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patience

One Step

Don’t look at the size of the mountain, look only at the first step.

I’ve been feeling so much more at ease compared to my usual frantic-get everything done-do everything now self. I am taking small, consistent steps towards my goals rather than staying stuck while freaking out about how far I still am. I realize that some changes are slower than others. I realize that patience is easiest to achieve when I look at how much I’ve already accomplished and focus on what small action I can take today rather than worry about how much I still need to do.

It’s so refreshing to just focus on today. One moment at a time. One action at a time. Life is so much easier when you release control; when you release trying to work out ALL the details and just allow the day to freely unfold as it gracefully guides you.

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Latest Meditations

Meditations:

-You are the one with the answers to your deepest questions. Although you may search for the perspective of others, which can broaden your own, ultimately it is all up to you to decide what is truly best for your path.

-Worrying about the opinions of others makes you insecure and afraid to just stand in your own light. Let it go. Stop worrying about others. Your job is not to make anyone approve of you – your job is to just be and approve of yourself.

-People can’t read your mind. If you want something, say something.

-You have to take action to see results. You can’t just wait around and expect that your dreams will magically fall from the sky. If you want to change something you have to actually take the steps necessary to bring that change into effect. If there is nothing you can do at this very moment, you rest; if there is something you can do at this moment, you do it.

-Complaining drains your energy and doesn’t solve anything. If there is a problem you’re concerned with, focus on the solution. Go straight to the source and express your concerns for the sake of moving forward in a healthy way. Stop wasting energy and time saying the same thing over and over like a broken record.

-Not everyone will like, understand, or accept you. That’s okay. Focus on the people who do. And even if there is no one you can fully count on – count on yourself. You are never alone when you have yourself.

-Be courageous and stand for what you believe in in healthy ways. Kindly and firmly up for yourself. Take actions that will leverage you forward even when they feel scary. Once you begin to move forward you’ll see it’s not so scary – every step will be revealed to you as you move.

-Be patient. Not everything happens instantaneously. Sometimes you have to take one step – wait – one step – wait – one step – wait. Some things are a process. Some things transform faster than others while others may take quite a while. The important thing is that you remain consistent in your part and let the rest fall into place in time.

-Be consistent! You can’t achieve anything great if you do it one day and give up for 5 days. Keep the process. A bucket will eventually overflow when the drips of water are consistent over time.

-Most importantly BE PRESENT. You will miss your whole life if you are running around in your head trying to figure it all out. Be here now. Enjoy this moment. The breeze. The lights. The tastes of food. Whatever it is for you – just experience it. This doesn’t mean “don’t think or analyze at all.” There is a time for everything. There’s a time to think and analyze and figure things out. Thinking steals your life when it’s the only thing you do. Experience your life – don’t be lost in your mind.

-When you feel anxiety breathing deeply really helps. Just focus on your breath and not on anxious thoughts or feelings. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Remind yourself that everything is temporary and that this will pass. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. This will pass.

-You don’t have to try to fit in with others when you know you are clearly different. Be who you are and inspire others. It’s okay to be quirky. It’s okay to be you. There’s enough space for every being. There’s enough space for you to shine. Intelligence conspired together to make the atoms that compose your being. Intelligence inherently knows that your unique expression is needed. You are needed. Be who you are even if it’s different from others. Different is okay. No two atoms are the same. That’s what we need. You.

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Balance

Have your cake and eat it too.

There’s a time for everything.
It’s okay to splurge sometimes.
Compensate.
Let each moment speak for itself.
You are renewed in each moment.
Every second offers you a chance to start on what you missed out on previously.
Appreciate what you’ve done so far.
Forgive your shortcomings.
Make the proper adjustments where necessary.

If all else fails just breath.
Go back to the basics and recreate from there.

Stop being so hard on yourself because of all the minor details. Profited is s/he who acknowledges what needs improving from a place of love rather than scorn.

Namaste.

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Mama’s Words

Don’t be afraid to be you, my child.
Don’t be scared of failing. You just try again, that’s all. It’s just practice.

Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, my little angel. Your opinions matter too. Don’t worry if some others don’t like your style in music, or your hair, or your moods – find those who do – be with them.

Don’t be consumed if some don’t like you – you’re not here to please them. There’s a war in them – it’s not about you. Keep on smiling that beautiful smile irrespective of those who hold hate in their hearts. Smile for you.

It’s okay to be confused, my darling. Life doesn’t come with a map – and even if it did who’s to say you’d want to follow it. Take your time. Be easy on yourself. Forgive yourself. It’s okay not to have all the answers.

If you feel lonely, my sweetheart, know that it comes and goes. Sometimes we get lonely in this big ol’ world. It’s only temporary. Have faith it’ll pass. Give yourself a big hug and know that you still have yourself with you.

Go on now. Go on and be you. No apologies. No reservations.

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Patience

Every time the universe gently whispers the word “patience” to me, like a frantic child I hold my fingers tightly to my ears and violently yell, “NO! I want it NOW!”

ME:

I ask questions like, “When? When will I finally be where I wanna be? Have what I wanna have? Do what I wanna do?”
“Nonsense!” Says the universe in a playful, loving manner.
“Whoever told you that life is comprised of one single instant where you finally reach some end? That’s not life. There will always be something to get, do and be, since at every moment at the same time you are becoming you are undoing. The moment you are born you are dying; evermore unraveling. You are a process of being, becoming, breaking down, reconstructing, transforming. Relax. Be here now. Enjoy here as you go from instant to instant. Carry the enoughness from the present moment into the next moment and you will unravel gracefully without feeling like NOW isn’t enough as it is. Even if you get everything you want in one moment, the next moment there will be something new to experience. You make your bed and marvel at the neatness. Soon, you undo it to sleep, and repeat the next day. You wipe an army of dust from your work desk. Soon, the dust is right back and you must wipe it again. There’s no end to the process. There is no permanent state of perfection, except in stillness, because life equals movement, and movement equals chaos if not for intelligence. Chaos relies on intelligence to organize and maintain it. You are part of that intelligence. If things become too hectic, your consciousness can flow in and out of stillness as you please. This, in part, is why you sleep. Take it easy on yourself. Breath! Aaaahhhhh – you smell that? That’s life, baby! Enjoy it. Be it. Stop freaking out and going all cray cray trying to be more, have more, do more all at once. Do what you can for right now. Be what you are for right now. Have what you have for right now. Together, we’ll deal with what’s next as it comes. Everything will work out – I promise. Trust, act as necessary, and have PATIENCE!”
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Self Reflection – I am Still Learning

I thought I had this “enlightenment” path going pretty darn well for me – then I spent a week with my mom.

I learned a lot about myself and the world.
I learned that I am still pretty impatient and can get easily ticked off when the right buttons are pushed. I became rapidly irritated with my mother’s lack of understanding of herself and her constant fears of the world, throwing much of my inner peace work out of the window for a moment. I became critical of her and sometimes even embarrassed to be related to her.

I still have a whole laundry list of internal issues to figure out, overcome and improve on.

I still often walk around with a commentary voice in my head – comparing, judging, projecting fears, blaming. I realize also that when I make snobby little internal comments like “Oh, this person is so not present” that I am ALSO not present. It’s so easy to judge others and not see where I am at fault.

I had a friend once say, “When you point ONE finger, you also have 3 others pointing right back you.” pointing
This is so true. It’s similar to what Jesus said, “Take the wood from your own eye before trying to take the spec from your brother’s eye.” Ouch. Burn.

Yet even with all my shortcomings, I must not blame myself for being as I am currently in time. I know that I am evolving and on the way to becoming my best self, so there is no reason to beat myself up because I am still crawling and not yet walking. This alone is a huge step for me, especially since I have been master of Karate chopping myself up for not getting it all “right.”

Each day and each challenge offers me new opportunities for growth. I am excited for my evolutionary process, though it is not an easy journey. It varies, really. Some days are easy, some days are hard, some days are in between. I notice that depending on the state of mind I approach my day with, the better or worse it turns out. I am a major advocate for inside out living because I know that my internal emotional state is something I always have the ability to control. When I feel good and my mind is clear, my day feels brighter and more meaningful. When I am gloomy and feel unmotivated, my day also feels foggy and without purpose. The outside world is a major reflection of my inner world.

Let’s keep on climbing, keep on expanding! The view is going to be phenomenal!

Life is my best teacher – our best teacher.

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Be Here First. You’ll Get There.

“Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.” – Mary Hemingway

Resisting your here and now because you want to be there and then will only create in you more emotional pain. You can eliminate additional, self-caused pain by accepting where you are in time as well as disidentifying from negative thought patterns.

There are times when our present circumstances are annoying. Of course you’d rather be in some future, more pleasant moment, because THEN you won’t be dealing with whatever drama is currently present. Totally understandable. Nevertheless, wanting to escape the present moment only adds to the already uncomfortable situation. For example, you have a job interview to get to but you miss the train so you’re probably going to be late. “FML” status, right? It doesn’t have to be.

Thinking to yourself over and over “I should have left earlier” or “I wish I was on the train” or “I will never get the job now” or “Why can’t I ever get anything right” or “Ugh, if only I never stopped for coffee” or “Ugh, where is the next train!!!??” or whatever other thought of this nature, will only add to the negative feelings you are already experiencing.

So what to do?
Be here now.
Be present with your situation without mentally projecting future outcomes and without blaming yourself or criticizing what is. This doesn’t mean become passive about your life and allow the world to just stomp over you. No. Quite contrary! When you allow yourself to accept whatever the moment is presenting you with, you approach your circumstances in a more peaceful, level headed manner. Instead of adding negative commentary to your already unwanted circumstance, you simply accept that this is where you are right now but it doesn’t define you. Missing the train is your present circumstance, and that’s it. There is no further need to add fuel to this fire with unpleasant thoughts. You accept that you are waiting for the next train and if there is anything else you can do about it, like take a cab for instance, you go ahead and do that. You do what you can do, and if there is nothing else you can do, you allow yourself to experience the truth of your moment without resisting what you can’t control. Breathe. Look around you and admire something beautiful. Take this moment to read or write. Take this moment to appreciate life and find something to be grateful for. If nothing comes up, allow yourself to just be present, breathing, being alive. Becoming frazzled will not solve your problems, instead, it will create additional pain in your life.

The mind will want to project all your worries and fears, but it’s only trying to protect you. It goes into “OMG, I am freaking out” mode because your mind wants your success and so it’s only natural for it to come up with reasons as to why missing the train was a horrible, horrible thing. Thank your mind. It is a tool that is only here to help you! Tell your mind that you appreciate it worrying about your well being and success and that you are going to relax now and breathe.

If anxious thoughts keep coming up, focus on your breath. Don’t attach to them and become identified with them as your ultimate reality. Remember, your mind is only trying to help. Let the thoughts pass like a cloud. Realize that you are not your thoughts. Breathe.
You’re ok.
Be here in this moment.
And from here, surely you will get there.
It starts with here. It starts with this moment.

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