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Suffering

Fleeting Time

“How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line, can’t define what I’m after”            -O.A.R

It’s like life keeps making me reasses everything.
Can’t hang on to anything. 
 
Everything is temporary. Nothing actually belongs to me. I can’t hold on to anything. And I lose everything. Nothing lasts forever. And I don’t like it. I don’t like it when things get taken away from me. It hurts. 
I want to hold on to things. People. Places. Things. Statuses. I don’t want to let go. 
 
I’m selfish.
I want things for myself. 
I want things and people and places to fulfill me.
To validate me. 
To be a reminder that I am safe and that I haven’t lost. I want to be reminded that I’m okay. 
And that you’re here. And I’m here.
And that you haven’t left. 
And that I haven’t left.
And that everything is the same.
And that it won’t change. 
And that it’s perfect.
 
But it’s not.
Because everything is stripped away from me.
I work so hard to have it all taken away.
My face becomes wrinkled.
My bones become weak.
Everything breaks.
People walk away. 
They die.
They change.
Things are no longer how they used to be.
The corner deli is gone.
This town looks completely new.
What’s left of what used to be?
What’s left of us?
I miss the days when we would roam the city. 
When we didn’t care about buying houses and wedding rings or proper diets. We just stuffed our faces with bubble gum. We just played on the street throwing our shoes in the air because we thought it was funny. 
 
I miss feeling young.
Now I feel old even though I am young.
 
The realization that my time is shrinking is upon me.
That with each day that passes the end of my life approaches. Which could be at any moment. 
At any moment I can be robbed of everything.
And one day I will be.
Time will come knocking on the door and it will say “Time’s up.” And just like that everything I thought mattered won’t matter anymore. Because I will be gone. 
 
Gone like everything else that’s ever left. 
And like everything else that will soon leave after.

Do The Damn Thing

Make your suffering count. Pay a price for the life you actually want.


For a long time I have imagined myself as a this great successful person that has helped and touched many lives with inspiring and motivational messages. And then I realized… Oh, I actually have to do something to get to that success. I can’t just sit here on my couch eating McDonald’s expecting Jesus to come down from heaven with a million dollars and a bunch of loving fans for me. I gotta do the damn thing.

And this reality is something pretty scary to face. Whether I fail or succeed is my own doing. I am responsible for my story. I am responsible for what I make of my life. Those chiseled abs I want aren’t just gonna carve themselves. That book I wanna write isn’t just gonna pop into existence. I gotta put in the work. I gotta do the damn thing.

I can fantasize about an abundant, successful career and book but unless I start taking the necessary action and start writing the damn thing it’s never going to come to fruition. It’ll just remain a fantasy.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat here and thought to myself “Oh, I gotta start working on that book.” It’s been over 5 years that I’ve had that thought. And how many pages have I written? 0.

Thoughts and dreams are wonderful things to have. But only actions have actual credibility in the real world.

We have to get honest with ourselves and see what are the actions necessary to create what we want to create and whether or not we are truly willing to put in the sacrifice to make it happen. Even if we are creating something we truly love and are truly passionate about there will still be hard work involved. There will still be a price to pay. There will still be effort and energy to exert. That’s just life.
Even the basic activities in life require energy and effort – like getting out of bed, brushing our teeth, making breakfast, etc…  so why would it be any different when it comes to creating the life and success we know we want to achieve? It’s not different. It’s going to take real effort. It’s going to be painful and really difficult at times – but it’ll be worth it because it’ll bring into existence the results you actually want. So make your suffering count! Suffer for the thing you actually do want and stop suffering for the things you don’t.

*Image credit to pinterest

A Prayer For The Suffering

A Prayer for the Suffering

God. Life. Universe. Energy. Higher power. Source. Whatever, if anything, is out there help those who suffer. All who suffer, may their pain be removed. May peace reign on Earth. May health abound. May food abound. May joy abound. May peace abound. May hearts be whole and minds tranquil. Awaken our hearts and mind. Liven our spirits. May humanity prosper in love. Love come over us and wash away the pain.
Love come over us and wash away the hurt.
Shine light on our consciousness.
Bring peace to our homes.
Love we welcome you.
Love may you reign.
Help us. Help us.
Let love reign.

In love, may it be so. Amen. Amen.

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