There has always been a longing to find someone or something out there to make me whole. Complete me. Validate me.
But I am beginning to shift. There is this deep longing to come home to myself. To accept myself. To live in peace with myself. To approve myself. To simply connect to my breath. To my own existence without needing anything more to fulfill me.
From a very young age I had long term relationships. I was married at 18. It lasted 5 years.
I transitioned straight into another long term relationship.
And then another.
For a large portion of my life I had built my identity on the basis of being with someone. And for the short time where I wasn’t with someone I kept searching for someone.
I haven’t yet learned to just be with myself. To be without searching for someone outside of me to comfort me. To be by me. To make me feel okay. Validated. More whole.
I want this. I want to come home to me.