Just because someone is magnetically attractive, their smile and eyes make you want to melt and their pheromones make you want to strip away your clothes, doesn’t mean they’re a good fit for you as a life partner. For a relationship to work, there needs to be more than attraction. Attraction can only go so far. There also needs to be shared values, genuine care, emotional availability, maturity, mutual effort, reciprocity, respect and compatibility.

When the spark happens with someone it’s as if you become drunk by a delicious cocktail of hormones that can easily blur your vision of what the reality is. For a romantic like me this hypnotic delirium can be even worse. Suddenly I’m in wonderland. Suddenly I’m in heaven. 

But you can’t actually get to heaven with just anybody. No sooner or later the reality hits. The person is unavailable, chaotic, addicted, troubled and always late. You start to see the red roses are actually red flags. This is when attraction alone becomes dangerous. When you’re staying, analyzing, trying and hoping the person will be who you wish they could be. Wishing they would match the fantasy. Forcing a square peg in a round hole.

This is why love is not enough. 

Love is beautiful. And you deserve it deeply and fully. 

But what’s also important is all the other attributes that make a relationship a complete package. 

It has to be both love and it also has to work. There has to be more substance. 

So if you’re connecting to someone right now who you know isn’t a fit — listen to that! Don’t force what isn’t right because you’ll waste your time and get hurt along the journey. 

I know we can’t help it sometimes. The drug is too strong. But SOBER yourself up enough to realize that for a relationship to work there has to be more than only attraction. Just because someone is cute isn’t enough. Just because someone has a nice body and you connect well in bed for a few hours (or minutes even!) 👏 that is not enough 👏!! 

Hello 👏

👏 Snap out of this hypnosis 👏

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! 

Attraction is NOT enough