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Attraction

Just because someone is magnetically attractive, their smile and eyes make you want to melt and their pheromones make you want to strip away your clothes, doesn’t mean they’re a good fit for you as a life partner. For a relationship to work, there needs to be more than attraction. Attraction can only go so far. There also needs to be shared values, genuine care, emotional availability, maturity, mutual effort, reciprocity, respect and compatibility.

When the spark happens with someone it’s as if you become drunk by a delicious cocktail of hormones that can easily blur your vision of what the reality is. For a romantic like me this hypnotic delirium can be even worse. Suddenly I’m in wonderland. Suddenly I’m in heaven. 

But you can’t actually get to heaven with just anybody. No sooner or later the reality hits. The person is unavailable, chaotic, addicted, troubled and always late. You start to see the red roses are actually red flags. This is when attraction alone becomes dangerous. When you’re staying, analyzing, trying and hoping the person will be who you wish they could be. Wishing they would match the fantasy. Forcing a square peg in a round hole.

This is why love is not enough. 

Love is beautiful. And you deserve it deeply and fully. 

But what’s also important is all the other attributes that make a relationship a complete package. 

It has to be both love and it also has to work. There has to be more substance. 

So if you’re connecting to someone right now who you know isn’t a fit — listen to that! Don’t force what isn’t right because you’ll waste your time and get hurt along the journey. 

I know we can’t help it sometimes. The drug is too strong. But SOBER yourself up enough to realize that for a relationship to work there has to be more than only attraction. Just because someone is cute isn’t enough. Just because someone has a nice body and you connect well in bed for a few hours (or minutes even!) 👏 that is not enough 👏!! 

Hello 👏

👏 Snap out of this hypnosis 👏

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! 

Attraction is NOT enough 

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Shiny

I want you to stay shiny in my eyes. I don’t want to lose the spark. The magic.

I want to stay enchanted by you.

I don’t understand me. I’ve wanted this more than anything. And to think that maybe I could have it, that maybe it could be something, kind of stresses me. Worries me. Turns me off.

What in the heavenly fuck is wrong with me?

Why am I unhappy when I have only reasons to be grateful?

There was a moment where it felt like you fell from the pedestal I put you on. Where you didn’t seem as shiny. As dreamy. As this “thing” I need to win over. This “thing” that I need to obtain.

How disgusting I feel to even say that. As if you weren’t the most valuable gem. You are. And sometimes I think you deserve better than me. And sometimes I wonder if you also wonder whether or not you do.

There’s too many unknowns.

I don’t want to distort the image I have of you.

I want you to stay shiny. To stay elusive.

Why am I like this? What is my problem?

 

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Magnetism

How relieving it feels to be yourself, unedited.  With your scars, fears and weird exposed but instead of running they pull closer.

You are held tightly by a long embrace in a room where silence needs no filling for their warmth completes volumes of words that need not be uttered.

Suddenly you’re reminded of what it should have always been like. How it’s taken a journey to re-discover how to be loved. How to receive love. How the times you’ve felt like something wasn’t quite right was simply because you were accepting less than you deserved.

Then arises this question of attachment. Forming secure and healthy bonds.

And magnetism.

There is something to be said about the fact that the massive universe had to evolve and unfold in this very particular way bringing us together in such a peculiar way.

I’m curious about you.

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