Why is there something rather than nothing?
There isn’t something rather than nothing – there is both something and nothing eternally existing.
Nothing exists. Something exists.
It isn’t one instead of the other. It is both.
It’s normal to feel afraid of the unfamiliar.
I compare it to my cat’s (Lila) perception of the world. A small sound I make with a spoon may startle her because she doesn’t understand that it’s just a spoon and nothing else. This is the same with us humans. Something simple may startle us because we just don’t know any better.
Breathing techniques are a great way to calm the heart when you’re afraid.
So don’t forget to breath.
“This, too, shall pass.” – Source Unknown
I remember sitting on this spot earlier this year under the blazing heat of the summer. I pondered my choices and felt utterly lost, without a clue as to where life was headed or what I wanted. 
Today, as I sit here and contemplate life, I feel more certain – though the wind of uncertainty still caresses my skin every then and again. I realize that it’s ok to be uncertain, even though it’s a horrible feeling to me. Everything passes. All is fleeting.
There are moments in time where I feel so bored and so blah about life and where I am headed. I start thinking about all the things that went wrong and how I should have taken action earlier. I ruminate.
Yesterday I heard a powerful message by Shirly Joy Weiss, where she reminds us of how normal this act of having negative thoughts is. She goes on to say that it would be a joke to think that we, as humans, wouldn’t experience negative thoughts and emotions. She reinforces that it would be a joke to think that even spiritual teachers themselves don’t go through difficult moments and have negative thoughts and emotions. She recalls to us that this is a fact of life and it’s one of the most normal of experiences. Hearing her reaffirm these statements just made me feel so much better about being human. It’s ok to be bored sometimes. It’s ok to have negative thoughts. All these things come and go. Even the positive thoughts come and go. Our thoughts don’t define us – not the positive, not the negative. We will experience highs, lows, neutrals, in betweens and all else in the spectrum. This is what it means to be alive. To experience. To learn. To be.
We just have to flow with it and remind ourselves that we are so much more than our thoughts and we have to continue to persevere. Let’s persevere together! We can overcome our obstacles and not feel bad because sometimes we fall a little short. We’re human! It’s part of the program!
We got this. Let’s keep on moving! Keep on dancing to the beat of our beautifully unique soul!
WE ROCK!
Without action all we really have is potential.
It’s great to imagine and plan things in life, but it’s even better when you actually put your thoughts and goals into action. Without actions your dreams will remain dreams. It’s so much easier to imagine the ideal job, make wishes upon stars, day dream, fantasize, and wonder how things could be. It’s much harder to actually DO something about it. So we remain stuck in limbo. Boo! That’s no fun place to be.
It is only when we actually start taking steps towards our goals that we begin to see our dreams materialize. Everything starts with an idea, but it will end with an idea if we don’t do anything about it because ideas without actions are powerless. We have to actually GO FOR IT! LITERALLY, start doing what you want to see change in your life.
You want to lose weight? Stop wishing it, and start to work out. Start small, grow as you go.
You want to change jobs? Work on your resume and send it out to new employers.
Want to create your own business? Research online resources on how to make that happen and get in touch with people who have successfully done so already and who can help you along your journey.
Want to learn a new language? Sign up for a class whether online or at a school.
Whatever it is – DO IT. NO EXCUSES!
Whatever excuse you come up with for not following your dreams, come up with a solution to replace it and GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE HAPPEN IN YOUR LIFE. Put your noggin to good use and find solutions for your excuses and TAKE ACTION TODAY!
It is only through action that you are going to actually get anything done for yourself. No one else is going to come take over your body and do things for you – YOU GOTTA DO IT YOURSELF.
There is no point in sitting there wallowing in self-pity, feeling bad because things aren’t happening for you. Newsflash – things aren’t going to really happen for you if you’re just sitting there doing nothing about it. It’s great to dream, but dreams don’t just pop into reality outta nowhere – you actually have to DO something about it.
Today I purchased a planner and have decided to become a more powerful me. A me that is going to take action in life in order to see my goals manifest into reality. I am going to save myself through my actions!
Save yourself. GO FOR IT!
I am letting go.
I am releasing what does not serve me.
I release painful memories.
I let go of thoughts that hold me back.
I am free from all past hurt.
I release people from my past who hurt me.
I let go of blame.
I let go of guilt.
I am floating in freedom.
I am bathing in freedom.
I relinquish all my burdens.
I am as light as a feather.
I am healed.
I am swimming in bright blue clear waters.
I am rising with joy in my heart.
I am bursting with bright and loving energy.
I am new.
I forgive myself completely.
I am totally forgiven.
I let go of blaming others and forgive them for my sake.
I am as fresh and pure as the day I was born.
I am living from a new paradigm.
I am living from a new world.
I am living from new set of eyes.
The past no longer has power over me.
I am in complete control of my emotions.
I choose peace.
I choose freedom.
I am whole and in peace.
I am completely free.
I am flying above all my circumstances.
I am abundant and well.
I am new in every moment.
I am alive and I breath in fresh rejuvenating air.
My lungs are filled with the refreshing oxygen and as I breathe out all that does not serve me is released.
I let go.
I let go.
I am free.
I am free.
You are free.
You are free.
From this moment forward, you are free.
“If you’re always racing to the next moment, what happens to the one you’re in?” – Unknown
Much of our life is made up of ordinary moments. Eating, brushing our teeth, walking, cleaning, sleeping, bathing, running errands, taking out the trash, doing laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, driving the kids to school, doing homework, and on and on and on.
The bigger, less ordinary, moments in life like getting married, reaching the top of your career, graduating college, moving across country, buying your dream home, among other grand achievements, happen with less frequency. When we live our entire life neglecting ordinary moments because our mind is too busy chasing after peak moments, we fail to enjoy the entirety of our life experience. Like a hamster running on a wheel, we fervently chase, chase, chase the next moment because right now, just as we are, is not quite enough.
All too often I catch myself feeling frustrated because right now my apartment is too small. Right now, I have debt to still take care of. Right now, I am not at the top of my career. Right now, I am not exactly where I wish I were. So what do I do? I spend time neglecting my ordinary moments chasing after the next moment. I beat myself up and don’t feel good in the here and now. This state of mind blocks me from seeing the beauty in the ordinary. It inhibits me from realizing that although I am not yet experiencing the bigger, more defining moments of my life, it does not mean that my life isn’t already big and momentous in and of itself in the present.
Each day, I realize more clearly how important it is to my wellbeing to simply enjoy the journey without getting worked up about the destination. Life is not about chasing moments, though it’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of chasing. It is easy to get stuck in not feeling enough because right now you are just not there yet. The funny thing is, there is no there – there is only, always, here and now. It is always in the now moment that we will experience anything, ever. To live a happy and satisfied life, we must carry happiness and satisfaction with us in both the everyday standard moments as well as the bigger more rewarding moments. If we place our happiness on any future desire then most of our days will be gloomy because we will always have more average days than peak days. We will always be waiting for happiness to happen in some future time while our present suffers. It is in the here and now that we have to find our joy. It is in the ordinary that we have to see the extraordinary. It is in taking out the trash, washing the dishes, walking the dog, driving the kids to school, brushing our teeth, washing our hands, doing the laundry, walking to work, and all the other little things that we have to participate in with joy. The joy we experience in the extraordinary is the same joy we can carry with us when experience the ordinary. Life will be joyous not just because of the great things you will achieve, but it will be joyous because YOU in and of yourself are great and joyous. Feel it! 🙂
It’s neither here, nor there. But it is, and isn’t at the same time.
Who knows? Who cares? I don’t. I do.
Sometimes. When. Here. There. Nowhere.
Grrrrrrrr….
Bliss.
Not now. YES. NOW. UGH!
Why me? I didn’t ask to be here.
Did I?
They. We. Us. Me. I. Them. Not them. We.
Love. Lust. Hate. Prejudice. Angry, angry, angry.
Spiral. Line. Circle. Triangle.
Numbers. Beautiful.
Ugh, I don’t even care anymore. But I do. What’s the point anyway?
Too much to process. Overwhelm.
I am calm. I can. I never could.
Am able. No. I am not. I am. Yes. NO. Okay, maybe.
Who is to blame? Me. Duh. No YOU. Them. US. No one. Everyone.
WHO CARES!?
I can’t tell you how I really feel because it’s mean. I don’t want to be mean.
I am mean, sometimes. Always. Never. FAIR.
They. We. I. When? FORGET IT.
Too many memories. Not enough process.
Process. WHO? Me. You. US. THEM.
Scream. Run. HIDE. SHOW, FOREVER.
Life. Death. Stupid people. So scared to be honest.
I am not strong enough to take them on.
I am scared to be weak.
I am powerful. Afraid.
PEACE.
Flowers. US. REBIRTH.
Follow your heart.
“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, yet there will still be people who hate peaches.” Vita Von Teese
I have been guilty of being a people pleaser. Often saying “yes” when I really mean “no.” Often putting the happiness of others over mine. I am guilty of wanting to make the whole world happy, because if I make everyone happy then everyone will love and accept me – and then maybe I’ll be happy. Even as I am writing this now, I am trying to please you, reader, by not making grammatical errors so that you will like and respect me. I am trying not to make mistakes, because if I make mistakes then I probably won’t be accepted and respected by you. Right?
From childhood, many of us are rewarded and praised for being “good” but punished and scolded for being “bad.” My mother, for instance, would punish me if I fidgeted in church because that was “bad” and rewarded me if I sat quietly and still because that was “good.” I was told to “act like a lady” and to “eat with your mouth closed” because that’s the “right” and “acceptable” way. I was praised when I behaved in accordance to my family’s values and lectured when I strayed from their world view. As we grow up, we become wired to believe that if we are good, whatever that means, then we will be rewarded and people will, praise, love and accept us. But if we are bad, whatever that means, then we will be punished and people will scold, hate and reject us. So how do we get love? By being “good,” whatever that means, to others.
Now this puts us in a bind for many reasons. We don’t all agree on what’s good or bad. Some of us find it good to be reserved and introverted, others find it good to be outgoing and extraverted. Some like chocolate others like vanilla. Some like Bush others like Clinton. And in the end, we find ourselves pleasing some while disappointing others no matter which choice we make. Additionally, when we live only to make others happy, we fail to be true to ourselves and consequently suffer.
We all want to be accepted in some way or another – by someone or another. It hurts to be told that “you are not welcome here.” And if you’re anything like me, you find yourself putting others first because you don’t want to upset them, because to upset them means they’re unhappy and if they’re unhappy they will leave us. This search for approval and strong desire to be liked by everyone only becomes more complicated when you are torn by people whose pleasures are derived from different “good” standards. Your mom wants you to be a doctor, your dad wants you to work in the family business, and you want to be DJ, which they both loath. You want to move to California, your partner wants to stay in New York. What to do!?
First, and foremost, no matter what you do, someone out there will be unhappy. Some will adore you, some will despise you, while others won’t give a damn either way. Living a life that is designed around making others happy in order to receive love is a recipe for failure and pain. It is not your job to make anyone happy, nor is it anyone’s job to make you happy. When we place our happiness on anything that is external, we always lose because nothing external is guaranteed or permanent.
When you were born, you were there, and when you die, you will be there. You are the only one who will always be with you – no matter what, no matter where. For this reason, cultivating a life of love for yourself is crucial to freeing yourself from seeking validation outside of yourself. Everything else will follow from there. Once you are grounded in yourself, having the approval of others will not be required to validate your life because you will already have validated yourself.
Here are some tips on how to stop pleasing everyone while forgetting yourself.
- Practice saying “no” when you mean “no.”
If you tend to say “yes” when you mean “no” only so that others can be happy with you, next time, when your gut feeling and real intent is no, say “no.” You don’t have to stretch yourself thin only because you are too afraid to say no. Saying no does not make you a bad person. You are putting yourself first and that is always important. It is like they tell you in the air plane, “secure the mask on yourself first, before putting it on your child.” You must take care of you first and be true to yourself first before you can tend to the agenda of others.
2. Speak your mind.
You are here to be expressed! The world needs your perspective. Your thoughts and feelings are valid. Do not hide your voice because you think others will be displeased with you if you speak up. Let the world hear your truth! You may be surprised to see that it isn’t as scary as it seems to speak your mind.
3. Remember, you can’t please everyone and that’s perfectly ok.
It is not your job to be the basis of happiness for others. You are not here to be the court jester of anyone. No matter what you do or don’t do, someone somewhere will have some negative thing to say about it. There is no way to please the whole world because we are all different and experience the world from a unique paradigm. Remind yourself that you are valued just the way you are and that it is not required of you to always be there for everyone all the time.
4. Practice self-validating rituals.
When you feel like you are “bad” because you aren’t pleasing everyone, practice self- validating rituals that refocus your attention back to who you really are and that help you let go of expectations. Tell yourself (as many times as necessary to sink in):
I am enough as I am.
I am valid and my feelings are valid.
I am not bad for speaking my truth.
I am not bad for saying “no.”
I am not wrong for standing up for myself.
There is nothing wrong with me.
I am whole, complete, just the way I am. 5. Give yourself a pep-talk.
Sometimes you gotta be your own coach. When you feel like you’ve let others down by putting yourself first, give yourself a talk. Proudly proclaim to yourself:
This is YOU time!
You’ve already done what you can, now it’s time for YOU.
You got this! You rock!
You can’t be there for others when you’re not even there for yourself. So just BREATHE. Don’t you dare feel bad. You’re amazing!
This is ALL ABOUT YOU NOW! Walk out there strong, and ROCK IT!
#TEAMYOUI hope this is helpful to you.
Always remember that you can’t please the whole world, but you can please yourself by being true to yourself simply because you’re worth it. You are important – live like it!
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