I’ve learned that you can’t expect people to read your mind to know what you’re thinking and feeling.
Sometimes indirect cues can get others to catch on to your intentions, thoughts, and feelings. That, however, doesn’t always work and sometimes you just have to open your mouth and tell it like it is. Don’t go around expecting people to pick up what you’re trying to put out. Because what you’ll find is that often, despite your best efforts, people will have no idea how you really feel because you’re not blatantly saying it.
Unsatisfied with your pay grade?
Don’t pretend to be okay with it. Don’t make indirect gestures. Speak to your boss!
Unhappy in a relationship?
Don’t bottle up your feelings and act like nothing is bothering you. Say something!
Feeling like you need more help?
Don’t hide and hope someone will magically figure it out. Reach out to people and tell them you need help!
Annoyed with your roommate, Steve, who always leaves his dirty dishes in the sink, and who “accidentally” ate the whole carton of rocky road ice cream you purposely labeled “don’t touch”?
Don’t ignore it and smile like everything is fine and dandy! Speak to that son of a gun and let it be clearly known that you’re actually NOT cool with that typa thang.
We have to start being honest about how we really feel. No going around it. No pretending. No being fake about who we really are and what we really think and feel. No trying to indirectly cue it and hoping for the best. NO. Say that sh*t loud and clear.
When we start vocalizing our truth we receive feedback from the world. And with this feedback, we can then seek to make adjustments that move us in the direction of what we actually want.
When we speak up, we may not get the feedback we want. But we certainly almost never will if we don’t speak up because fun fact: people can’t read our minds. (At least not yet. Who knows what technology will allow us to do. There’s probably aliens out there somewhere connecting minds by touching each other’s penis or something… but that’s neither here nor there. I digress.)
When we speak up we receive data from those we are speaking to that will allow us to move forward in the direction that we want. For instance, when I tell my boss that I’m no longer okay working 70 hours or more per week while doing my job, his job, and the secretary’s job all at once for basically spare change as compensation and he basically laughs at me and says “go f*ck yourself,” that tells me this company is a dead end for me. His response gives me the feedback that if I want more then I must move on!
So if there is something you’ve been quiet about I urge you to SPEAK UP! Tell it like it is.
Be transparent. Open your damn mouth and SPEAK your truth and go in the direction of your desires, you glorious badass.