things come to an end
and the sooner we come to accept it
the easier it will be to process the pain
i was in the desert some month ago
and there was a moment when i laid on the sandy, rocky ground
silence…
sun beaming on my skin
for a moment i disassociated from my body
i was in it but i wasn’t connecting to it
focused on my breath, i bled into the moment
i could hear flies buzzing, bzzzzzzz, feel them landing on my skin
for a moment i felt like a corpse
just there to be eaten up by time
and then it dawned on me
“if you were dead right now, what difference would it really make?
life will just keep going…
and everything will just keep going…”

here’s the thing…
one day everyone and everything you know will come to an end
you will die, i will die, and everything will pass away
expect it
embrace it
so it doesn’t come to you as a shock
life is impermanent and everything is passing
so when your favorite yellow mug breaks into pieces, accept it
when your partner walks away, accept it
when your hairline recedes, accept it
when they fire you from your job, accept it
when your dad passes away, accept it
when your car breaks down, accept it
when your skin sags, accept it
when everything falls apart, accept it
now, accepting it doesn’t mean you are passive.
it doesn’t mean you do nothing about it
it just means you don’t fight the facts on the journey to manage and cope with the facts
you don’t resist or deny reality
you embrace it
and from that place of acceptance, you take aligned action and response
or idk
maybe you throw a tantrum like a brat
fuck it
either way it doesn’t matter
choice is yours
anyway…i probably have no idea what i’m saying
also… do you notice the gen z influence over me?
i write in low caps now (lol)
i’ve had so many new reflections i wanna share with you
i also wanna revamp this website a little,
especially the “pic me ups” section of it
anyway… i won’t fill your head with nonsense any further for today
the end
Lost and Found
Some days it feels like nothing goes my way. My jacket zipper gets stuck. I miss the train by seconds. I travel far for a project that doesn’t pan out. My hair gets brutally tangled in my necklace. I glance at the clock and suddenly I’m running late. I blindly sit on someone’s spilled coffee. A stranger’s bad breath poorly concealed by minty gum is blown towards my face. It takes the cashier 5 painful minutes to return me my change.
Is the world against me? Or am I moving too quickly and have missed the lesson here?
I watch other people pass me by and wonder if their life is easier. Maybe their zippers never get stuck.
I start thinking that if maybe I was someone else then misfortune would somehow escape me.
I know it’s ridiculous to think this – but I do it anyway. Then I come here and write about it.
Then I get over it and come back to the moment.
I play tug of war with the now and my rambling mind. The endless commentary in my head seems to win most of the battles. Yet even in the chaos of my inner world I arrive at luxurious moments of peace.
Then it’s lost again.
Then found.
Then lost.
Then found.
I realize it’s not about how many times I fall but how quickly I get up, beat the thick brown dust off my warrior body and keep on truckin’.
Truck, truck, truckin’.
Truckin’, truckin’.
Truck, truck, truckin’.
Just never gonna stop.