Search

Open Search
Tag

reality

Rest In Reality

“Rest in reality” she said, and as an avid dreamer that statement hit me like a ton of bricks, quite in the way reality usually does.

I like living in the clouds. Romanticizing all the little details. Takin’ my sweet ol’ time, ya know?

But lately reality has been hittin’ me hard. It’s reminding me “Sweetie, you’re in a body. On a planet. There are rules here. Laws here.”

And suddenly I wake from my twilight anesthesia, drowsy, confused, like “what?”

“Yep. Rules, baby rules” it reminds me.

Sigh.

Anyway.

Rest in reality. Now that’s something I’ve been resisting like the plague.

But I am learning. Learning that IT IS WHAT IT IS SOMETIMES.

Expectations don’t always match reality. Life sometimes will do it’s own thing no matter how damn hard you try. You don’t always get what you want. You WILL feel pain. You will lose. You will get rejected. Your dream might not come true.

Yes, life is beautiful. But also, it is not.

So I just want to take a moment to honor and acknowledge that.

I am learning to accept, and dare I say, love what is. But let’s not get too carried away. I’m definitely not at the “loving it” stage yet. Not even close. I am kind of sort of learning — ya know? It’s been kinda like trying to learn to walk a tightrope while juggling flaming baseball bats with a weighted vest. It’s a circus right now.

In all seriousness though, it is indeed a beautiful skill to develop. To hold the grief in solid wisdom, bow to life in respect and give it a kiss in the forehead in reverence and say “I understand. I accept.”

Because as my good friend Silvia would say, “It is what it is.”

0

Real

Lately I’ve been thinking about real love. The one that remains. The kind that endures. The one who will sit beside you for hours in a hospital, be there when your parents grow sick and pass away. The kind that will handle the errands and put away the dishes because you’re too tired from the day to move. The kind that is present not just in laughter, ease, play and fun.

It’s easy to love when it’s all going well. When you’re feeling butterflies. When you’re pretzeled together on the cozy couch laughing at your favorite Ben Stiller movie. When you get a promotion. When you are in good health. When there’s plenty and it all feels certain.

Yeah, anyone can love that.

But what about when the clouds swallow the sun? When your body aches and the room smells of Vicks and Bengay? When income isn’t steady? When the phone rings with the news that family is unwell? When the bills cascade across the kitchen table and suddenly life is not photogenic?

What then?


Man, I’m a sucker for the magic. For the awe and wonder of life. But can I also be okay with the reality too? With the darkness? With the difficult chapters? Can I also love then?

0

Incredible

I was petting Luna the dog and felt so inspired to write this after.

I was observing just how perfect all her hairs are. I noticed my hand petting her and the sensory experience of “feeling”. I am marveled at the incredible design work of existence.

There is no way you can convince me there isn’t something incredibly special happening right before our eyes. I am speechless in the face of it all. How intelligently designed our reality is. I am marveled. Taken aback and breathless.

When I stop to contemplate it all I cannot help but feel this ecstatic wonder. Deep excitement! Why would we take this experience for granted? How could we walk around numbed and dull? Are we drugged and hypnotized into thinking any of this is just “normal”? GAHHHHH, I want to shout it from the rooftops and mountains – “WE EXIST!!! AND IT’S EPIC!!!”

It excites me so much I want to sing. I want to turn my life into a musical. I want to dance, prance, skip, hop, and twirl into the ethers like a fairy.


How are we not LOSING it with blissful awe at the magic that is before us?

I want to be lost in the magic every day. I want to ADORE each moment, even the ones I rather not experience.

Let’s hold hands and co-create something beautiful. Something we are excited to wake up to and play in.
It’s up to us. We are the ones co-creating the systems, the laws, the roads, the cars, the twinkies.

It’s us.

It’s up to us.

0

Reality

Why reality gotta come and smack me in my face?

I’ve been here, dreaming
Thinking about the magic
Waiting for when the big “surprise” happens. The moment the angels come out from behind the curtains with our loving, hilarious, beautiful God who greets us with all the abundance, love, joy, connection and “joke’s on you” realization. We all melt into peace. We all melt into ecstasy. Into perfect embrace.

But then in busts Reality- cynical, unshaven, holding a ciggarette: “It’s bullshit. It’s all bullshit, kid. There ain’t no magic and it don’t mean shit.”

—

The other day I was sitting at a table having lunch with some people. A woman shared about the children she teaches who believe in Santa Claus. It made me think of all the stuff we’re told when we are little — when we don’t know any better. We watched the Disney movies. We were told about love. We were told about a prince and talking animals.

Then we grow older. We’re told about jobs, money, and “no”. We’re told to sit up straight. Pay attention. Be proper. Chew with your mouth closed.

Then we’re told it’s all a lie – there is no Santa, no tooth fairy, no prince. Reality. It smacks you in the face and blows a cloud of cancer stick smoke into your eyes.

I’m kinda pissed. What am I to believe in at this point?

Yet despite the fact of the matter I cannot help but wonder… is there still magic?

If you figure out how it all works does it stop being magic?
If you can create it and re-create it does it stop being mysterious?

But what even is IT?

I know we give names to what is observable. We’ve learned to identify what we see and feel. We’ve learned how it operates. We’ve learned to manipulate what is so it yields predictable results. But have we actually understood IT itself?

What IS IT?

Idk. I don’t want to get too philosophical today. I think I just wanted to complain just a little.

What would ever be enough?

What would need to come to be in order for us to just be okay? What’s all this doing about anyway? What are we trying to get at?

SIGH.

I gotta believe. I choose to keep having faith.

0

No, really

Seriously guys, wtf?
No, really. Wtf?

I really mean it- wtf?

For real, for real — wtf?

Something’s off. There is literal no way that we exist on an intelligent, life giving planet and that our purpose here is to pay some bills and die.

Come the F on. I’m mad. I’m mad at what we’ve turned life into. This experience should be so awe inspiring it basically blows you away.

How are we not all blissed out?

Our energy is poorly allocated. It’s for this reason we are seeing hunger, illness, depression, fights, and all kinds of other suffering.

Gosh. I think about the world. I think about how big it is and how different we all are.
I imagine the people in India. There are so many of them and everyone has their own mindset- their own beliefs. I imagine the hot summers. The unpaved streets. The misallocation of resources.

I imagine Africa. I imagine Russia. I imagine the South American jungles. Everyone so different. Everyone with such different needs. Different opinions. Different religion. Different language. Different wants.

I imagine everyone’s ego and how our animal nature plays into the fact that we aren’t always conscious and we aren’t actually all knowing. We aren’t always wise. Our IQ isn’t always high and definitely isn’t perfect.

I imagine the planet as a whole. Outside of our man made barriers we are one planet. Like one body made by its different parts.

Gahh I wanna scream. Because I love it all. I love everything about everything. Every rock. Every rain drop. Every particle of dust. Every interesting little corner of everything which makes up this intricate picture we call “life”.

AAAAHHHHH

I want to scream at the top of a mountain because of how small I really am in comparison to it all. How little I actually know. It’s laughable.

I feel like there is more here than meets the eye. I feel like there is untapped magic. That we’ve been numbed down as if drugged and our ability to sense is blunted. It’s like we can’t always see the miracle before us. We think our man made laws and jobs and little nonsense is truly real. We get narrow minded. But I get it. We’re trying our best. But it feels like our best is compromised because we can certainly do better than this.


0

SUS

Don’t you think reality is kinda sus?

Sus meaning SUSPICIOUS

But not suspicious in a bad way — but more like having REASON TO QUESTION – reason to WONDER — WTF is going on here?

Like tell me how I have these perfectly crafted hands, with these perfectly crafted veins that tell my blood where to go. Blood– this curious fluid flowing through my body like I’m a lava lamp…

My eyes… Have you ever taken a hot moment to really observe the intricacies of the eyeball — FINE work.

Now just observe everything else….

The ocean, a flower, a tree, the stars, the moon, the fucking wind, all the bugs of the Earth and their weird and wonderfully shaped bodies that scare the shit out of me….

Honestly, just everything — have you stopped to just LOOK at EVERYTHING

and then not think WTF is going on here?

How is it possible that there isn’t something INCREDIBLY special (or at the very minimum curious/worth wondering) about LIFE, EXISTENCE, REALITY!?

I have an incredibly complex, intelligent body – I’m a thinking being typing on a fucking laptop living on a “ROCK” floating in space

HOW IS THAT NOT FASCINATING TO THE POINT OF MAKING YOUR BRAIN EXPLODE?

(Metaphorically speaking of course… no brains harmed in the reading of these words — hehe)

But seriously,

WTF is going on?

What is this and what are we doing???

There is clearly something incredible going on here and certainly worth paying attention to

I think it’s harder to argue that this is all a bunch of senseless, meaningless nonsense than it is to argue that there is something worthy of investigation here… Something is up

SOMETHING IS UP

SOMETHING IS <<<

That’s HUGE

That’s insane

That’s just WOW

There didn’t NEED to be something but there IS!!!

(Well, assuming that there didn’t *need to be something is debatable — but there could just as easily never been anything — right? Why is it the case that there IS rather than ISN’T?)

Anyway…

There’s something else I wanted to say

but I kind of forgot what my original purpose of writing tonight was…

the original post was supposed to be titled “EVERYTHING”

because I wanted to ramble on about a bunch of other stuff —

But what was it??

I can’t remember

I’ll have to circle back to it later

Anyway — if you made it to this point — WOW, you’re the real MVP 🙂

You are the real special person who out of ALL the infinite fucking possibilities, made itself to this very moment. And wow…

That amazes me 🙂

Thank you

I love you

Let’s be kind to one another

Let’s make this a beautiful world

0

Reality Codes

Everything that is is embedded with a code which represents its existence.

Everything that is is embedded with fact.

There is a Truth that is beyond argument. This truth is THE TRUTH. Meaning, the fact of that which is.

If something is then it holds an inherent truth.

Just because we don’t know the truth does not mean it’s not there. It’s like uncharted land.

There is an ultimate Fact. While I may not know what this Fact is given my limited intellect, what I do know is that there is an Answer, because the answer is inseparable from existence in itself. The Answer is encoded in reality. But I do not have the mental capacity to compute it. Perhaps, however, there is another way.

But I have arguments against this “other way,” because it’s through experience. But experience alone, I believe, is not sufficient proof. As experience is subjective.

But perhaps if I knew, and you knew too, and we all could know simultaneously through experience – ultimate computation, meaning we’d factor ourselves into the equation because only by inclusion could we really know the size of how grand it all is, could we then arrive at a conclusion.

Hm.

Something to think about.

0

Philosophy

We are here.

There is something rather than nothing.

It appears that reality is embedded with a force called Time that causes all things to move.

It also appears that reality is embedded with a formula to figure itself out.

This begs the question of free will.

Am I behaving freely, do I have a choice, or am I simply acting out the functions embedded into the blue print of existence?

Is the ability to choose simply an illusion? Do I think I am choosing because I have been enabled with the ability to “think” and have mistaken this ability for choice? Am I simply unfolding through time as I have been programmed to do?

But beyond that… when I observe the world and its complexities it’s “realness” seems almost absurd to doubt. It seems like there really is a real world. That the stories we’ve learned in our science textbooks must hold true. There must have been a Big Bang. This must be a product of some explosion and evolutionary process. I must be here because I evolved from another species.

Right?

Regardless of the story we buy into, what seems to remain unexplained is the question of why truly is there existence rather than nonexistance?

Why is it that things are rather than are not?

The fact that there IS something rather than NOT trips me out.

Holy shit, I exist. What the fuck!?

I am here rather than not here.

Does that mean something? Or does it mean nothing?

Yeah, I’m here and so is everyone and everything else – big woop. (Hope you hear the sarcasm in this statement).

 

I just don’t get it. What’s the point?

If this means nothing who the hell cares. I sure don’t. Or maybe if I knew it really didn’t matter and I only had this life to live perhaps I would enjoy it more. Because I’d know that I’m only given one opportunity to exist, and since I do exist why not make the best of it?

It would be relieving to know that I didn’t have to live a certain way or do a certain thing or get to a certain place because in the end it doesn’t matter – so why fuss? Why get so caught up in a negative story? Nobody matters. Nothing matters. So fuck me and fuck you.

Fuck what you think. Fuck your bullshit. Your theories. Your science. It doesn’t matter: I don’t matter and you don’t matter and in the end nothing matters.

So have fun. Enjoy the one life that was granted by coincidence, by odd chance, by luck.

 

But I don’t know that that’s the fucking truth. I don’t know the why. I only have ideas. Theories. Guesses. Stories.

I am always left guessing. Wondering. Searching.

At times the search becomes exhausting. And I hate that I care so much. That it’s somehow embedded in my DNA to obsess about life, my place in it and the meaning of all this.

 

Whatever.

0

Zoom Out

We become so enraptured in our stories, in our own little world, that we lose sight of the bigger picture.

We think that a change in our reality means our world is falling apart. We sometimes grow hopeless. We become discouraged.

As if there wasn’t an entire universe still left to be embraced.

We are made to be resilient. Survival is our natural instinct.

When it feels like the world is falling apart take a moment to simply breathe. To pause. To zoom out from looking at the situation under a microscope. To remember that there is still so much available to you. That the universe hasn’t  gone anywhere; it’s still here. There is still more for you.

The problem often lies inside our heads. In our imagination. In the file cabinets of our mind where we keep the memories, stories, and cinematics we entertain as so to make sense of things; as so to analyze, interpret, project.

Enough for now. Put the files down.

Breathe.

When we take a step away from being too close to our situation we can find fresh air. New hope. New beginnings. And a bigger reality we’ve too easily forgotten.

 

0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑