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inner peace

Glimpse

I caught a glimpse of the new moon resting gently in the sky.
I felt her energy remind me, it’s time to step into the new.

Shed, shed, shed the old.
The old patterns
The old fears
The old stories that keep you small,
The traumas
The worries
The doubts

and walk, walk, waltz.
Dive, dance, melt into the new.

EMBODY IT

Embody the version of you you wish to be.
Let the energetic frequency be so clear, there is no mistake.
There is no confusion, no nonsense, no halfway energy.

Embody the joy, the peace, the love, the abundance.

YOU ARE IT!

Feel the frequency of heaven and BE IT.
Be what you wish to see.
Be, do, have.

We create our reality with the choices we make.
Every day we are choosing.

We choose the clothes we wear, the foods we eat, and whether or not we snooze the alarm.

We make the rules, the laws, the bread, the systems, the everything we have here in this world — collectively, together. We do it. It’ us.

If there are wars — it’s us. It’s our fault. WE are doing this. We we we we.

If there is poverty, it’s us. We’re to blame.

And we are also the solution.

It’s tough to save the whole world. There isn’t enough time in the day to address all the BS going on. But if more of us address it on a personal level, that will ripple. If we each choose peace individually, we will have peace collectively. Imagine that?

“Imagine all the people, living life in peace”…..

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I am not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will be as one.”

—


Gahh…. I could burst sometimes. In sheer, magnificent, juicy AWE.

What is this experience?? What IS THIS??

Apparently we’re all energy? Mostly energy vibrating in space. Trippy shit.

Let’s have a good time, folks!!

—

Do you ever just want someone even though you know you’re not compatible?

Today I also caught a glimpse of you…
and you looked like Heaven.

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Dream Vs Reality

The dream feels so much better than the reality.

And as a dreamer, I just want to live in the fantasy.

I want to live in the Ether.
I want to be in the lightwave.

This morning I was walking the neighborhood towards the beach,

The temperature felt perfect.

The air felt sweet and filled deeply in my lungs.
I felt a juicy sense of peace.

“This.” I thought. This is how we are meant to be feeling.

Not rushing around trying to make ends meet.

Not feeling like we are worried about resources,
afraid we won’t have money.

We are meant to be LIVING.
We are meant to be provided for because the Earth already provides all we need.

The Earth grows our food freely.
The Earth grows the resources we need for our homes.

The Earth gave us the animals,
it gave us EACH OTHER.

We should be caring for each other.
Working as a way to contribute to our well-being and good.

WTF is all this extra non-sense?

I’m not having it.

We can be so dulled down by the way society has beaten us into a reality we may not be that excited to wake up to.

We are doing it.

We should live with deep sighs of relief. With peace in our hearts. With health pulsating through our bodies. Yet we are tense, afraid, rushing, stressed. WTF is that about?

We should have time for each other. Time for our babies. Time for simply living. Our energy is so poorly allocated. We are working to raise money to pay rent which is a never ending cycle when the Earth has already provided the materials but capitalism won’t stop running you down. It infuriates me.

I know something is off here. And I am going to do something about it. Even if it’s just write you this message. “Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.”

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Patience

I am being asked to wait, but I don’t wanna.
I want everything to happen all at once.
What a babe.

The excitement is in the not knowing. The adventure is about the unraveling. The mystery. The challenges. The pain along the way that can teach you all you need to know about pleasure.

Gahh… I feel a million things in one. But this is what makes this all exciting.

I’ve had this pattern of rushing for a long time. I am learning to slow down. To be more gentle. To delay gratification. To think a little longer before answering. I am also learning to honor my own speed. I am my own person. I am on my own journey. I want to honor this journey without trying to force the fruit before it’s ready. This is no easy task. Especially when you’re caught in a terrifying storm you want nothing but to pass. Yet the way is the way.

But, man, do I wish I was just a little further along.
This is coming from that pouty, rebellious teen ager within me who keeps asking “are we there yet??”

It’s all good though. I have to trust that life knows the way. It knew to make my heart a heart, my hand a hand, and intelligently organize this entire experience without my own doing… I suppose it probably knows a thing or two — don’t ya think?

I once saw a post on TikTok where someone said “Ok, but does the process know we are trusting it??” LOL.

We’re told to trust the process. But what does the process have in store for us? Could be good, could be not good. Could just be a bunch of meh.

I hear that the path is more about the internal journey than the external. It’s more about being okay with what IS vs frustrated over what isn’t. Have you heard of Michael Singer? Best selling author of “The Untethered Soul.” I tell everyone to read this book. It’s been by far the most transformative in helping me relax with what is vs fighting with reality. This doesn’t mean we don’t take actions to improve the experience, it just means it doesn’t come from a place of fighting the experience.

SIGH.

I am excited and bored all in one.
I am clear and lost all at the same time.
I am ecstatic and apathetic in the same instant.
I am both.
I am here and not here.
But I am here.
Passing.

Passing passing. Look. I have just passed from that moment to this moment. And I will keep on passing. Passing. Passing. Passing.

GAHHHHH.

What to prioritize? Do I sell it all and run? Run to Thailand and ask my crush to come along? Do I stay put and chip away at day to day life with a good routine that sets me up for success?

WHAT MATTERS?

I don’t know.

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Breakdown

Everything is breaking down

It’s breaking down to let the new in

The old self is slowly dying

It’s sad, it’s scary, it’s bittersweet

I have to be strong. I have to be stronger than the loss. I have to accept. Accept impermanence. Accept change.

Time is passing. And with it is going my youth, some of the people around me, my hair line.

After many laps around the sun, you start to learn some things — gain some wisdom.

You gain a lot, you lose a lot. You build but in the end you let it all go.

One of my favorite aunts died last year. The house she bought was left behind. The clothes in her closet cleared away. The car she drove was given to her children.

This life is temporary. It’s all temporary. Some things break down and then we build them again. Yet in the end we keep nothing. So what is it all for? All this striving? All this doing? All this pressure to get it all “right”? The best hair, the nice shoes, the plump lips, the fancy outfits.

What are we all doing?

Why are we over capitalizing on each other to the point we can’t even enjoy this temporary life because we have to rush to a job just to make the payment to the banks for the ridiculously expensive mortgage loan adorned with suffocating interest.

This weekend I saw a Cheetos truck on the highway. So much gas is needed to fill up this truck to transport GARBAGE food into our groceries. What are we eating? What are we being fed?

What are WE DOING!? Is someone out there AWAKE!?

We are co-creating this God damned world here. Is this what you want? To go to debt for schooling, to go to debt to buy a car, to go to debt to buy a house and LIVE OUR WHOLE LIVES SLAVES TO BANKS and their interest payments?

So many cars on the road as we commute to work jobs we don’t even like. WHAT ARE WE DOING?

Are these the jobs we really want?

Are we happy with what we are creating? This is OUR WORLD.

We, together, call the shots. WHAT ARE WE DOING?

I’m pissed. And sometimes feel so damn powerless in the face of it all.

I hope we find a way to make it better. This experience here is temporary. I want to make the best of it and have supportive systems that create ease and peace for people. Not disease, stress, debt, depression, lack, scarcity, fear… what the fuck is going on.

I saw someone share this image below and it was the best thing I saw on the internet yesterday. So I am sharing it here with you.

^ I didn’t create the image I saw someone share it on facebook and I’m sharing it here with you…


Life is hard enough as it is — why don’t we come together to make it better? To make it pleasant?

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Glimpse Of Heaven

There are times when I really do see it.

I’m comfortable in my skin. Really living my purpose.

You’re by my side. We can design our day, better yet, our lives as we please.

You’re free and fulfilled. I’m free and fulfilled.

There are no borders.

We’re healthy. Abundance flows.

It’s beautiful. We’re beautiful. Life’s beautiful.

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Changes

It amazes me how quickly things can change.
How a moment ago we were laughing and holding each other only to never speak again. Would it have felt different if I knew it’d be the last time I’d see you?

I am having a hard time coping with parts of my life’s unfolding. My aging face. My thinning hair. My changing body. My desire to be somewhere further along.
I’m having a hard time with loss. Loss of identity. Loss of youth. Loss of health. Loss of people. Loss of possessions. Loss of status.

I know there is only so much I can do externally to keep it all together. I know that I have to learn to gracefully accept what I cannot change and stop resisting what I can’t control. But it sucks. Damn, does it suck. Why can’t things just work and be my way? Why does it have to be so difficult?

Part of my struggle is internal. Because I cannot sit comfortably with the way things are. Because I tell myself a negative story about my external situation and assign a negative meaning to what is happening to me.

I know that if I want to experience lasting inner peace and satisfaction I have to commit to being kind to myself. I must commit to seeing myself as beautiful, worthy, enough, complete, deserving, lovable and ultimately safe regardless of my external situation.

I’ve started to do EFT – an acupressure form of therapy that helps heal emotional wounds created by excessive patterns of negative thinking. I like to watch and follow along to Brad Yate’s videos. I’ll share a link here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6Ua7T01cdY

I am also working to exercise some faith. Faith that even though things may not be completely the way I want them to be right now, that in time, they will be.
Work in progress.
 

 

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Be The Driver of Your Mind

The mind is like a vehicle that you use to navigate through life. You command left, left it goes. Right, right it goes. There are times, however, where your mind is the one navigating you rather than the other way around. You become lost in the stories in your head. You remember the past, rehearse for the future and on, and on the rambling continues to the point of overwhelm. Some of us are so lost in our minds and so controlled by its power that we can’t even fall asleep. The mind is riding us.

The mind is a powerful tool with tremendous potential. Use your mind for your service and wellbeing. Don’t let your mind take you away from the present moment as it replays old memories, blames you, guilts you, judges you, abuses you.  Don’t let your mind tell you negative, limiting stories that say you are not enough, not capable, and that you will not achieve your goals. When you catch yourself falling victim to the mind, interrupt it saying, “Hey, I am the boss here, not these limiting thoughts. I choose to love and believe in myself at all times. I am enough. I am present.” Command your mind! You are the driver and the mind is the vehicle – not the other way around. Drive your mind through roads that are conducive to your highest potential. If you see the mind getting out of control, like a car that begins to veer from its lane, guide it back to the present and loving path. Be the driver of your mind!

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Breathe. Be Here. Be Present.

I think a lot. A lot.

I realize that most of my thinking hinders my ability to simply experience the beauty of the present moment. The sounds. The smells. The colors. The joy of being part of the eternal now.

My thoughts give rise to my emotions, which gives rise to more thoughts, and circles endlessly.
When I interrupt my thinking mind I feel peaceful. I don’t project myself into the future or wallow in my past or my fears.
Letting the thoughts just play like a song on a radio allows me to be the observer of the thoughts without identifying or giving them more energy to persist.

When I let my thoughts carry me away like the mighty waves of an ocean, I lose myself in my mind. I drown. I start to believe my limiting thoughts are my reality. I play and replay scenarios in my head. I remember the past. I rehearse for the future. I replay all my fears. I analyze. Overthink. I beat an idea down over and over until I am overwhelmed and uneasy.

Then I remember  I have a choice. I can either live in my head or live in the moment. Do I live in the mental stories or do I actually live? The stories make me feel good or make me feel bad, or something in between. The stories do not provide lasting peace as they are always changing, analyzing, criticizing, judging.

Regret. Fear. Anxiety. Love. Nostalgia. Guilt. Shame. Sadness. Pride. Creativity. My myriad of emotions. It’s all tossed in my head like a salad.

Then I chose to take a seat. I just sit there and watch the thoughts. I watch them until they are done rising and sinking. I let them ride but I don’t join. I actively interrupt the thoughts by commanding myself to “Be here. Be present.” I take deep breaths and focus on the feeling of the air filling my lungs and then releasing.

In…
Out…
In…
Out…
Be here.
Be present.
In…
Out…
In…
Out…
Be here.
Be present.

My mind becomes quiet. I am brought back to the present moment where everything is ok. The colors penetrate my eyes. The smells dance in my nostrils. The sounds tickle my ears. The air makes sweet love to my lungs. I am well. I am here. I am not identified with the stories in my head. I am not my memories. I am not projecting myself into the future. I am not trying to control. I am not trying to do more, be more, have more to prove some point to myself or the world. I just am. I just am this living being who is settled in peace, inner stillness and soothing joy.

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The Extraordinary Ordinary

“If you’re always racing to the next moment, what happens to the one you’re in?” – Unknown

Much of our life is made up of ordinary moments. Eating, brushing our teeth, walking, cleaning, sleeping, bathing, running errands, taking out the trash, doing laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, driving the kids to school, doing homework, and on and on and on.
The bigger, less ordinary, moments in life like getting married, reaching the top of your career, graduating college, moving across country, buying your dream home, among other grand achievements, happen with less frequency. When we live our entire life neglecting ordinary moments because our mind is too busy chasing after peak moments, we fail to enjoy the entirety of our life experience. Like a hamster running on a wheel, we fervently chase, chase, chase the next moment because right now, just as we are, is not quite enough.

All too often I catch myself feeling frustrated because right now my apartment is too small. Right now, I have debt to still take care of. Right now, I am not at the top of my career. Right now, I am not exactly where I wish I were. So what do I do? I spend time neglecting my ordinary moments chasing after the next moment. I beat myself up and don’t feel good in the here and now. This state of mind blocks me from seeing the beauty in the ordinary. It inhibits me from realizing that although I am not yet experiencing the bigger, more defining moments of my life, it does not mean that my life isn’t already big and momentous in and of itself in the present.

Each day, I realize more clearly how important it is to my wellbeing to simply enjoy the journey without getting worked up about the destination. Life is not about chasing moments, though it’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of chasing. It is easy to get stuck in not feeling enough because right now you are just not there yet. The funny thing is, there is no there – there is only, always, here and now. It is always in the now moment that we will experience anything, ever. To live a happy and satisfied life, we must carry happiness and satisfaction with us in both the everyday standard moments as well as the bigger more rewarding moments. If we place our happiness on any future desire then most of our days will be gloomy because we will always have more average days than peak days. We will always be waiting for happiness to happen in some future time while our present suffers. It is in the here and now that we have to find our joy. It is in the ordinary that we have to see the extraordinary. It is in taking out the trash, washing the dishes, walking the dog, driving the kids to school, brushing our teeth, washing our hands, doing the laundry, walking to work, and all the other little things that we have to participate in with joy. The joy we experience in the extraordinary is the same joy we can carry with us when experience the ordinary. Life will be joyous not just because of the great things you will achieve, but it will be joyous because YOU in and of yourself are great and joyous. Feel it! 🙂

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