taught to always share and play nice with others – which is a beautiful thing. But when we always put everyone else before ourselves we compromise our own well being. We shave ourselves thin to the point where we begin to crack. We want others to be happy so we sacrifice our happiness for their sake. We say “yes” when we mean “no,” we give what we barely have, or sometimes we even go out of our way to extend offers that weren’t even asked of us. We may, for instance, offer to drive someone home even if we are tired when they didn’t ask for a ride. Or we may end up saying “yes” to going to that party we really rather have said “no” to. We put ourselves in uncomfortable situations because we want to do “right” by others. But how much thinner will we spread ourselves before we break?

PUT YOURSELF FIRST.
Once you are okay, then you can extend your hand to others. It is like the emergency instructions on the airplane say, “Put the mask on yourself first, then put the mask on your child.” How will you help another when you can barely breath yourself? It is so important that you focus on you. What do you need today? Have you taken care of yourself? Are you rested? Have you pampered yourself lately? Have you taken some “me” time? Whatever it is that lights you up and fills your life with vibrant energy – go for it! Once you are okay – then you can go save whoever you want.
It is okay to be selfish! You deserve some TLC too and who better to give that you but your own self? No one else can live your life. You must live your life! You must take care of yourself.

So take this week to DO YOU!
Put yourself first! Make sure you are fine, healthy, and all taken care of – then you will be strong enough to give to others without spreading yourself thin.

Always remember, there is NOTHING wrong with taking care of yourself, sticking up for yourself, loving yourself and above others making YOU your priority.  GO YOU!

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Gratitude

After standing on my feet for several hours, I began to notice how wonderful my feet really are. I began to notice how gracefully they support me all day no matter where I go.

I started to thank life for my feet. I began to see how I take so many things for granted. There are times where I focus so much on what I am lacking in my life and forget all the blessings that I already have.

Having a sense of gratitude is so important to our wellbeing. Thankfulness allows us to see the good that we already have and refocuses our attention on the beauty that is currently present. There is nothing wrong with wanting more from life, but it is crucial that we remember what we already have.

I started a gratitude journal. I recommend it. Even if you don’t write in it every day, take some time throughout the week to focus on what you are grateful for in your life. It could be the smallest of things, like the wind blowing in your hair. It could be the sunrise. It could be your coffee or tea. Anything that brings you joy; anything that serves you. You can even be bold enough to be thankful for the challenges that have strengthened you and opened your eyes to new knowing. Whatever it is for you, give thanks. There is always, always, always, something to be grateful for.

I am thankful in this moment.
Thank you, feet for supporting me and taking me from place to place.
Thank you, brain for being the source of my functions.
Thank you, hands for making this post possible.
Thank you, lungs for allowing me to breathe this air.
Thank you, bed for allowing me a comfortable place to rest.
Thank you, weather for being so pleasant today.
Thank you.

5

A Prayer For The Suffering

A Prayer for the Suffering

God. Life. Universe. Energy. Higher power. Source. Whatever, if anything, is out there help those who suffer. All who suffer, may their pain be removed. May peace reign on Earth. May health abound. May food abound. May joy abound. May peace abound. May hearts be whole and minds tranquil. Awaken our hearts and mind. Liven our spirits. May humanity prosper in love. Love come over us and wash away the pain.
Love come over us and wash away the hurt.
Shine light on our consciousness.
Bring peace to our homes.
Love we welcome you.
Love may you reign.
Help us. Help us.
Let love reign.

In love, may it be so. Amen. Amen.

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Some Reasons We Hold On

We hold on and on. Like glue we hold. So strong, so strong. This record, yet scratched, never gets old. 

We hold on because it’s comfortable. It’s familiar. I’s safe. We’ve known this for so long that letting go of it now is almost like cutting off an arm or something. It’s become so part of us  – so part of our identity.

We hold on because we love. We want to keep what we love for as long as physically possible.

We hold on because we have no motivation to seek any better. We settle for what we have because it’s good enough, easy enough, simple enough.

We hold on because we are scared. We fear that if we let go then we will never find a replacement.

We hold on because it feels good, even when it hurts. Like massaging a sore back after a long day of work.

We hold on because it interests us. It increases our status in some way. It rubs our ego.

We hold on because we want to show an image to the world. What’s more important than keeping up with the Kardashians? Duh.

We hold on because there’s a mutual benefit. Something to learn. Something that nourishes our souls.

We hold on because we want to be supported. We don’t want to feel alone.

We hold on because we feel like it. And feeling is always sufficient reason.

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Free Thought and Numbers

I see same digits every day without planning to. 1:11, 11:11, 12:12, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 10:10. These are the most common. Which is basically all of them. Except 5:55, which I think I see less of. I always feel happy when I see them. I hear some say that they are messages from the universe. Are they? I don’t know. I would really like it to be.

I don’t know how to really draw the line between what is truly real and what is man made mumbo jumbo. I wish I could know. I really do.

I have trouble at times feeling really confident in any one belief because I feel like everything is always changing. For example, if I believe in this X now, 1 second from now this X is not the same because it’s now one second old – it has changed (even if at a minuscule level) since its original time. So how can I become grounded in any one thing if all things are changing moment by moment?

I hate it. I hate that I get so confused by it all and that I just don’t know it all.

Some say that we should become satisfied with not knowing. Are we giving up by saying it’s enough not to know? If you could know, wouldn’t you want to? I would.
If I had a choice I would choose knowledge.
But that’s my personal choice.

But, of course, until then, I’ll just settle for not knowing. For wondering. For exploring.
For having enough, for now.

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