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Reflect Out Loud

"The unexamined life is not worth living." – Socrates

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bored

Waiting

I think waiting is probably one of my least favorite human experiences. 

Waiting in a long line. Waiting for a job offer. Waiting for traffic to clear. For the computer to do its goddam update at the most inconvenient possible time. Waiting for my nails to dry. For the lasagna to bake all the way through.

And worst yet, waiting to hear back from you.  

kthfishfiusgdfudyfgalsoifjsdlfh. 

That’s how I feel about that.

Boredom. It’s a thing.

There’s so much I could be doing with this moment. Productive activities that could probably propel me into some better future but instead I ‘m just sitting here feeling antsy AF. 

Procrastinating. 

Getting nowhere fast. Getting nothing done.

Or at least nothing that seems of value. 

I go back and forth between thinking there’s this greater cosmic plan than my own for my life or that maybe I’m just fucking delusional.  I wonder if perhaps worrying, freaking out, or trying to control all the details is just a waste of my life’s time because everything is going to be just fine.

And then I tell myself  that entertaining this grandiose idea of a “higher plan” is probably me just trying to rationalize my way into being okay with being lazy.  Making excuses for myself to not feel so bad about putting off the work I know I need to be doing in order to up-level my circumstances. 

I worked 40 hours a week for the man in order to produce results. I need to work at least the same for myself If I’m going to make this “be my own boss” thing happen. 

It’s so easy to get distracted. To pretend to be “busy” when really I’m just procrastinating. 

Waiting to see you again… 

Unfocused. Uninspired. Lazy bitch. 

 

Ups, Downs, and in Betweens

There are moments in time where I feel so bored and so blah about life and where I am headed. I start thinking about all the things that went wrong and how I should have taken action earlier. I ruminate.

Yesterday I heard a powerful message by Shirly Joy Weiss, where she reminds us of how normal this act of having negative thoughts is. She goes on to say that it would be a joke to think that we, as humans, wouldn’t experience negative thoughts and emotions. She reinforces that it would be a joke to think that even spiritual teachers themselves don’t go through difficult moments and have negative thoughts and emotions. She recalls to us that this is a fact of life and it’s one of the most normal of experiences. Hearing her reaffirm these statements just made me feel so much better about being human. It’s ok to be bored sometimes. It’s ok to have negative thoughts. All these things come and go. Even the positive thoughts come and go. Our thoughts don’t define us – not the positive, not the negative. We will experience highs, lows, neutrals, in betweens and all else in the spectrum. This is what it means to be alive. To experience. To learn. To be.

We just have to flow with it and remind ourselves that we are so much more than our thoughts and we have to continue to persevere. Let’s persevere together! We can overcome our obstacles and not feel bad because sometimes we fall a little short. We’re human! It’s part of the program!

We got this. Let’s keep on moving! Keep on dancing to the beat of our beautifully unique soul!

WE ROCK!

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