I can’t quite tell if it’s me or if it’s you.
Who’s making me feel not quite right. Not quite at ease.
It feels as if I have one foot forward one foot back. Like I can’t let go of the railing for fear that I may end up falling but with only the ground to catch me.
There’s this unspoken sense that I’m not quite enough. Where am I getting this from? Is it me or is it you?
Am I feeling this way because something within me needs to change or because you’re triggering me to feel this way?
I don’t always like the way I feel around you. The shy, uneasy, insecure parts of me shine most when you’re near.
But it gives me opportunity to practice. To practice not giving a fuck. Because how else will I learn?
I’m at this weird tipping point where it feels like I need to make a more clear decision about us. My hunch is that I need to step away. But then I go back and forth on the matter.
Maybe I need to chill the fuck out and stop being so emotional, needy, and insecure.
Wouldn’t that be nice?
I think having emotions and needs is normal, though.
I also think we all feel insecure from time to time. It’s called being “human.”
I think what I’m really trying to say is that I need to better manage my shit.
I’m also super hard on myself.
Radical self-acceptance. That’s what my life coach said I need.
That’ll be my daily practice.