So far in my life all of my romantic relationships have lasted an average of like 3 years…
I have learned that just because something isn’t “forever” or for a lifetime doesn’t mean that it isn’t meaningful. Relationships don’t have to last a lifetime in order for them to be beautiful, important, and exactly what we needed them to be while they lasted.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of open relationships…
Would I ever want a dynamic like this?
Right now I’m in a place in life where for the first time ever I don’t want a relationship
I’ve been in and out of relationships since I was like 16 years old
I’m 33 now
Don’t you think it’s time for me to just be at PEACE on my own without needing to be with another?
I think it’s much needed
Like, who am?
What do I like?
And if I’m loud who cares — I don’t need your approval
This is my face, this is my body, this is my personality — TA DA
(Not saying this in an arrogant “my way or the high way, I don’t need nobody and don’t make compromises” typa way) I’m saying this in a more gentle “I accept myself and your acceptance is great but not needed for me to feel okay” typa way…
I feel like I’m in a time where I finally just want to focus all of my attention on me (and what a relief to get to this point, because I’ve been trying to find the “right” boy since I basically came out of the womb)
but I am wondering… If I ever do decide to lay my attention on another again, could I ever really be with just ONE person — for the rest of my life?
I don’t know
Right now I am feeling open
Open to exploring
Open to allowing things to unfold without needing to pin them down or make them into anything
I am open to BEING…
The other day I kissed a girl
I feel like there’s a world inside me on the topic of self worth, value and relationships I want to share with you soon…. but for today I’ll just leave it at this, open ended