Suddenly it clicked.
I’ve been making my life into a project that needs to be “fixed” rather than an experience to live.
I’ve been stuck perpetuating negative thoughts and emotional patterns it’s no wonder it feels like I’m on a treadmill running fast but getting nowhere.
I keep adding wood to the fire. No wonder it keeps burning.
If I’m going to step into the experience of life I truly want then I need to stop repeating the same old habits.
Why do I keep feeling so shitty? Oh, yeah, duh – because I keep thinking there’s something wrong with me and then spend hours on end trying to fix me. It’s like I’m always in the repair shop!
BUT I’M COMING OUT, FOLKS! (Out of the repair shop, not like the closet or anything… not that there’s anything wrong with that… I digress)
I must create new habits!
I must get outta my own head. Focus on actually living my life rather than solving my life. I need to involve myself in more activities. Go to a yoga class. Take up pottery. Go for a run. Learn a new skill or language. Play games. Start a coloring book. Take walks with friends. Do anything but sit here for hours on end immersed in self-help, sel-improvement content. WTF!
Don’t get me wrong, improving one’s self is a beautiful thing but not on an obsessive level. (Guilty)
I’m also not saying I should just go distract myself in order to avoid my issues, no. I’m saying it’s not good to make every day a “fix myself” project. If I’m always fixing myself when do I actually just live and just be? I often don’t! I’m too busy wondering if the world approves of me!
I am awakening to the realization that I am no longer making my life into some kind of project. I’m here in life to have fun and enjoy myself, not pick apart every detail and try to make it into some perfect polished package. No mas mis amigos!
It’s time to really have fun on this ride called life and to stop taking things so seriously.
What a breath of fresh air to know that I’m fine and I could just BE!