There has always been a longing to find someone or something out there to make me whole. Complete me. Validate me.
But I am beginning to shift. There is this deep longing to come home to myself. To accept myself. To live in peace with myself. To approve myself. To simply connect to my breath. To my own existence without needing anything more to fulfill me.
From a very young age I had long term relationships. I was married at 18. It lasted 5 years.
I transitioned straight into another long term relationship.
And then another.
For a large portion of my life I had built my identity on the basis of being with someone. And for the short time where I wasn’t with someone I kept searching for someone.
I haven’t yet learned to just be with myself. To be without searching for someone outside of me to comfort me. To be by me. To make me feel okay. Validated. More whole.
I want this. I want to come home to me.
About me pages always make my mind go blank, which is ironic because there's really so much to say. I guess what stumps me is where do I start?
Here are the basics: They named me Laura. They, meaning my parents, who were never married but mingled in 1988 in the country of Brazil, where little me was born.
I grew up in New York City among a melting pot of cultures, smells, and hustle.
I've learned to be a go-getter, thinker, intuitive, lover of life, peace maker, and coffee enthusiast - among other things.
I like to write. I've been keeping a journal since my early teenage years. I created Reflect Out Loud to simply share whatever is on my mind in whatever style that comes up for me. I try to let whatever I put out here be free flowing. I simply want to share my thoughts out in the open.
But to simplify this about me: I am a human, having a human experience. I have a story, just like you have a story. And some of that story you'll see here.
Um... I guess that's pretty much all I have for now.
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