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Reflect Out Loud

"The unexamined life is not worth living." – Socrates

Tag

attraction

Shiny

I want you to stay shiny in my eyes. I don’t want to lose the spark. The magic.

I want to stay enchanted by you.

I don’t understand me. I’ve wanted this more than anything. And to think that maybe I could have it, that maybe it could be something, kind of stresses me. Worries me. Turns me off.

What in the heavenly fuck is wrong with me?

Why am I unhappy when I have only reasons to be grateful?

There was a moment where it felt like you fell from the pedestal I put you on. Where you didn’t seem as shiny. As dreamy. As this “thing” I need to win over. This “thing” that I need to obtain.

How disgusting I feel to even say that. As if you weren’t the most valuable gem. You are. And sometimes I think you deserve better than me. And sometimes I wonder if you also wonder whether or not you do.

There’s too many unknowns.

I don’t want to distort the image I have of you.

I want you to stay shiny. To stay elusive.

Why am I like this? What is my problem?

 

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Magnetism

How relieving it feels to be yourself, unedited.  With your scars, fears and weird exposed but instead of running they pull closer.

You are held tightly by a long embrace in a room where silence needs no filling for their warmth completes volumes of words that need not be uttered.

Suddenly you’re reminded of what it should have always been like. How it’s taken a journey to re-discover how to be loved. How to receive love. How the times you’ve felt like something wasn’t quite right was simply because you were accepting less than you deserved.

Then arises this question of attachment. Forming secure and healthy bonds.

And magnetism.

There is something to be said about the fact that the massive universe had to evolve and unfold in this very particular way bringing us together in such a peculiar way.

I’m curious about you.

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