Search

Tag

being

There is Nothing Bad About You

Allowing yourself to be means accepting all of you. Even the parts you believe are “bad,” “inappropriate” or “scary.”

For so long I have been trying to deny the darker aspects of my personality. For so long I have been telling myself that it’s not okay to feel sad or mad or angry. I would tell myself that there is something wrong with me because I feel sad often times. I would see myself as a problem when I became angry or upset. I would try hard to change my feelings and to deny my tears with a smile. It is common that when I tell people “I am sad” they respond with something like “don’t be sad,” as if being sad is wrong and something that we shouldn’t experience.
But I am learning that my feelings are valid. All of them. I am learning that my body works in my favor and that my feelings exist to communicate with me.
When I am sad, rather than resisting my sadness, I have to allow my sadness to be. I must allow myself to be sad without feeling sad that I am sad. Feeling sad that I am sad or beating myself up for experiencing “negative” feelings only adds to my negative feeling. It is like throwing more wood, or in this case emotion, into the fire.

Are you sad?

Ok. Good.
It is okay to be sad.
Be sad. Let it be because it is there to help you.
Be there with your sadness right now.
Tell your sadness that it is okay for it to be here and that you have no intention of shunning it away like if it were an enemy. Tell it that you understand that it is here to help you interpret your experience. Tell it that you hear its voice telling you there is something you may want to change or there is something that you do not like.
It is okay not to like something.
It is okay to want to change something.
It is okay to be sad. Breathe with your sadness.

Do not resist yourself. Do not resist your body. Do not resist parts of yourself. Allow yourself to sink deeper and embrace all of who you are. All of who you are is working together for your best interest.
Your body is working in your favor at all times.
At all times your body is trying to heal itself and bring you into homeostasis. Your emotions are working to help you – do not beat yourself up for anything that you feel.
Instead, listen to your body.
Does it feel angry?
Does it feel upset?
Does it feel hurt?
Talk to it.
Listen to it.
Dwell in it.
Know that it is protecting you and trying to bring you into your best place.

Do not feel bad for what you feel.
All that you are, good and bad, is good.
Be. Be all that you are.

THE PROCESS OF BECOMING

Who are you?
Answer: ___________________________

You might answer this question by telling me your name. Your age, cultural background, your social security number, and yada, yada, yada.

But see – that’s not really who you are. That’s information you have acquired from what the external world has determined for you.
You are the awareness of these things.
You are not your name, you are the awareness of your name.
You are not your age, you are the awareness of your age.
You are not your cultural background, you are the awareness of your cultural background.

Get the drift? I hope so.

“So what? So what if I am the awareness of that stuff?”

YAY! Great news, my friend!
Being awareness means that you get to choose your own reality!
It is up to YOU to decide what to accept or reject into your field of awareness.

So the process of becoming is simply asking yourself what are you aware of.
What thoughts are you aware of? Your own? Those imposed on you by others? A little bit of both?

If you realize that you have adopted the thoughts of others rather than your own, this isn’t a bad thing. It isn’t a good thing either. It just IS. This is how we grow – by exchanging ideas with one another.

Things are what they are – things ARE. PERIOD. Whether something is good or bad depends on the preference of the aware being.

So, for instance, the experience of eating chocolate ice cream may be good for me because to my awareness I experience something good from eating it. Someone else, however, may be eating from my chocolate ice cream cup yet have a distasteful experience because to their awareness they experience something bad from eating chocolate ice cream. There is nothing in the particles of chocolate ice cream itself that is coded with “goodness” or “badness” – these types of labeling are judgements of the experiencer based on the effect a particular thing has in combination to their particular being – to their awareness.

So what am I ultimately saying?
– Become YOU.

Do you like chocolate ice cream because YOU like chocolate ice cream or have you come to like chocolate ice cream because people might think you are cool if you eat chocolate ice cream?

Or fill it in this blank:
Do you like ___________ because YOU like _________ or do you like___________ because you believe X person(s) want you to like ___________?

Are you YOU because YOU take pleasure in who you are or are you YOU because of what you believe other people want you to be?
And maybe it’s a combination of both.
It isn’t bad to tag along with what others think is cool – that’s fine – we have words for that: admiration, inspiration, sharing, absorption, learning.
It only becomes a problem when you are not happy with yourself because you are not being true to who you are but are living a life that is decorated by what others want you to be.

When we seek to be what others want us to be, we are seeking approval.
We are seeking approval from others because we have failed to approve of ourselves just as we are. Somewhere along the way we adopted the awareness that “the way I am, as I am, is not good enough.”

Not good enough to whose awareness?

See, as long as to YOUR awareness you are enough, then no matter who tells you “YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH,” this statement will fall flat on its feet – it will have no power over you. It would be the same as a person telling me over and over “chocolate ice cream sucks.” This statement has no power over me because to MY awareness – CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM FUCKING ROCKS!

Be YOU Because YOU like it – whatever it is that you are. And if others like you too – AWESOME – if not, who cares? NOT YOU is all that matters. It is not for their awareness to decide what YOUR AWARENESS KNOWS TO BE TRUE FOR YOU.

YOUR AWARENESS IS ALL THE MATTERS.

Become YOU.
🙂 ❤

Trust Yourself

There are so many people out there saying so many different things that it can become really overwhelming sometimes. One particular type of statement that really gets on my nerves is the one that sounds something like: “It’s not this, but THIS.” The problem with this kind of statement is that sooner or later someone else will just say the exact opposite: “No, It’s not ‘THIS,’ but THAT!”
People will always have something to say about life and how it should or shouldn’t be, but at the end of the day it’s not their place to tell you what you should do or how you should live.
Only you have the power to decide what to do with your life and in which direction to stir it.

Instead of asking what others want from you or what they think you should do, start consulting your own being. Next time you get an urge to ask your friends what they think you should do, stop for a moment and look inside yourself and ask your very own self: “Hey, [speak your name], do you think I should do this?” Start to look within your own self and trust your decisions. Everyone has an opinion, and YOUR opinion is just as valid.

Trust your intuition. Trust the feelings that are guiding you. Let your own person shine. Let your ideas flow. Stop worrying about earning the approval of others and begin to approve yourself.

Every day tell yourself these words:
I am enough.
I approve myself.
I accept myself as I am.
I am capable of making my own choices.
I trust my own being.
I believe in myself.
I believe I will succeed.

Let your own voice be heard. Free yourself from needing the validation of others and start looking to yourself for validation. It can be tempting to want others to pat our backs so that we can feel we are accepted and belong, but once you start to accept yourself it will not matter who is for or against you because you will have everything you need – YOU.

Only YOU can walk your path and only YOU are living your life.
Your life does not belong to your friends.
Your life does not belong to your family.
Your life belongs to YOU – and YOU are the author of your story.
Be free to live your life according to your liking without fear of the judgement of others.
As long as you are not hurting yourself or others, there is no reason to be afraid of being yourself.
YOU ARE FREE TO BE YOU!

Becoming who I am

You’d think it would be easy to be who you really are — but now I realize that it is necessary to assess my own thoughts in order to see which are truly mine and which have been implanted in me by others.

My mother had many fears and many thoughts about the world which she transferred over to me.
“You can’t have sex before marriage, it’s sinful.”
“You have to let your hair grow long because short hair is not desirable.”
“You can’t braid your hair, braids will ruin your hair.”
“You can’t talk to strangers because they will hurt you.”

I understand that her intention was to protect me – she wanted to shelter me from her fears and thoughts about the world.

My mother is not the only one who implanted ideas into my mind. Commercials, movies, stories, books, opinions of others and anything else external to me has had an impact on how I see the world. The outside is dictating how I should see the world suffocating my own ability to think and create for myself.

The point I am making isn’t that we shouldn’t listen to what is outside of us – the point I am making is that we are free to choose what is and isn’t true for ourselves. No one has the power to tell you what and who you are without your own consent.

If I take in the idea “Don’t cut your hair because short hair is undesirable” I limit myself to this idea – which isn’t really true unless I believe it to be so. There are plenty of gorgeous people with short hair – why am I going to limit myself to my mother’s fears of short hair?

I must see that I have the power to decipher what is really true for me.
I must not live by the fears and ideas of others.
I must have my own ideas. I must see the world for myself and through my own eyes, not the eyes of others. This does not mean that others are “wrong” and I am “right” or vice-versa – it’s not about that; it’s about acknowledging and respecting the perspective of others but not losing myself in their picture of the world. I must be able to choose whether or not I think this is really true for me or am I just simply living to impress others.

Am I going with the flow because I believe the flow is suitable for me or am I going with the flow because I am too afraid to swim against the flow? I must not be afraid to swim alone if I have to.
It’s better to be in the pool alone but completely happy than to be in a crowded pool pretending to be happy.

I must not be afraid to become who I am – and I am whoever I want to be.
If I want to have short hair, I must not be afraid to cut my hair because of the beliefs of my mother.
If I want to sell my possessions and go explore the Earth – I must not be afraid to go seek out my wishes simply because others deem it dangerous or unfitting to the norms of society.

I must realize that this is MY LIFE.
MY LIFE GOES ACCORDING TO MY VIEW.

MY LIFE IS MINE.

MY LIFE IS MY OWN. I GET TO SAY HOW I WILL LIVE IT.
I APPRECIATE GOOD ADVICE BUT IN THE END IT IS STILL MY LIFE – IT IS MY STORY TO WRITE.

This is YOUR STORY. Your story is written by you, no one else. You can go with the flow of others but you will always feel like something is missing because you are suffocating your own will to please the crowd.

Don’t suffocate your will for the will of others, unless that is your true will. 

KNOW YOUR WILL!

Are you willing something because it was implanted in you – or are you willing something because deep down it is your own true will? FREE WILL COMES WHEN YOU CHOOSE ACCORDING TO YOUR OWN UNIQUE WILL – NOT IN ACCORDANCE TO THE WORLD BUT IN ACCORDANCE TO YOUR FREE WILL.

If I clean my room for the sake of impressing my guests, am I free? If deep down I just want to be lazy and not clean anything – why am I cleaning? So that I could please others and live in accordance to the will of those who say “you must clean your room to impress your guests.”

BE IMPRESSED BY LIFE ITSELF NOT BY A CLEAN OR UNCLEAN ROOM.

If you clean – clean because you want to.
If you dance – dance because you want to.
If you grow your hair – grow it because you want to.

CHOOSE! BECOME YOU – NOT WHO THE WORLD WANTS YOU TO BE.
BE LOVED FOR WHO YOU TRULY ARE WITHOUT HOLDING UP TO THE STANDARDS OF OTHERS.

BE AS YOU WISH TO BE SO THAT THOSE WHO TRULY LOVE YOU WILL LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE AND NOT FOR WHO YOU HAVE TO BE IN ORDER THAT YOU MAY BE ACCEPTED.

I am also not saying – go do anything you want like kill or rape. If you don’t want your will to be compromised, don’t compromise the will of others either. We must respect all free will. We must respect all of humanity in the process of becoming who we really are.

AN EXPRESSION OF BEING:

I AM.
I am all over the place…

I am happy
I am sad
I am fun
I am foolish
I am poor
I am little
I am great
I am beautiful
I am tough
I am fat
I am skinny
I am angry
I am understanding
I am tired
I am bored
I am listening
I am ignoring
I am belittled
I am silly
I am confused
I am sure
I am secretive
I am forthcoming
I am lying
I am honest
I am afraid
I am calm
I am nervous
I am stupid
I am energetic
I am simple
I am complicated
I am annoyed
I am proper
I am decent
I am indiscrete
I am shy
I am confident
I am busy
I am relaxed
I am anxious
I am farting

DO WE HAVE TIME FOR MORE?

I am impatient
I am patient
I am bitchy
I am soft-spoken
I am quiet
I am talkative
I am sympathetic
I am mean
I am evil
I am disgusting
I am neat
I am overwhelming
I am studious
I am lazy
I am clean
I am dirty
I am caring
I am late
I am exciting
I am pumped
I am nonchalant
I am pretty
I am ugly
I am insincere
I am doubtful
I am hungry
I am stuffed
I am uninterested
I am captivated
I am interested
I am ignorant
I am open minded
I am intolerant
I am unforgiving
I am forgiving
I am tolerant
I am resentful
I am absent-minded
I am passionate
I am uninspired
I am motivated
I am suspicious
I am trusting
I am untrustworthy
I am revealing
I am unfocused
I am determined
I am willing
I am unwilling
I am friendly
I am cold
I am perverted
I am pure
I am innocent
I am guilty
I am phony
I am true
I am slick
I am clumsy
I am cunning
I am tricky
I am clueless
I am stubborn
I am loving
I am kind
I am funny
I am corny
I am bad
I am unhappy
I am depressed
I am broken
I am whole
I am empty
I am fulfilled
I am alive
I am dreaming
I am unaware
I am attractive
I am repulsive
I am vulgar
I am fair
I am biased
I am upset
I am amazed
I am shocked
I am surprised
I am disgusted
I am empathetic
I am cruel
I am deliberate
I am foolish
I am wise
I am helpful
I am thoughtful

ARE YOU KEEPING UP WITH ALL THIS?

I am superstitious
I am superficial
I am religious
I am spiritual
I am careless
I am incorrect
I am correct
I am sexy
I am awkward
I am loud
I am unbearable
I am persistent
I am finished
I am starting
I am done
I am crying
I am playing
I am dancing
I am sitting
I am screaming
I am laughing
I am fighting
I am sorry
I am right
I am wrong
I am giving
I am greedy
I am sharing
I am hiding
I am keeping
I am special
I am separate
I am together
I am apart
I am distant
I am close
I am near
I am brave
I am naked
I am dressed
I am bathing
I am working
I am talking
I am burping
I am resting
I am active
I am moody
I am serious
I am cranky
I am rested
I am belligerent
I am pissed
I am zen
I am spacing out
I am ditsy
I am vengeful
I am humiliated
I am embarrassed
I am proud
I am arrogant
I am regretful
I am repenting
I am intimidated
I am peaceful
I am reserved
I am outspoken
I am meek
I am wild
I am puzzled
I am goofy
I am loyal
I am disloyal
I am temperamental
I am lustful
I am hilarious
I am stunned
I am talented
I am dumb
I am intelligent
I am fierce
I am weird
I am scared
I am defiant
I am capable
I am alone
I am accompanied
I am appreciative
I am ungrateful
I am remarkable
I am practicing
I am running
I am mad
I am glutinous
I am adorable
I am joyful
I am bleeding
I am healed
I am blah
I am speaking
I am tired.

YOUR TURN… YOU TELL ME WHAT I AM.

You are __________________, (fill in the blank)…

Yep. I am that, too.

So if you label me, that’s fine, that’s grand – but just remember when I am anything more than I am, I will always be less than what I really am when I AM. 🙂

1 of Many Rants: Subject: The Holy Bible

If you are religious and are reading this – I’d like to apologize in advance should anything I say here be offensive or hurtful to you. My intention is not to undermine or discredit your beliefs or faith but simply to discuss openly with you. (Smile).

If you think the Bible is the word of God – that’s cool. But it’s incomplete.

Here is why it’s incomplete: It does not have answers to everything – if you think it does – you’re only seeing part of the truth and to see part of the truth isn’t seeing the truth at all.

If you’re reading this, you likely have access to a computer and internet. How did the computer come to be?

The Bible does not teach how to build a computer.
The Bible does not teach us about Wi-fi.
The Bible does not teach us about the complexities of the internet.
The Bible does not teach us about cars.
The Bible does not teach us how to make engines.
The Bible does not teach us why water boils.
The Bible does not teach us how to create a vaccine for chicken pox.
The Bible does not teach us how to run a business.
The Bible does not teach us how to make a cell phone or how to use one.
The Bible does not teach us about chemotherapy.
The Bible does not teach us what is AIDS, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and all the other stuff out there.

I could go on forever about what the Bible doesn’t teach.
But other books do.
Engineering books will teach us how to build machines and how they work. YAY!
Science books will teach us about water, what it consists of and its boiling point (among other things) YAY!
Books on mechanical work will teach us about cars. YAY!
Medical books will teach us about vaccines, chemotherapy, Aids, Gonorrhea and other diseases. YAY!
So if other books explain more than what the Bible explains, why discard them and the knowledge they contain simply because their title isn’t “The Holy Bible?”

We can’t use the Bible as an explanation for everything because it doesn’t explain everything. PLUS!!!!! God’s word (if there is such a thing) would be SO HUGE there wouldn’t be a book big enough to contain it.
God’s true word would be something like: Everything ever uttered and put into its correct context in time and then compiled into a database capable of storing infinite data for all to access!
In other words: God’s word is all the knowledge and existence of all there is — and even THIS isn’t enough to describe it.

We are so much more than what a book can describe.
Our being is so much more than words could express.
We are not limited to a book, even if that book is regarded as holy by people. Just because people accept something as holy does not make it intrinsically holy.
Take water, for instance, if I were to take water apart by separating the hydrogens and oxygen I wouldn’t find the property of “holy” in it simply because a pope has blessed it. But if you would like to regard it as holy – awesome! Do so :). If it works for you, it works for you. But don’t expect a strict scientist to do the same. He doesn’t have to – because interpretations of a thing doesn’t matter either way. Just because a scientist deems something unholy based on his observations also doesn’t make it unholy – because if it’s holy to you – it’s holy. But at the end of the day, whether you think it’s holy or unholy doesn’t matter – because everything just IS. Whatever else you make or call the IS – is totally up to you. We must respect each other’s experiences and points of view in this life.

No concept or idea is sufficient to describe the ALL-NESS that life really is.

YOU ARE NOT LIMITED TO WORDS IN A BOOK.
WORDS IN A BOOK ARE NOT SUFFICIENT TO BE THE FULL TRUTH.
THE MOMENT YOU UTTER A WORD YOU LOSE THE ESSENCE OF WHAT IS BY DEFINING IT.
WHEN YOU DEFINE SOMETHING YOU CONTAIN IT. YOU LIMIT IT TO THE DEFINITION.

Filing the Void

I lived with a sense that something was missing. Although my basic needs were met (food, shelter, clothes, enough money to survive and sit here to write this blog) there was still something inside me that was crying and saying “it’s not enough. Something is missing.”

In my love life, I often blamed my partner for the void.
“I am sad because you are watching more TV than paying attention to me.”
“If only you would do X, Y, Z, then I will feel loved.”

Then I began to realize something I never realized before.
I realized that I blamed the world for the void.

“I don’t have my dream job. That is why I am sad.”
“My partner isn’t this X, Y, Z, way. That is why I feel unloved.”
“My father abandoned me as a child. That is why I have attachment issues.”

I also realized something else.
I realized that I wanted the world to take responsibility for my happiness.
I wanted everyone to do for me so I wouldn’t have to do for myself.

I wanted my job to make me happy because I didn’t want to be happy myself.
I wanted my partner to love me unconditionally so I didn’t have to love myself unconditionally.
I wanted others to be there so I didn’t have to just be with myself.

Once I realized this, I was able to learn the meaning of “Love yourself.”
I realized that if I wanted to be loved, all I needed was to be love.
If I wanted happiness, all I needed was to be happy.
If I wanted company, all I need was to be with myself.

Embodying this new notion has enabled me to be less afraid.
Now, when my partner is watching TV instead of giving me attention, I don’t interpret his behavior as a statement of non-love.
Now, although I still do not have my dream job, I do not interpret that as a sad thing because I haven chosen to BE happy not because I have something or another, but because happiness lives in me. Happiness has become a living entity in me; its being lives in me. If sadness tries to invade my being, I can more easily channel happiness back to me.
When I think of being abandoned and that makes me afraid, I remember that I can still have me.
I can still talk to myself. I know you might think that the idea of talking to yourself is crazy, but it really isn’t. We talk to ourselves all the time. When you have to make a choice between two things and you sit there analyzing which would be best for yourself – who are you analyzing with? Yourself. So you are constantly in communication with your being. I have learned to be my own friend.
It’s such a cool experience. You literally just communicate with yourself and yourself teaches you so many things! Everything I am writing here, I discovered through talking to myself. I have told myself that I needed to improve and to fill the void inside, and my-self responded with a new way of being.

I told myself: “I am.”
“Hm. I am? I am what.”
“I just am. and whatever else I wanna be, I am that too.”
“Oh, wow. I never thought about it that way.”
“I know!! aren’t I cool?”
“Yes. you are if you say you are.”

So I choose to BE HAPPY.
I choose to BE LOVE.
I choose to be COMPANY.
I choose to be WHOLE.
I choose to be  ALL THAT I AM. AS I AM. IF I AM. WHEN I AM.

When I am sad, I no longer tell myself “don’t be sad.”
If I am sad, then f#ck it – I am sad. That’s what I choose to be. And I will be sad for as long as I feel like being sad.

But since being sad doesn’t feel so “good” for me, but being happy does…I choose to be happy more often than sad.

How are you today?
Remember, however you are, you are because you choose to be whatever you are right now.

Life is Now

I used to think that once I got my own place, found the right person, finished school and got the right job, life would start.

I set goals for myself and once I achieve them I quickly turn to myself and say “Ok! Now what?”
I finished school… Ok. Now what?
I found a partner whom I love… Ok. Now what?
I have a nice apartment… Ok. Now what?

There is always this sense of having to do more. Get more. Accomplish more.

Accomplishing my tasks gives me a sense of fulfillment, which is great, but this sense only lasts temporarily and soon enough I am asking myself “now what?” again.

Then I finally realized something profound. I realized that life is here. Life is now.

Life does not start when I accomplish something; It starts when I take my first breath and it will end when I take my last.

I have arrived. I am here and this moment is my life.

I don’t need anything else. I am complete.
In this moment I am whole. There is nothing that I can accomplish to make me more complete because everything that I am, I am when I just breath.

I realized that I am not my name. I am not my car. I am not my house. I am not my possessions. I am not my education. I am not my achievements.
All these things play their function in our world — but when I derive my sense of self from them, I will always feel at lack. I will always feel the need to accomplish more because anything external to me is subject to time and change.
When I rest in the knowledge that “I AM” and my being is sufficient, I no longer need to seek fulfillment in things or in titles because I already am fulfilled.

My life can express itself through different experiences, but it’s not the experiences that define my life. My life defines itself through its presence.

Sometimes I still get lost and captured by identifying myself with the external world and achieving in order to feel at ease and accomplished – but the more I practice just being present the more I realize I am whole now.

I am free now.
I am at peace now.
I am enough now.
Life will not start when I achieve a goal – life IS and will continue to BE here and now.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑