experience

Magic?

where is the magic?? Really.

I’m waiting for it.
I’m praying for it.
I’m hoping for it.

I’m waiting for that moment where it all comes together

Where I wake up and this whole experience of being limited, stuck in a body, stuck in a place, stuck in this “life” was just a dream

because in reality we are magic

it’s all magic

there is no barrier

no limitation

Everything just flows

It’s all easy

It all makes sense

but are we really just animals that evolved over time due to a big bang that generated all that we see today?

Is there something actually and truly really special here orrrr are we just a bunch of meaningless specs of dirt that pass away with time — and then it all ends? This is your one and only opportunity to live?

I don’t know either way

but my hope is that at the end of the day it’s all beautiful

it’s all good

….

I want to see the magic

March 3, 2023 0

Passenger

I am only a passenger in this ride called life.

I was sitting here thinking about where I see myself in 6 years.

I imagined the wear and tear of time painted across my face. The mature look in my eyes. The wrinkles on my forehead more pronounced.

As I conjured up an image of my future self in my mind’s eye I wondered — am I making a conscious effort to really enjoy my experience here in this life?

This means… not allowing stress to get the best of me. This means doing more of what truly makes me happy. Eating foods that I enjoy. Going on more walks. Engaging in local activities. Having intellectual conversations with people who “get” me. Traveling. Being truly myself without fear of rejection. Enjoying the feeling of being comfortable in my own skin. Being comfortable with expressing my own opinions. Trusting my intuition. Telling more people I love them. Connecting with
positive people. Listening to more music. Going to more shows. Taking care of my body.
Treating myself with kindness, love, and unconditional positive regard.

YAAAAS to all the above and more!

One of my biggest stressors right now is my job. Boy does that place know how to run me thin. I can either change jobs or change how I approach my job (I’mma do both).

As I sit here thinking about it I realize that I can’t let myself get sucked into external pressure or self imposed pressure. This is my life. I have the power to dictate its flavor.

I no longer want to let small things bother me.
I no longer want to spend time judging myself negatively.

The decree is in… I’m fabulous. The end.

I want to take ownership of my experience.
Not let worry, fear, or stress consume me.

I want to trust that at every moment I’ll know exactly what to do.

Fuck the bullshit.

I want to enjoy the ride.

Because when the time comes when life flashes before my eyes I wanna see some awesome shit. I wanna see a film that is PACKED with laughter, fun, adventure, coffee, love, friendship, health, music, and all the great memories I’ve consciously created along this passage.

Ya with me?

January 21, 2019 3

I Wonder…

I wonder… are we addicted to feeling sad? scared? worried?
Because it feels too weird being happy.
It feels too weird to let our guard down.
Because letting our guard down, letting our system relax, means danger could be lurking at any corner.

We must be on hyper-vigilance. Looking out for any possible threat.
Interpreting every detail. Staying two-three steps ahead of the game just to be safe.

Can’t let anybody fool me.
Can’t let myself get hurt.
Can’t let them try to pull a fast one on me.
Can’t let myself stay behind on the race.

Are these the kind of thoughts that are keeping us stuck?
Because we are afraid to swim in peace because you never know when a shark is gonna come out from under and just rip your feet apart when you stop looking?

Am I just too scared to let go and truly be happy? Truly start seeing miracles literally unfold right before my eyes?

Is that too crazy?

Is there something actually really beautiful happening right now but I am just too scared, too “real,” too worried to see it?

What would have happened if I actually let go that night? If I actually allowed myself to truly love you? If I wasn’t scared to say yes. If I wasn’t trying to run away. Would I have turned around and seen the light? Because there would have been no better moment in my life.

What If I were to swim without fear. Walk without fear. Dance without fear. Laugh without fear. Speak without fear. Breathe without fear. Play without fear. Simply exist without fear.

What would that look like?
What would that be like?

December 18, 2018 0

Re-route

Nothing is written in stone. And if it is, jackhammer the shit out of it, turn it into pixie dust and blow it into the wind.

Exploration. Do it. Lots of it.

You don’t always know exactly what you want or exactly what you like until you explore, experiment, and test things out.

You may start out super excited about a project, hopeful that it’s going to be a certain way but shortly come to realize “Oh, just kidding. This is totally not for me. This is not even close to what I thought it was going to be.”

You might make a decision only to realize it wasn’t the best.

And that’s totally okay! Exploration is a huge part of our life experience.

And guess what? Discovering that something isn’t quite what you had hoped or imagined it to be doesn’t mean game over. It doesn’t have to mean you’re stuck. It doesn’t even have to be seen as a mistake, but rather an experience that allowed you to gather more information on what you want and don’t want – what you like and don’t like.

News: At any point in time you can always make a new, different choice.
It might involve going backwards.
Changing course completely.
Starting over.
Or rerouting.

Like a GPS that re-routes every time you take the wrong turn, you too, can recalculate your direction to find your way towards your destination.

Hate that job you said yes to? Fuck it, find a new one.
Is that person you’ve been feening for showing no genuine interest? Adios mi amor. Moving on!
Is that environment not the best for you? Relocate.
Tired of that same old hair style? Change it up!
Looking to save 15% or more on car insurance? Switch to…. lol JK! Not promoting anything here – just being silly.

Anyway…

Point is, my amigos, that at any point in your life you can decide to re-route. You can say “This is no longer working for me and I am making a change.”

You don’t have to be stuck where you’re at -there is a way out.

Change is possible! Totally possible.
Don’t beat yourself up when you realize that the grass you went chasing after was not only not greener but it was actually that rough, fake, synthetic shit. Is that a double positive? fake, synthetic? (Whatever).

Just tell yourself that you’re an explorer. That you’re here to learn. That you can unsubscribe to what you’ve signed up for – and that’s totally okay!

You’re living and learning. You’re a beautiful exploring soul and at any point in time you have every right to just take a different turn, recalculate what’s no longer working, and move in a new direction.

You’re the driver of your life. It’s okay to make the wrong turn and it’s also okay to re-direct your path.

You are not stuck.

December 5, 2018 0

Memories

Sometimes the memory of you surfaces above my subconscious where I tightly stuffed the records of you, double shutting the lid covered in bold red tape I’ve labeled “KEEP OUT.”

I pause —

Everything pauses.

All but blurry images of us that unravel in my mind like a movie.
Stop. Fast forward. Rewind. Repeat.
Slow–motion–play.

The commentary that comes to mind when I think of you is something along the lines of “What the fuck was that? What was the purpose of our worlds colliding? Was I supposed to learn something from this? Why did you appear to bruise me? To scar me?”

I pause in search of the answer —

Silence.

At times in my head I imagine scenarios where some future circumstance magically unites our paths. We’re older now. Different. Molded. Morphed into something new by the experiences that shaped us. The look exchanged in our eyes are more mature. And in this moment it all makes sense. I finally understand. You finally understand. And there is peace.

November 22, 2018 0

Change It UP!

When our routines become overly familiar, life can feel painfully monotonous; bland, like a meal lacking some serious seasoning and a little bit of jalapeño pepper, (I like it spicy).

We can add a dash of flare to our day to day grind by making small changes that can lead to big discoveries and new experiences.

I always walk the same route when going to the gym, for instance. Yesterday, by spontaneity, I decided to turn right just one street before I normally do. I’ve never walked down that block before. As I’m walking down this new path, waving my head back and forth to the funky beat of some dubstep, I suddenly see a colorful sign that reads “fresh smoothies.” I FREAKING LOVE SMOOTHIES! I’ve lived in the area for a little over 2 years and did not know that down this block there existed a lovely little smoothie store that offers freshly squeezed juices and fruit smoothies! This small change in my routine allowed me to discover this cute spot that I can now buy delicious drinks from. I couldn’t be more excited. I walked into the smoothie store after my productive workout and purchased a refreshing, freshly squeezed beet, carrot, apple, and ginger juice! It was great! I walked home with a foot sized smile painted across my face as I joyfully slurped my juice.

This is what I’m talking about! Small changes in your every day routine that may bring you opportunities and experiences to shake up the old and birth the new.

I challenge you to take a new route!
I challenge you to wear your hair in a different style! I challenge you to wear a bold color you’d normally not wear! I challenge you to walk into a random restaurant and order something from the menu! I challenge you to start a conversation with a stranger!
I challenge you to make at least one small change in your routine!

Change it up! You’ll be amazed at how little changes can make your day, and ultimately your life, so much more exciting.

Have fun!

April 9, 2016 0

Astral Projection

I want to know. Not just through intellect and feelings, but by experience, indeed.

For the last week or so I’ve been on a mission to explore more of my consciousness and discover for myself dimensions beyond our regular day to day reality. I’ve listened to a few instructional videos on how to Astral Project and decided to give it a try. The first numerous times I’ve tried it the only result I came across was falling asleep. “Damn it! I fell asleep again!” I’d comically say to myself. And with much excitement I’d go to bed every night looking forward to having an out of body experience.

This morning, after being sweetly awakened by my partner’s goodbye kiss, I decided to give the whole Astral Projection thing another go. I closed my eyes and focused my attention on my third eye spot. I eventually dozed into a light sleep and even started to dream a little. I was in an in between state where I felt half awake and half asleep. Suddenly, to my surprise, I started to feel my body gently tingling as I hear a voice clearly direct me to “Let go of your limbs. Let go of your hands. Let go of your feet.”
I then started to feel what I assume is my astral body rise from my physical body. It was as if I had become light mixed with air – or perhaps a spirit – I’m not sure how to identify it.
I also saw other people rising as well but only for a brief moment. I then start to hear this beautiful, harmonious music and as I hear it I cannot help but feel this immense bliss overtake my entire being. I see a reflection of what I recognized to be my higher self smiling joyfully and I could not believe that that was me feeling this much peace and happiness. I remember thinking “Wow, there is no joy on Earth like this joy.” As I gazed upon my higher self I was marveled by how confident I was in my own light just swirling in space to this awe inspiring music. I felt myself rising higher and higher. I felt like I was one with the space I took up as my entire self was uninhibitedly flowing in a sea of utter bliss. It was amazing, folks. I then have the thought “I want to move my legs,” but I was aware that if I moved my legs it would all be over. As I have that thought my elevated body gracefully descends into my physical body. I then open my physical eyes and move my legs.

I was a little sad that I didn’t stay longer to experience more of the environment I was elevated to, but I was also super excited by this experience! I woke up thinking “Wow! I can’t believe this happened!”
Having experienced a glimpse of what our consciousness is capable of achieving, I am pumped to continue to explore and have even more empowering experiences.

I am interested in further exploring this phenomenon to see how my experience develops with time. I look forward to seeing more and sharing more.

Ups, Downs, and in Betweens

There are moments in time where I feel so bored and so blah about life and where I am headed. I start thinking about all the things that went wrong and how I should have taken action earlier. I ruminate.

Yesterday I heard a powerful message by Shirly Joy Weiss, where she reminds us of how normal this act of having negative thoughts is. She goes on to say that it would be a joke to think that we, as humans, wouldn’t experience negative thoughts and emotions. She reinforces that it would be a joke to think that even spiritual teachers themselves don’t go through difficult moments and have negative thoughts and emotions. She recalls to us that this is a fact of life and it’s one of the most normal of experiences. Hearing her reaffirm these statements just made me feel so much better about being human. It’s ok to be bored sometimes. It’s ok to have negative thoughts. All these things come and go. Even the positive thoughts come and go. Our thoughts don’t define us – not the positive, not the negative. We will experience highs, lows, neutrals, in betweens and all else in the spectrum. This is what it means to be alive. To experience. To learn. To be.

We just have to flow with it and remind ourselves that we are so much more than our thoughts and we have to continue to persevere. Let’s persevere together! We can overcome our obstacles and not feel bad because sometimes we fall a little short. We’re human! It’s part of the program!

We got this. Let’s keep on moving! Keep on dancing to the beat of our beautifully unique soul!

WE ROCK!

December 4, 2015 0